Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Aha moments article

Sept. 8: I cut out this article from the Edmonton Journal way back when it was first published this year.  I read it and was inspired by it.  I was going to type some of things that I liked up, but then I realized I liked the whole article.  I did bold the lines I liked the most.  Well here it is.  I was on the Edmonton Journal’s website and found the article and wanted to share it with you.  Enjoy. 

http://www2.canada.com/edmontonjournal/news/story.html?id=0aebdc24-322d-478c-8821-b243182b8f98

Readers share their aha moments

Edmonton Journal

Published: Saturday, January 19
PREVIEW
An Evening with Oprah When: Monday at 7 p.m.
Where: Rexall Place
Tickets: sold out
You brought tears to our eyes.

When we asked Journal readers about your "aha moments," more than 350 of you replied, hoping for a chance to win tickets to the sold-out Oprah show in Edmonton.

You told us about experiencing "aha moments" surrounding health challenges (your own or that of your loved ones), the loss of family members and friends, unhappy marriages, unfulfilled career paths ... even chocolate and ironing. Our top choices represent a cross-section of challenges resulting in aha moments. It was difficult to whittle it down to seven winners, one of whom gets the grand prize opportunity to attend the meet-and-greet with the living legend before Monday's show. That privilege goes to Sandra McColl, who wrote to tell us about how she has struggled to come to terms with her son's suicide last year and the aha moment when she realized how she could move forward, ever so slowly.

Jane Holman's submission appears on page A1 today. Here are the other top six entries, and some of the other touching stories you sent.

My aha moment came to me as I was taking down the Christmas tree after the saddest Christmas I have ever experienced. My son took his own life in April of 2012 at the age of 22 and since that time, I have battled depression. As I was taking the decorations off the tree, the thought came into my mind that life seems to be simply a series of losses, one after another. The thought brought tears to my eyes and then the aha moment came. If I hadn't loved my son so much, I would not be feeling the pain of this loss. I realized that as difficult as it will be, I need to focus on the years that Peter was a part of my life and all the joy that he brought to me and use those memories to strengthen me going forward. While I can't say that I am no longer depressed, I do feel like I turned a corner at that moment. I now spend a few minutes every day focusing on a moment that I shared with my son that brought me joy. Each day my burden of grief gets a little lighter and I feel like I am beginning to engage in life once again.- Sandra A. McColl

My aha moment was when I realized my daughter had truly learned the meaning of generosity. When she found out how badly I wanted to see Oprah, she offered to pay for my tickets despite only working part-time after school at Superstore. I have watched Oprah since she was little and she knows how much I care for Oprah. She was willing to generously give me her savings for university to support my dream of seeing Oprah.- Mulki Ali

One day before a school ski trip I found my 10-year-old daughter crying herself to sleep. She told me, "I don't want to go on this ski trip. They are going to have to weigh me to find out what size of skis I need and I don't want all of my friends to see how much I weigh!" She was tall for her age, but always held a little extra weight. I couldn't believe that this is what my 10-yearold was worrying about, when she should have been excited for the ski trip. I decided that my being overweight and inactive was not helping her self-esteem. I had to set the example of a healthy role model. The next day I joined a gym and changed my eating habits. The family was soon to follow. I have lost close to 80 pounds because of it. We are a lot more active and make better choices now.- Karen Park

As a young teenage girl there was a lady I looked up to as an example of who a woman should be. One evening I was shocked to find she wasn't that kind of woman at all. She had misunderstood a situation I'd been in and phoned to accuse me. She yelled for 30 minutes, saying some very demeaning and hurtful things to attack my character. It tore me up emotionally. I felt small. I felt degraded and belittled. After she hung up, I sat in my room alone crying. After two hours of sobbing, my sister slipped a note under my door.  It read: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt.

That was my aha moment! I realized no matter what false accusations or judgments that lady made, I held the power to either let it make me feel small or not. Suddenly what she thought didn't matter. I know myself. I strive to improve every day, but not for the approval of others.  Now I'm a mother of three sweet boys, teaching them to be strong and confident in themselves. That no one can make them feel inferior without their consent.-Sandy Rysavy

My aha moment occurred in 2010 in rural Swaziland while I was doing some construction work as a volunteer in an orphanage.  One morning on the walk to the job site, I could see some children playing soccer in the distance. As I came closer, I stopped and observed them. They were gorgeous. They were laughing, co-operating, playing like children should. They were the epitome of true happiness.

Upon closer observation, I also saw they had no shoes, though their ground was jagged, their way-too-big, tattered pants were held up by string, and their rudimentary soccer ball was made of many plastic bags rolled one inside another and bound by string.  That's when my aha moment hit me like a ton of bricks. Seeing true happiness in these children, amid the joy of play, made me truly realize that happiness has absolutely nothing to do with materialism and everything to do with the people I am with and tasks I do.
I brought my aha moment home with me, and to this day, I am much more present with people and the tasks I do. Those gorgeous children unconsciously gave me eternal happiness. What a gift.- Carla Babichuk

2012 was a very rough year in my family. I am a mother of three boys and married to a wonderful man who works in Fort McMurray. Early in the year, my 13-year-old was diagnosed with ADHD while we were looking for a diagnosis for my eight-year-old. During this time, I flew to Florida to be with my mother, who was watching her husband die a horrible death due to an undiagnosed ulcer. After my stepfather's memorial, my middle son was diagnosed with severe ADHD and Tourette's Syndrome and two weeks later I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I was feeling very sorry for myself.

I was reluctant to send Jackson to school as his tics were very loud and occurred about three times a minute. I asked him if he was ever picked on or if he was self-conscious about his tics. He said to me very matter of factly: "Why would anyone pick on me? It's not me, it's my Tourette's." This statement was so profound and has affected me on such a deep level. Here is an eight-year-old who stands out from his peers but he will not let his disability define him. He is still Jackson Jaques. He HAS Tour-ette's; it is not who he is. Although I have multiple sclerosis, it will not define me. I am still Tracy Jaques. I will not be Tracy Jaques, the lady with MS. I am, and always will be Tracy Jaques, daughter, sister, wife and mother to some very wise children.  2013 is going to be a much more positive year. - Tracy Jaques

My aha moment happened about a year and half ago, shortly after I was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. I was forced to face death and realize life is really out of our hands. We can spend our days without being present in our lives or we can live each day, each breath, realizing how wonderful life is. My life now is very different; I breathe and love the feeling of being alive. I have gratitude for everything in my day, from the glass of water to the slow driver in front of me that helps me slow down to see life. We manifest our own happiness and my aha moment was to wake up and live.- Joanne McDonald

I will never forget the day. It was Monday, May 25 at 4: 30 a.m. when I received a terrifying phone call from my best friend. She was sobbing, telling me that her precious 15-yearold son was at the Stollery Hospital and probably wasn't going to make it. At that moment I couldn't quite comprehend how a healthy, vivacious, funny kid, who had just the night before been online with my son, his best friend, was not going to be with his friends at his Grade 9 farewell. In the days, weeks and months ahead as I blanketed my dear friend with love and warm embraces and as we grieved the tragic loss of her beloved son from a brain aneurysm, I learned how fleeting life really is, how quickly it can be gone, how important friendships are.- Vera Janjic-Watrich

When I was almost 19 weeks pregnant with my third child, I strutted into the midwife's office for a regular exam. Turns out we couldn't hear a heartbeat. An emergency ultrasound confirmed what my heart already knew - our only little girl would not make it into this world.
Everything just seemed to happen so quickly after that. Surgery, work wanting to know how long before I'd be back. It was quite a lot to take in and friends were not exactly coming out of the woodwork. What could they say or do? I could have let the darkness win. I could have let it affect my marriage and the rest of my family. Halloween was coming and we had two other children to think about. My aha moment came when I watched my two boys walking up to a house, faces filled with glee, itching to get their hands on some candy. "Those are some very cute boys you have," said a random stranger. Aha! Yes, yes, they were! I wasn't going to keep looking back at something that wasn't meant to be. I've looked forward ever since! Natalie Champagne Woolliams

Many years ago, on a cold Saturday in December, I gave a homeless man $10 when he asked me for change. The man was surprised. He said, "God Bless you" and he hugged me for what seemed like a long time. It was such an amazing feeling. Driving home I felt like I understood something I had heard for many years, but never knew what it meant - there but for the grace of God go I. Just think about economic collapse and mental illness as two examples that can drastically change our lives. I was surprised by the deep connection I felt to the homeless man. My aha moment was seeing that although we were living two very different lives, the spirit that dwells in all of us allowed for the moment to unfold. - Aimee Anderson

I come from a very large, loving Filipino family. Being born and raised in Alberta, I've been to the Philippines only a few times. In November, I visited for the first time in over 10 years. My grandparents are now in their 90s. Prior to leaving, I was consumed with work and personal stress. While in the Philippines, I was forced to rest, relax and get off the grid. The day we left, I was heartbroken to say goodbye to my grandmother as I wasn't sure if this was the last time I would ever do it. Her parting words to me were: "Make sure you enjoy." Then it occurred to me - I never do this. I make sure things are organized, planned and done. But I never make sure I enjoy them. It's a very simple concept but something I had lost in my busy life. Now, it's the first thing I ask myself. It's amazing what a difference it has made to my outlook. - Jocelyn Magat

I love to travel and have visited 73 countries. My sister always loved to hear about my adventures but she passed away from cancer a few years ago. One of her wishes was for me to use her estate money to travel to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. I decided to take her with me. She had never stated where she would like to have her ashes spread and I decided I would start her off closer to heaven at 19,000 feet above sea level. At 6: 40 a.m. on Christmas Day I made it to the top just in time to see a beautiful deep orange sunrise. I was totally exhausted, cold, and the elevation had taken its toll. I whispered to my sister, "We made it Cathy." As I pulled her ashes from my backpack, I was overwhelmed with emotion and began to weep. At that moment, it all became clearer to me. I picked myself up and felt a renewed energy to enjoy my time at the top and to make the return journey down the mountain. That moment changed my life.- John Cosco

A tranquil photograph of my two sons acts as a constant reminder of how precious, yet fragile, life is. It was taken by a family member, while I was at the hospital with their father. Aren't children amazing? They still have the ability to grab hold of moments and devour every delectable morsel. When do adults lose this ability? I remember getting this photograph and marvelling at how it captured the calmness of my sons' little bodies, as they stood side by side casting into the river. At the time, it was such a remarkable contrast to the world we felt crashing down around us. We had recently learned that my husband had Stage 4 stomach cancer, at the age of 42. Soon after, we discovered my mother had breast cancer. In 2008, both my husband and mother lost their battles to cancer. This has taught me to embrace each moment as if it were my last. This, I learned from my two beautiful boys.- Marie L. Reed

Six months after getting married, we moved to India. My husband was the executive chef of a five-star hotel and he worked long hours. For the first month, I felt homesick, lonely and isolated. Thankfully I had an aha moment. I was at a stoplight on the way to the bank when I saw a homeless mother and her adorable son. They lived on the triangle of cement at the intersection. She was clapping and singing as he laughed and skipped and danced; he simply had no idea that life wasn't wonderful. I was in the back seat of an air-conditioned car with a private driver when I witnessed this amazing woman create a sense of joy on the streets of Jaipur. After that, I started to embrace my new home. I studied yoga. I volunteered. I travelled. I saw her many times and she was always singing. When we left India we gave her everything from our home that she could use. I will forever be grateful to her for opening my eyes.- Diane Wiel

I have often tried to figure out what men are thinking. In the boardroom, as in life, I try to walk a mile in someone's shoes before judging or making assumptions, but this doesn't always hold true in personal relationships. This is particularly so in terms of romantic endeavours; it is difficult to gauge the true intentions or feelings of my partner. I tend to overanalyze every eyebrow raise, distracted conversation, offhanded comment, unanswered question. One day I had an extremely difficult afternoon and walked into the kitchen ranting, until I realized I was facing complete silence and a blank stare. I broke down in tears. Was I too emotional? Too fat? Too loud? Was I not pretty enough? Strong enough? He took my hand and said, "I had no idea what you were talking about - all I was thinking was a) she's beautiful b) I love her and c) did she bring chocolate?" Aha. I have packed chocolate ever since. - Shannon Lundquist

No comments: