funny marriage proposal/ jokes/ Post Secret

Mar. 9 Funny marriage proposal: I found this funny video on Yahoo.  This guy was wearing a nice suit and he was on the beach with his girlfriend.  He gets on his knee.  I was like: "This moment looks so beautiful."  Then this huge wave comes crashing over them.  He gets up and holds onto her, and they are swept onto the beach. She said yes and they hug.  She had already put on the ring so it wasn't lost at sea. http://ca.omg.yahoo.com/video/dint-marriage-proposal-wipeout-193309677.html Android/ iPhone: Hannah Howard sent me this article "8 Things Android and iPhone Users have in common."  It was a light and fun article to read.  They both said Michael Jackson is their favorite pop star and the second choice was Elvis. http://www.longhornleads.com/blog/2013/8-things-android-and-iphone-users-have-in-common/ Job interview joke: I got this from Daily Silly: Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it." Teacher joke: This is also from Daily Silly: Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?" Little Johnny replies, "A teacher." Me: If a student actually said that to a teacher, he would get sent to the office. Puns: This is from Daily Silly: How does a farmer count a herd of cows? -With a Cowculator Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? -Too many cheetahs Funny story: This is from Daily Silly: An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: DEAREST WIFE: "JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW. P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE" Weatherman: This is from Daily Silly: You Don't Need to Be a Weatherman... It was two o"clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep, when suddenly the phone rang. The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? ... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" and promptly slammed the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, I don't know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear." Me: What?  Wait that man who called the couple was really calling the woman?  He was asking her if her husband is gone so he can hook up with her?  That's unpredictable. Political joke: This is from Daily Silly.  It's not a religious joke, it's more of a political joke. Little Billy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send Billy a $5.00 bill. President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. Billy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read: Dear God, Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00. Thanks, Billy Mar. 10 Rant: Here's a mild rant.  I was emailing this guy for a week and then I said we should meet up.  Then he emails me his number.  So I call him on Fri. and he doesn't call back or email me.  Then a few days later I emailed him again.  5 days go by and he doesn't email me.   6 days go by and I left him one last email.  Well, I'll delete him now. Post Secret: "'I was literally walking out my front door to kill myself when you texted me this. I haven't been able to think about anything but you since I woke up.  I hope you are doing okay, And if you want to ignore me that it totally fine and understandable.'" "Going abroad did more than 2 yrs of meds and therapy.  It helped me beat depression." "I made $75,000 last year and feel like a big failure." Me: Why do you feel like a failure?  $75,000 is really good.  Is it because there was a time you made more money than that and $75,000 is really low to you? "Life is more colorful than I ever thought." Mar. 11 Raising kids: I got this from Daily Silly.  However, I remember reading this in the Edmonton Journal Sunday Reader, around in 2010. "We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next eighteen years telling them to sit down and shut up!" In the Edmonton Journal, I think it was: "We spend the first 2 years of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up." Stupid joke: I got this from Daily Silly: Q: What is the height of stupidity? A: Two men sitting on a motorcycle and fighting for a window seat! Me: My nitpick is that it should be: "What is the depths of stupidity?"