Sept. 14 Counseling:
I went to Counselor #1 again. I saw her 2 months ago. She said she
was pleasantly surprised to
see me. After I saw her, I was emotionally exhausted. It's because I
had to talk about my feelings, hardships, expose myself, and it's hard.
But it's good to release your emotions
After I saw her, I was
told to expand my horizons so I entered a few restaurants and bars I
have never been to check what's out there. It's a
little stretch.
Then afterwards, I emailed a couple of people to plan something. That was the hard part.
Flashback:
I talked to her about this flashback. It was back when I was 10, 11
yrs old and I was friends with this girl who lived next door. She was
lonely and bored and she always rang my doorbell everyday wanting to
play. I just wanted to read. She didn't have any other friends. She
did with a few before, but the friendships ended and I was her only
friend. When I didn't want to play, she asks to hang out with my
brother who's 3 yrs younger.
I always said to myself that I
wouldn't be needy like her. If I'm bored and lonely, I would read a
book and I can always entertain myself. My Counselor then drew this
spectrum. One at the far end was needy and the other end was
independent and kind of a loner. The middle was like social. I said I
was between
social and independent.
Sept. 15: That's good that she drew the spectrum, so I can see myself clearer.
Dateline:
I will also bring this back up again about that 35 yr old guy who was
going to date a 12 yr old girl. He said he was lonely so he was going
to do something illegal.
Sept. 22 Obsessions: I asked one
my friends if she found me intense. She said yes, and that I seem to
obsess about things more than other people. You can tell by my weekly
emails about how I keep bringing up that girl who's in a religion that
doesn't allow her to talk to boys and that Dateline guy.
However,
I find a lot of people are like that. I was reading a article called
"When your home is like your skin" by Adriana Barton in the Globe and Mail.
It talks about people (mainly women) who are obsessed with decorating
their houses. It's like if the home is perfect, then your life is
perfect. Or if the home is ugly, then you're ugly. Spending hours and
money decorating your home is excessive.
All things in general should not be taken to the extreme.
Sept. 23 Celebrities: There are lots of people who are obsessed with celebrities. You know like Twilight fans
called "Twihards" and Justin Beiber fans called "Beliebers." I was a
teenage girl once myself and I was obsessed with the boy band O-town. I
watched their show Making the Band on every week, I spend hours on the internet reading about them and looking at pics, buy their cd and listen to them.
Not
just teen girls, but adults can be super obsessed with celebs too. You
can be fans, but don't let it take over your life and that it actually
prevents you from living your life.
As I got older, I do get into celebs, but I'm more calm about it. I will obsess about it for a couple of weeks to a
month. You know like Michael Trucco back in 2008. I watched him on Law and Order: SVU and then I went on Youtube to look him up and watch him in other videos.
Intense: It
was really intense today. So I used my energy and read the newspaper.
Then I went and looked for a job and put a lot of energy into that. I
then watched 2 hrs of Degrassi eps that I missed. So it's new to me. Had dinner and then looked for a job a bit.
I also did a little writing on my Rain script. Use that intense energy to do productive things.
Sept. 24 Stephen R. Covey: He wrote Seven Habits for Highly Effective People.
He died this year at 79 yrs old, due to the cause of complications of a
bike accident 3 months earlier. The article by Douglas Martin said:
"Covey was a bit baffled by his success. He said he was simply telling
people what he thought they
already knew: the efficacy of good behavior."
Covey: We believe that organizational behavior is individual behavior collectivized.
The 2nd habit was "Begin with the end in mind."
Covey:
If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the
funeral experience, you will find your definition of success.
Sept. 25 Job search:
I had taken down notes at counseling. One of them was to volunteer at
this one place where there should be a fundraiser. I emailed them about
it.
The counselor also said apply to TV and radio stations in
Edmonton. This year, I did apply to all of the ones in Edmonton, and
the ones I can get to.
The Secret: I was looking up Edmonton magazines like Vue Weekly. I found this article dissing the book The Secret.
"Watson also targets The Secret, a book teaching people that if they want something, all they need to do is act like they already have it,
and the universe will manifest their wishes. The book has been targeted
at women in particular and Watson says at first glance, the book is
innocuous, but is horrific upon further inspection.
"What they're saying is kids with cancer, they could get better, but
it's really their fault for not asking the universe in the right way,"
she adds. "
I'm for focused positive thinking, but I will draw the line at the cancer part.
http://vueweekly.com/front/story/women_and_pseudoscience/
Sept. 27 Two situations:
Flashback: I
remember Psychology class in gr. 11. The task was to get into groups
of 2 or 3 people. We are to think of two really good situations. I was
with my friend Kyla and this girl in gr.10. All three of us thought:
"Picking between 2 really good guys to date."
Then we got stuck thinking of picking between 2 situations with a pro and a con. I then thought of this.
Me:
There are 2 parties. One is close to your house, but it has parental
supervision. There is a party that doesn't have parental supervision,
but it's really far away."
Mr. Smith: That sounds like a really good situation since it's close by and it has parental supervision.
Yeah, I know he was trying to be funny
instead of seeing
parental supervision as a bad thing.
NAIT: I do run into a
lot of those situations where there is a pro and con. I was at NAIT,
and I knew that no matter how hard I work and study I wasn't going to
graduate.
Situation 1: I either drop out and cut my losses
and get a job. That's a pro. I would lose the tuition I had already
paid and am not getting my money back because there's only 3 months left
of this 8 month course. That's a con.
Situation 2: I
stick with school. I go to school for 3 more months, learn as much as I
can, and get my money's worth of education. That's a pro. I would
lose time and the opportunity to make money by getting a job. That's a
con.
My dad told me to pick #2. It's like being in a rock and a
hard place, but go with #2. I can put that on my resume that I did a
whole yr at school instead of saying I dropped out
mid-yr.
One of my friends did drop out mid-yr because she didn't
like the program, I can sympathize. Lots of people quit or switch
majors.
High school: This is a more hypothetical
situation. If I had gone to Victoria Performing Arts high school, I
would be able to pursue my acting career and there would be more
creative types around me. That's a pro. My parents would be worried
and stressed about me, and then they won't give me as much freedom.
They would be asking how school is, did I do my homework, etc. That's a
con.
I went to the high school that they made me go to. They
didn't worry and stress as much, because they knew I was at a good
school. That's a pro. I wasn't able to pursue my acting career as
much. I did take drama, art, and choir for one year, but quit choir
after gr. 10. The drama and art was not as good as Vic. That's a
con.
Saying:
I remember a saying: "You can have it all, but not just at the same
time." I Google that saying and Oprah Winfrey says "..not all at
once." Lots of articles about women having a career and a family at the
same time.
As you can see my above examples, it's not just about women have a career and a family. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
No comments:
Post a Comment