shopping/ family jokes/ Picnicface

May 5 Shopping: I was biding my time before a job interview, so I went to Audrey's book store on Jasper Ave.  It has a "lemon stand" where there are all these books on sale for like 50% off.  They also sell puppets, and stuffed animals in the kids section downstairs.  Book: I even found this book How do you spell geek? by Julie Ann Peters.  I read that book in jr. high school. I vaguely remember the storyline.  It's a first person point of view of this jr. high age girl.  She meets another girl who's a geek.  They have to compete in a spelling bee.  Here's a more detailed summary of it: http://www.amazon.com/How-Do-You-Spell-Geek/dp/0316702668 Flirt cupcakes: I wandered around more on Jasper Ave.  I then entered Flirt cupcakes.  It's kind of expensive like $3.33 for one cupcake.  It looks really good with the icing. Papa John's: I then entered Papa John's that sell pizza.  You can buy a slice there or a whole pizza. Extreme Pita: There was Extreme Pita, but I thought it was kind of expensive like $6-$7.  Though that's pretty common for a fast food lunch. Bath and Body Works: I bought some fragrance mist from them.  There was 3 for $10.  It was 80 ml each.  I got Sweet Pea, Dark Kiss, and Twilight Woods.  They all smell so sweet and good.  It will last a long time like months. Coffee quiz: I was reading 24 and I found this coffee quiz.  It was more of a "what kind of coffee you would enjoy at Vanhoutte?"  They asked questions about what kind of chocolate you like and after 6 questions, they tell which coffee to order there. http://www.vanhoutte.com/en-ca/consumer Friends: Today I chatted with my friend Jessica for about 5min.  So one of her friends has a college education and is using it.  She has worked for a company for a year, but doesn't like the company. Me: She should put that she's been working there for a year on her resume.  That looks good that you've been there for a year. May 7 Soups: Today I tried some new kinds of soup like Thai Chicken soup.  It's kind of spicy and I didn't really like it.  I think one time I had Thai soup before back when I was working at the Soup place.  The managers were making it for themselves. I also tried Lentil soup.  It kind of tasted like curry.  I then asked my sister. Me: What's lentil? S: It's a bean. Me: Foodie. On Wikipedia it says lentil grows in pods.  I then thought: "Like peas."  On another website it says it's a "cousin of the bean." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lentil It also reminds me of Buffy, where Cordelia does a science project called "Tomato: Fruit or vegetable?" Willow: It's a fruit. Comedy comparisons: Fat guy driving an ice cream truck: It was a long time ago with the movie Fahrenheit 9/11.  I saw the movie and Michael Moore is driving an ice cream truck around like the White House?  I can't quite remember, it came out in 2004.  MM was spouting his information. When I saw the trailer, I immediately thought of The Simpsons.  I think my brother thought it too.  You know where Homer gains 300 pounds so he can be disable and work from home?  Cut to Lisa riding a bus and she is talking to Ralph. Lisa: I know my dad gained a lot of weight, but that doesn't make him some food-crazed maniac. Homer drives by in an ice cream truck, while eating a Popsicle. Family jokes: I got these from Daily Silly and I liked it: Daughters: Rebekah and her neighbor were talking about their daughters. Rebekah said, "My daughter is at the university. She's very bright, you know. Every time we get a letter from her, we have to go to the dictionary." Her neighbor said, "You are so fortunate. Every time we hear from our daughter, we have to go to the bank." Me: I thought that was kind of true for a lot of college- age kids. Husbands: A mountaineer and his son went to the city for the first time. In one of the buildings, the man saw a set of doors open, an old woman enter, and the doors close. Soon the doors opened again, and a young woman stepped out. The man turned to his son and said, "You stay here. I'm going for your mother to run her through that machine." Me: At first I didn't get it until I read it the second time.  I haven't heard of that one before. Parking joke: I like this one for it's simplicity.  A computer technician was called to a small business to repair a computer. He wasn’t able to find a close parking spot, so he left his car in a No PARKING zone and placed a note on his windshield saying, "James Bauer, computer technician, working inside the building." He completed his work within thirty minutes and returned to his car to find a ticket with a note that read, "Peter Westin, police officer, working outside the building." Me: I think it's realistic and can happen. Funny story: I got this from Daily Silly and thought it was kind of long, but there's a good pay off. A mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by her son's house after he was recently married. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door. "What are you doing?" the mother-in-law asked. "I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law replied. "Why are you naked?" asked the mother-in-law. "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law replied. "Love dress? You are naked!" said the mother-in-law. "But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy, and he makes me happy. I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute." Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way home, she thought about the "love dress" and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home. Finally, the pickup truck pulled into the driveway, and she took her place by the door. The father-in-law opened the door and immediately saw his wife naked by the door. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my love dress," the mother-in-law replied. "Maybe you should iron it first," he said. Dirty joke: I got this from Daily Silly, and this is the only dirty joke I ever got from them.  I may have another one, but some may not think that one's dirty.  This is rating PG-13, 14+. On her 70th birthday, an old women decides it's time to finnaly get married. Since she has no hot prospects, she decides to run this ad in the local newspaper: "Seventy-year young seeks husband. Must be in same age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and MUST still be good in bed. Apply in person" The next day, her doorbell rings, and when she opens the door, much to her dismay is a gray haired man in a wheelchair, and he has no arms or legs. She asks the man, "Do you really expect me to choose you? You don't even have any arms or legs!" The old man replies, "Well, I don't have arms, so how could I beat you?" The woman agrees, and asks him to proceed. "I don't have any legs, so how could I run around on you? Again, she agrees, and replies, "But how could you, without any arms or legs, possibly be good in bed?" The man smiles and says, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I!" May 8 Picnicface:  David Syatt emailed this to me.  I don't know how I got this.  Maybe Linked In? Picnicface is a sketch comedy show and it's cancelled.  I read it in the newspaper today.  I have never seen it.  I may have seen a promo on Comedy Network.  If you like the show, sign this petition: http://www.savepicnicface.com/ I'm only writing about it because I just found out the Canadian actor Andrew Bush was on this show.  He was on the really good show Street Cents and Made in Canada before.  He was funny on those shows. I went and watched their video "The Micromanager."  It's about a boss who starts micromanaging one thing and then starts building up to stupid things that don't matter at work.