May 31 Jokes: Here are some jokes and funny scenes from TV shows.
Parks and Recreation: I was watching Parks and Recreation and Leslie was talking about old slogans for the town Pawnee.
Leslie: "Welcome German soldiers." The Nazis took over and our mayor panicked.
My little brother who's a history buff laughed at that one.
Degrassi: I was watching Degrassi: The Next Generation and Anya likes this guy who's a doctor. She saw his agenda and knows that he will be at this restaurant at this time. A goes there with her friend Holly J. A gets Holly J to fake a choking, and the Doctor will come and perform the Heimlich maneuver on her.
Anya: I faked a pregnancy for you, you can fake a choking.
Iol.
HJ fakes her choking.
A Man gets up to go to HJ.
A (to Man): Sit down.
Dr. comes over and does the Heimlich maneuver on HJ.
Comedy comparisons: Here are some patterns on what's funny.
Midgets are funny: I saw a bit of American Pie: Naked Mile when I was channel surfing and the midgets were the villains in it. Eminem uses them in his music videos. Even that recently canceled show The Cape has a midget who's a good guy, but he's used for comedy on the show. No disrespect to midgets.
The song "Afternoon Delight": I read that on the TV show Glee, a teacher thought the song was about something else. Years ago on the sitcom Arrested Development, Michael and his niece Maybe were singing that during karaoke at the office party. In the middle of singing it, Michael realizes what the song is about.
June 1 Comparing one thing to another: My little brother saw the movie Pineapple Express where two black women are talking.
Woman: At first it was okay, and then it went out of hand.
Woman 2: That sounds like my first husband.
I was watching the Flash Gordon pilot, and this Mexican immigrant has something he wants to show to the TV studio.
Translator: He says $200 to look at it, and $500 to touch it.
Camera guy: That sounds like my last date.
lol.
Speaking Mandarin: I saw the tail end of The Big Bang Theory and Sheldon was speaking Mandarin incorrectly. It was kind of funny with the subtitles because what he said made no sense at all.
On Desperate Housewives, Lee speaks Mandarin to his adopted daughter. There weren't any subtitles, but I remember what I learned from gr.7-gr.10 Mandarin and understood what was said. She said "Thank you dad" in Mandarin.
On Castle, Castle spoke Mandarin to these Chinese bad guys. Det. Beckett had a gun pointed at them.
Castle (in Mandarin): You need to get out of here. She will shoot. She's crazy.
The bad guys run away.
lol.
On Nikita, Nikita freed slaves from this sweat shop and set it on fire. She was saying in Cantonese telling the slaves to run. Well Nikita is played by an Asian woman Maggie Q so she knows how to speak Chinese. The above 3 examples were white guys.
Job search: I have a question about my job search: Is it effective? I look for a job everyday on my four sources: The Edmonton Journal, Job Bank, Job Serve (they email me daily of job postings) and Kijiji. In Kijiji I look under office manager/ receptionist and customer service categories.
On my days off I look at banks websites and apply for customer service positions. I send out 100 or more resumes a month. I write down everywhere I apply to on my notepad. I only look at office positions. I do apply as a receptionist at hair salons.
Call centre: Most people at my job have a second job. There are two servers who don't have second jobs are now looking for one because all our hours have been cut. I have even been thinking about applying back at Call Centre #4. I worked there for a day last yr, and I had 9 completed surveys. The next day they dismissed me saying that wasn't enough.
I got angry and thought about throwing an egg at their window. I didn't do it, I just thought about it. My restaurant job is in the morning, and this call centre job is at night. In between that time is the afternoon so I can still use that time to look for a job.
Long- distance friendships: All my friendships are long distance. I realized it's been like that ever since I graduated out of high school. I never really get to see or hear from my friends unless I call them, or run into them on the street. At least there's Facebook and my weekly emails to keep in touch with them.
May 2 News: Here are some news.
Min. wage: I read in 24 that the min. wage in Alberta is going from $8.80/hr to $9.40/hr on Sept. 1. It will be $9.05/hr for servers who serve alcohol, because they typically get tips. At my work, I do get tips. I am supposed to get a raise when I work there for a certain amount of hundreds of hours.
Abortions: I read in the National Post that there is an increase in abortions for UK women in their 40s. That's because they're going through divorces and back into the dating game. 35% of men and women ages 35-44 yrs old use a condom when they have sex with a new partner.
The good news is that 70% of people aged 16-19 use a condom when they have sex with a new partner. It's good to know that there may be people who are young, but not dumb. You can even wank it in your mind that the women in their 40s who aren't having safe sex are smart enough not to have the kid.
Pitch package: I'm working on my pitch package for my TV movie. I'm researching on how to make one. I also bookmarked some good professional pitch packages as examples like:
Someone to Hold when it's Dark:
http://www-scf.usc.edu/~amoss/full_final.pdf
It's also making me think about my Graphic Communications program I took at NAIT. I could use what I learned to make a good pitch package.
Here's one made by a teenage girl Shae. There aren't any pictures, but it's a girl with an idea for a teen show. Here it is:
http://dorscht-shae.blogspot.com/2009/12/tv-pitch-package.html?showComment=1307066855820#c7293296511457675635
I then posted an encouraging comment on her blog post:
"Hey I just found your blog because I was looking up TV pitch packages. I'm making one myself. There are some really good professional looking ones like this:
http://www-scf.usc.edu/~amoss/full_final.pdf
I like watching Degrassi: The Next Generation. I'm 25, but when I was in high school, I've always wanted to be a TV writer.
If you are truly serious about wanting to produce your show about Lindsay, you should start writing the script. You should check out screenwriting books from the library too.
Good luck. I see potential in you."
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