Friday, November 5, 2021

Tracy's ideal life vs. Tracy's real life (Part 2)/ "Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life" by Adam Phillips


Tracy's ideal life (as a TV writer & producer, Actor, Office Career) vs. Tracy's real life (Part 1)

Tracy's blog: Tracy's ideal life (as a TV writer & producer, Actor, Office Career) vs. Tracy's real life (Part 1) (badcb.blogspot.com)


Oct. 4, 2021 Tracy's ideal life (Part 2): I have to write about this, so I can deal with it and move on.

Victoria Performing Arts school: I wanted to be an actor since I was 11 yrs old.  When I was 12 yrs old I found out about this school and wanted to go there, but my parents wouldn't let me.  

If I went to this school, I may have been a successful actor.  However, you don't have to go to that school to be successful.  Here are some Edmonton actors:

1. Eric Johnson- he is one of my favorite actors since I was 15 yrs old.  He went to Victoria Performing Arts school. 

Eric Johnson - IMDb

2. Nathan Fillion- he is my sister's favorite actor and she met him.

Fillion was raised in Edmonton's Mill Woods neighbourhood[8] and completed his secondary and post-secondary education in Edmonton, attending Holy Trinity Catholic High School, Concordia University College of Alberta, and the University of Alberta, where he was a member of the Kappa Alpha Society.[9] He has been a U.S. citizen since 1997.[10]

Nathan Fillion - Wikipedia

Nathan Fillion - IMDb

3. Kyle Mac- he didn't go to Victoria either.

Kyle Mac - IMDb

Tracy Au   @TracyAu2
Sep 20
@KyleMacHere Hi, what high school did you go to?

Kyle Mac
@KyleMacHere
Sep 21
 
@TracyAu2 Ross Sheppard High School in Edmonton, Ab.
2016:
Tracy Au   @TracyAu2
Feb 19
@KyleMacHere Why Ross Shep? Why not Victoria Performing Arts high school? Eric Johnson ("Rookie Blue") went there.
Kyle Mac
@KyleMacHere
Feb 20
 
@TracyAu2 it's where my brother went, and I wasn't really a performer until later on;)
  1. Kyle Mac liked your Tweets
    @KyleMacHere Congratulations on season 2 of Between. I'm happy and excited abou
    Tracy Au   @TracyAu2
    Apr 04
    @KyleMacHere You didn't answer my question. How old were you when decided to become an actor?
    Kyle Mac
    @KyleMacHere
    Apr 04
     
    @TracyAu2 I was probably 17!

4. Niall Matter- I don't know what high school he went to.

"He continued to work on the oil rigs alongside his grandfather and brother Trevor until the age of 25, while simultaneously moving to Vancouver and attending Vancouver Film School in pursuit of his long-term goal of an acting career."

Niall Matter - Wikipedia

Niall Matter - Biography - IMDb

5. Terry Chen- I don't know what high school he went to.

"After an education at schools in Edmonton and Vancouver, British Columbia, he attended college in Calgary and studied at the University of Calgary. He moved to Vancouver to pursue acting.[1]"

Terry Chen - Wikipedia

Terry Chen - IMDb

6. Michael J. Fox- I don't know what high school he went to.  On the internet, he moved around a lot when he was a kid and teen.

Michael J. Fox - IMDb


My co-worker Jessica's experience at the school: She worked at my 2nd restaurant job and she went there for the music program.  She described the music program as average, and she could have went to a regular high school like mine and the program would be the same.  The money seems to be going more into drama and acting instead of music.  That's her opinion. 

My opinion: I know that even when I was 13 and 14 yrs old, my parents would never let me go to that school.  I was a C student.  You need to keep an eye on Tracy so she can pass math and science, and graduate out of high school within 3 yrs.

Even if I was a straight-A student like my big sister and little brother, my parents would never let any of us go to that school.  My dad's opinion was that the school was kind of "ghetto."


MacEwan University Arts Campus: I did get to go to an arts school in university.  In 2006-2008, I attended this school for the Professional Writing program.  The school is where all the music and arts students attended.  I did get what I wanted, but it was later in my life.


NAIT's TV program: "This is from Tracy's ideal life (Part 1)":

Plan A: I applied into NAIT's TV program.  I wrote the Career Investigation report on my own, without help.

The Fall 2004 Intake- reject

Plan B: I got into NAIT's Graphic Communications 2004-2005.

I wrote the Career Investigation report with my sister's help.

I didn't graduate because it was kind of too hard for me.  There was no math or science.  This was mainly computer programs like Adobe Photoshop and InDesign, etc.

(This is still Plan A): I applied to get into NAIT's TV program again because I wanted to give it another shot.   I wrote the Career Investigation report on my own, without help.

Fall 2005 Intake- reject

Winter 2006 Intake- reject.  I wrote the Career Investigation report with my sister's help.

2017: I went through my old emails in 2017 and I emailed someone there who works for the program with this subject title: "I want to write and produce a TV drama, will NAIT's TV program help me?"

I got this reply:

"The Radio and Television/Television program does center primarily on news including  videography, editing, on-air, writing, sourcing, social media, etc.

These skills are very transferable and we have many graduates that are working in other areas like production, advertising, other aspects of television and film, charitable organizations and government.

There are many aspects and skills required to produce television and news broadcasts are just another type of show.  But if you are looking for serialized television production another program might suit you better.

The NAIT Digital Media program may have courses in television and film production.  You can contact Digital Media at 780-378-6140 or email DMIT@nait.ca

Red Deer College also offers programs in film and theatre arts that might be just what you are looking for too."

My opinion: I looked up Red Deer College and found this:

Bachelor of Applied Arts, Film, Theatre and Live Entertainment | Red Deer College (rdc.ab.ca)


2018: I emailed this woman who graduated out of the program.  I met here in 2018 and wrote to her now in 2021:

Hi 

I'm Tracy Au and we have met each other once in Nov. 2018.  You probably don't remember this, but we were waiting at the bus stop at night on Jasper Ave.  We started talking and you told me about NAIT's TV program.  I follow you on LinkedIn.  I wrote down notes and now I want to publish this on my blog www.badcb.blogspot.ca

Is this okay, if I post this on my blog?  May I put your full name, or first name, or only first initial?  Thanks.

She emailed me back the next day, and said she did remember meeting me.  She told me I wasn't allowed to put her experience on my blog, and thanks for asking.

I will mainly say it was like what the email above said earlier, like it's more for working for TV news stations.  If you want to be creative, go to Vancouver Film School or British Columbia

Hypothetical situation #1: I get accepted into NAIT's TV program, and after the first year I don't pass or graduate.  

That is a possibility because my grades in high school weren't good.  I didn't graduate out of the Graphic Communications 1 yr program at NAIT.

Hypothetical situation #2:  I get accepted into NAIT's TV program, and I graduate.  

I don't know if that is going to happen, because I never attended the program.  I never even attended a Student-for-a- day and be there for a day to see what the program's like.


2012 TV production company job search: I rebooted my TV production company job search.  I attended an interview in 2008, and didn't get hired.  I decided I will work a regular job at a restaurant in the day and pitch my script to TV production companies in the evenings.  I got 2 interviews in 2 months in 2012.  I called my friend Angela about this:

Angela: How come you didn't do this sooner?

Tracy: I did.  I attended a job interview at a TV production company back in 2008, after I graduated from Professional Writing.  I wrote about it on my blog.

It's okay that she and my friends, family, or blog readers will probably not remember that I attended a job interview at a TV production company from 5 yrs ago.

In Dec. 2014, I was sick for 2 days and decided to look for the blog post about that 2008 interview and I couldn't find it.  I edited spelling, punctuation, and grammar.  In Dec. 2020, I was saving and backing up my blog and I found it:

Dynacor Media: 

In May 2008:

job/ drive/ shopping

Tracy's blog: job/ drive/ shopping (badcb.blogspot.com)

This morning I got up at 10am. Since I got a email from Dynacor, I wanted to get his name so I could call them back. I then called and we will have an interview on Fri. He said I could be a production assistant and not only an office assistant. My dream of working at TV production company could be coming true. I also got a email from Media Masters, but he said that they are a production company. They don't produce the film like pay the writer for the script. They only film it. He told me to get an investor and money for the project before I could call them and start filming.


job/ charity/ 27 Dresses

Tracy's blog: job/ charity/ 27 Dresses (badcb.blogspot.com)

May 9: I went to the Dynacor job interview. It was good. They asked that I email my The Fighter script to them and I did. What was interesting was that one of them kind of recognized me because my name sounded familiar. I told her I called her back in 2004 when I was trying to get into Nait's tv program. They don't really have time to train a production assistant, but they will keep my resume on file. She gave me some tips and production companies like Anaid, Reel girls and Panacea Productions. Call Citytv and ask who is in charge of programming.


In Nov. 2018: 

Dynacor Media job interview/ "It's do or dye" (Timeless)

Tracy's blog: Dynacor Media job interview/ "It's do or dye" (Timeless) (badcb.blogspot.com)


Job tips: 

1. Don't write about your job interview on your blog like I did in 2008.

2. If you do write about it, don't mention the company name or identifying details of the company.

3. If you do write about it, you can mention the company name if you attended an interview at the place years ago and there is no negative comments about it like I did in the 2018 blog post.

I'm going to let the 2008 blog posts stand, because it's not negative.  In the 2018 blog post, I didn't write anything negative.  There were negative reviews of the company, but I copy and pasted those from another website.


Oct. 8, 2021 NAIT's Graphic Communications program: I went into this program, because I was rejected from the NAIT's TV program.   I didn't want to go into a 2nd yr upgrading at Centre High.

Graphic design is creative and practical.  I didn't graduate and that's fine.

This lead me to go into Professional Writing and that's creative and practical.

Oct. 9, 2021 Hypothetical situation #1: If I did graduate out of NAIT's Graphic Communications program, and then I do my practicum at a company and get hired and work as a graphic designer.

Hypothetical situation #2: I don't get hired at the company and work at a regular job like at a clothing store.

Real life:work at a regular job at a clothing store.

Either way I wouldn't be happy, because I wasn't following my dream to be a TV writer and producer.  

My opinion: I am totally over not graduating out of the Graphic Communications program.  I have been over it since I was accepted into the MacEwan's Professional Writing program.

The goal to be a TV writer and producer:

1. I want to be an executive TV writer and producer/ show runner of my own TV show.  I want to write my script and entertain people with them.

2. I am an associate producer or consulting producer, and writer in the writers room of a scripted comedy or drama.  I want to write my script and entertain people with them.

3. I am a production assistant or a crew member on a scripted comedy or drama.

4. I am a production assistant or a crew member on a TV news station like Global News and CTV News.

5. I am a production assistant or a crew member on a Canadian talk show like The Social.  I only watched a bit depending on the topic like it's about phone job interviews.

6.  I am a production assistant or a crew member of a Canadian reality show like The Bachelor Canada.  I don't watch this show or reality shows at all.

7. I am a production assistant or a crew member of a Canadian game show like Family Feud Canada.  I don't watch game shows.

My opinion: I want to entertain people with my TV scripts.  I will write my blog to entertain people.

I will give myself points that I tried to get my TV script produced from 2008-2012 when I was 22- 27 yrs old.  I only pitched my script to a smaller extent from 2013-2014 when I was 28-29 yrs old.

By 2015-2019, I barely pitched my script.

Lessons: 

1. I would rather try really hard and a lot for a long time to achieve my goal, and not succeed than not try at all and wonder "What if?"

I don't regret that my script never got produced, because I tried to get it produced intensely for 5 yrs (2008-2012).  Also to a lesser extent 2013-2014.

It's important to live a life without regret.

Sept. 23, 2021:

"If I don't pursue this, I'll always regret it." -Anthony Doerr, author of All the Light We Cannot See. "Powerful prose" by Ellen Schwartz

Costco Connection magazine Oct./ Nov. 2021


2. Go after what you want and with all your time, effort, and money.

3. Follow your passion.

4. There is an abundance of different jobs in the industry you want to work in.


Nov. 4, 2021 "Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life" by : I was going through my old newspaper clippings and I found this book:

"A transformative book about the lives we wish we had and what they can teach us about who we are.

All of us lead two parallel lives: the one we are actively living, and the one we feel we should have had or might yet have. As hard as we try to exist in the moment, the unlived life is an inescapable presence, a shadow at our heels. 

And this itself can become the story of our lives: an elegy to unmet needs and sacrificed desires. We become haunted by the myth of our own potential, of what it might be that we have in ourselves to be or to do. And this can make of our lives a perpetual falling short.

But what happens if we remove the idea of failure from this equation? With his flair for graceful paradox, the acclaimed psychoanalyst Adam Phillips suggests that if we accept frustration as a way of outlining what we really want, satisfaction suddenly becomes possible. 

To crave a life without frustration is to crave a life without the potential to identify and accomplish our desires.

In this elegant, compassionate, and absorbing book, Phillips draws deeply on his own clinical experience as well as on the works of Shakespeare and Freud, of Donald Winnicott and William James, to suggest that missing out, getting away with it, and not getting it are all chapters in our unlived lives--and may be essential to the one fully lived."

Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life by Adam Phillips (goodreads.com)


This week's theme is about filmmaking and TV production:

"Write here, right now" (TV writing & production in Canada)

Tracy's blog: "Write here, right now" (TV writing & production in Canada) (badcb.blogspot.com)

"Inside the CBC's permatemp culture"





My week:

Oct. 29, 2021 Dads on Duty: I found this on Facebook:




Calling out all RCSD Dads! We need you!
Update: We will also take all types of fathers figures such as tios (uncles), grandfathers, older brothers, godfathers, pastors, deacons, youth leaders, coaches, off duty firemen, any positive adult male role model with some time to give. Ensure your future by investing in theirs.



"Edmonton woman wins $250K lotto on her birthday": Today I found this article by Adam Lachacz on CTV news:


An Edmonton woman bought a lottery ticket for her birthday on Sunday and ended up winning a $250,000 prize.

Leanne Anderson purchased a LOTTO MAX ticket on Sept. 24 and discovered she had won the prize the next day — on her birthday.

"I was going to the store and I thought, 'I should check my tickets,'" Anderson said, in a news release. "I didn't think I was going to win, but I thought it sure would be cool if I won on my birthday.

"When I scanned the ticket I was shocked," she added. "I was in complete disbelief."

Anderson said she planned to pay off her mortgage with the winnings and put whatever is leftover into her savings account.

She purchased the winning ticket at the Clareview Lotto Centre at 4950 137 Ave. NW.

Edmonton woman wins $250K lotto on her birthday | CTV News

Nov.2, 2021 Halloween: I watched the We Bare Bears episodes "Charlie's Halloween Thing" and "Charlie's Halloween Thing 2" where the characters go through some scary stories.

I watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.  PBS was airing it.  I haven't seen this in the last 5 yrs.  When I watch this now, there seems to be a lot of filler and not much of a story.  The kids go trick-or-treating and a Halloween party.  Linus and Sally wait for the Great Pumpkin in the pumpkin patch.  They show Snoopy in his Red Baron pilot costume and acting out his adventure.

This year (like last year) my mom put out a big box of pencil crayons boxes for the trick-or-treaters.  From 6-7pm, all 16 pencil crayon boxes were given away.

I went on Facebook to see people's costumes.

The next day I called Shoppers Drug Mart, and they said they still have Halloween candy on sale.  I walked there first thing when they opened on Nov.1, but they didn't have the chocolate bars that I liked.  (Kit Kat, Coffee Crisp).


"Two Canadians must each repay more than $100,000 in benefits for 22 fake children": Today I found this article by Christopher Nardi on National Post:



OTTAWA – If you hope to claim the Canada Child Benefit (CCB), you’d better actually have children and not fraudulently make them up unless you want to spend time behind bars, warns the Canada Revenue Agency (CRA).

In September, Cornwall, Ont., resident Patrick Paquette was sentenced to 22 months of house arrest followed by a curfew after pleading guilty to one count of fraud related to significant CCB fraud.

The CCB is a tax-free monthly payment that pays up to $569.41 per month to assist parents with the cost of raising a child.

Two Canadians must each repay more than $100,000 in benefits for 22 fake children | National Post

My opinion: I didn't know that you can get CCB from the government.  Then again, I never wanted to have kids.

You can get paid of be foster parent: 

Support for foster and kinship caregivers | Alberta.ca

Futurama: I told this to my brother P.

Tracy: You're probably thinking about that Futurama episode where Bender becomes a foster parent.

P: Yeah.

 The Cyber House Rules | Futurama Wiki | Fandom

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