Today I found this article by Harvey Schachter in the Globe and Mail:
Do you feel as if the alleged jerk is treating you (and perhaps others) like dirt?
Check your own biases and quirks and how others feel to be sure the problem merits much attention.
How long will the ugliness persist – a long time, or can you put it behind you quickly?
Are you dealing with a temporary jerk (so perhaps you can let it pass) or a certified jerk?
Is it an individual or a systemic disease that has spread all around the office like a contagious disease?
How much power do you have over the jerk? (If you have more clout than he does, do you have more options to act?)
How much are you really suffering? That last one is the bottom-line question, because if you are deeply hurting you must act.
1) “It’s really not so bad.”
2) “It’s getting better.”
3) “Things will get much better sooner.”
4) “I will leave for something better right after I finish this one important thing.”
5) “I am learning so much and making such great connections that the abuse is worthwhile.”
6) “Only I can make things better – nobody else can replace me.”
7) “It may be bad but I’m tough and can compartmentalize this, keeping it from damaging me.”
8) “It’s much worse for others so I shouldn’t complain.” and
9) “It may be bad here but it would be worse somewhere else.”
Sometimes those statements can be true, but more often the person is living in a fool’s paradise, deceiving themselves.
Getting out can be sweet, needed relief. But most people, he acknowledges, can’t or won’t escape – they are stuck. An alternative is to avoid the jerk as much as possible.
Keep your distance: Research shows people are four times more likely to communicate with a colleague who sits six feet away than one who sits 60 feet away. So work from home or see if you can get a desk farther away from the problem. If you’re a boss, ship the problem to another floor or another location.
When talking to them, slow down your own words, with long pauses, and talk softer and softer the louder the jerk gets.
Hide in plain sight: One way jerks leave others feeling disrespected is by ignoring them as people. Yet, Mr. Sutton says that can be a double-edged sword if you try not to stand out, wearing clothes that aren’t flashy and maintaining a bland, blank expression.
Finally, he urges you to be part of the solution by making sure you aren’t a problem yourself. It’s a solid book that can offer some help if you are faced with a jerk at work.
Bill Howatt
What you appear to be experiencing is a toxic culture in your workplace. Common signs of a toxic workplace culture are that social norms appear to be fragmented and become inconsistent.
This can be increasingly troublesome when it’s the leaders who allow inappropriate behaviours. If not stopped, this can reset the culture perceptions around standards with respect to what’s accepted as the norm. This can lead to feelings of being treated unfairly, along with fear and strain that can negatively affect employees’ mental health and productivity.
Write out your concerns, describing the behaviours that are happening and by whom.
Bring these to the most senior person in your division or to HR, providing the group feels safe to do so.
Ontario has occupational health and safety (OHS) legislation that states employers must create a psychologically safe workplace and have reporting mechanisms in place for employees.
As well, you can consult a lawyer who can advise on your legal rights.
With your teammates,
document the team leader’s actions,
their impact on the team and solutions,
such as sensitivity training, which helps to develop awareness of interpersonal sensitivities in the workplace; emotional intelligence training, which goes beyond awareness-building and helps to improve one’s ability to read emotional cues sent by others and use that information to make appropriate behavioural choices;
and leadership performance coaching, to improve leadership effectiveness.
Another solution your team may propose is termination of the team leader. If you do decide to propose this, understand it is the company’s decision to execute accordingly or not.
You work for a large company, so the HR professional who was involved earlier may not be head of the HR function. If that is the case, escalate the matter to the leader of the HR function.
If, however, there is no communication back to your team about a planned course of action or you observe no movement to improve the work environment, consider making an exit.
"Time is up: #BeCivil"/ "I was a hard- charging workplace bully- until it cost my my job"
"How dirty tricks in business can backfire on the offender"/ "Downward envy: when bosses become jealous of employees"
And it was Mississippi where the former teen star would stay, leaving behind a promising career that, in addition to the lead role on Zoey 101, had included two seasons on the kid comedy show All That and major film opportunities; indeed, she tells the magazine she experienced morning sickness while waiting to audition for Twilight (“I felt so sick. Little did I know, I was pregnant.”). But leaving Hollywood behind felt like the only way forward.
My opinion: She could have been making a lot of money if she stayed in Hollywood. She may not get a lot of roles, but she may get a few. She could still make money, and hire a babysitter when she's working. This is her life, and if she wants to move away from Hollywood, she can.
I have been reading the business section of the newspaper since 2010, so I focus a lot on jobs and careers.
Rake leaves: This morning my grandma and I spent an hour raking leaves in the front yard. We filled up the whole green recycle/ compost bin. There was good exercise and fresh air.
Oct. 27, 2020 Peeling garlic: Last month my grandma and I peeled garlic for 1hr and half. Today we did the same thing. I was listening to my free online event series. If you go to my Facebook page, I put them on there.
You: I also finished watching the 2 seasons of this show (20 episodes) in a month and a half. This show is solid. It's a thriller/ drama. There's suspense.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7335184/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_1
Oct. 28, 2020 "Crowdfunders have raised more than $45,000 in a week for the duped 'Borat 2' babysitter who said she felt 'betrayed'":
A crowdfunding campaign set up for the "Borat 2" babysitter has hit over $45,000 in less than a week.
The fundraiser was initially started after it was uncovered that Jeanise Jones who features as a babysitter to Borat's 15-year-old daughter, played by Maria Bakalova, was unaware that she was taking part in the satirical film, and she was paid only $3,600.
In an interview with entertainment blog Showbiz411, Jones said that she received $600 for the first stage of filming, and $3,000 for the last stage but never heard from the crew after. She added that she is now out of work in the pandemic.
"Jeanise is nowhere near gullible. In fact, none of us are," Scobey said. "We are very open people." In his interview with Insider, Scobey dubbed the film a "farce" and said that it's his responsibility as Jones' pastor to help her.
"As her pastor who loves her and is going to protect her … this money is for her. This is to help her, this is to help her family, especially during Covid," Scobey said, adding that he wanted to give Jones' fans "a vehicle to say thank you in a tangible way."
Jones, 62, is featured in several scenes throughout the comedy sequel and she plays an important role in the narrative as she helps to educate Borat's daughter that both women and men are equal.
Speaking with Insider earlier this week, Jones said that she thought she was participating in a documentary about the lives of women from impoverished countries, and she "was shocked" to learn that the film was in fact a satirical comedy.
"Misled is a kind of harsh word, but we were not aware it would be rated R, let's put it that way," she said. "We were told that the US wasn't gonna see it that much, mainly the UK. I didn't think anybody really would see it."
Asked whether she regrets participating in the film under false pretenses, Jones told Insider she did not. "I think it was worth it," Jones said, citing the outpouring of support from strangers who saw the movie. "There's people like me that's out there, you just got to find them."
https://ca.yahoo.com/news/entertainment/crowdfunders-raised-more-45-000-121713229.html
My opinion: That was kind of mean to play this trick on Jeanise Jones. As long as she wasn't purposely made to look bad in this film. At least she got paid $3,600, and then with the crowdfunding.
I have never seen any of Sacha Baron Cohen's films because I know I will be offended.
I then told my brother P about this and he said he watched 3 of Cohen's movies.
If a journalist happens to publish our story, we are described by potential employers as weak and unable to "take it" in the business world.
Prospective clients should realise that it would be wrong to a bully while their victims are probably still suffering and unable to work or find work due to the bad references and bad image.
As a hired gun the approach may get results, but motivation through intimidation works for only a very short period of time.
There are people who can be extreme bullies while appearing to be calm or even charming.
There are some who take a taunting approach. There are some who are outright
aggressive. They can all be terrifying and cause a lot of destruction.
Think about Lord of the Flies. The bullying starts as "teasing" and develops from there. In the end, Piggy dies (is murdered, really) even though he's one of the more constructive members of the group.
People who say we don't need to have the police involved in bullying situations either benefit from the status quo, or haven't seen a really bad case of bullying/mobbing. It destroys lives. People end up dead.
Part of the problem is there are bullies in the police force.
Nothing I can do but let him destroy my life. He pushed me down the stairs, and now I have a broken knee because of it.
After the incident, he put on a soft tone and lied and said to everyone with a smirk "oh, I'm so sorry that she fell, she must have slipped".
He bullied me for months to the point that blood gushed out of my nose.
He uses a different tone with HR and others in management and sucks up to them, so they all think that he's a glorified angel.
He paints me out as incompetent horrible worker, and everyone sides with him - it's mobbing. He's a vindictive boss, no doubt about it, yet he continues to shine and destroy lives.