I'm posting this in honor of International Women's Day Mar. 8. These articles reminds me of the girl who's in a religion that doesn't allow her to talk to boys:
Oct. 11, 2019 "The secret party lives of Muslim women": Today I found this article by Rania Mirza in the Star Metro:
Girls just wanna have fun. I love the fact that we Muslim women do it our way.
Recently, my friend Haniya celebrated her 45th birthday. Her mother invited a bunch of us over to her condo for her daughter’s birthday bash. It was a 70s-themed party with disco lights, the electric slide, hair bands and gogo dresses.
I walk into the condo’s party room and see that the Afghan food trays are steaming, the mocktails are flowing and the music is jamming. All the ingredients for the perfect women-only party.
Haniya’s mother is receiving guests at the door. “Assalaamu-alaikum, Aunty.”
I greet the birthday girl. She’s busy socializing in her golden jumpsuit. “I bet non-Muslims don’t know about our secret party lives.”
“I’m sure most of them have no idea.”
We both giggle as one of the guests unravels her hijab to reveal her platinum-blonde dyed hair.
There’s always been an element of segregation between males and females in my family. Nobody is strict about it, but at parties the older men and women tend to eat and socialize in separate spaces.
This segregation is rooted in what our elders feel is partly a religious and cultural practice. Although, my siblings, cousins and I see things differently, sometimes at family parties we tend to do the same. Many of my Muslim friends grew up in similar households.
Gender segregation isn’t unique to Muslims. A Jewish friend of mine once described her family parties to me and they were quite similar to mine.
When I attended her wedding, I was surprised to see some of the Jewish women dancing behind a screen so that the men couldn’t see them.
A Catholic friend once told me she didn’t mind going to an all-girls Catholic high school when she was growing up, but she said her younger sister found it to be unfair.
While some see gender segregation as archaic, others crave it at times. There has been a rise in female-only spaces.
My friends and I all work in environments where there is some type of organized female-only networking group. I work in a female-dominated profession, so I don’t share the same experiences, but those who aren’t teachers tell me that the higher they climb up the career ladder, the more they find themselves to be outnumbered by men.
For many, this makes free expression difficult. Those who are women of colour, feel an added layer of unease, navigating the different power dynamics at play in these spaces.
We find female networking groups give us more opportunities to make connections with people who understand and respect our ideas and experiences. They can also be fun hang-outs.
Spaces created for females can also be found at academic institutions. Years ago, while studying at the University of Toronto, I remember the downtown campus Women’s Centre. The members of the Women’s Centre were politically active and involved in many community building initiatives. I’ll never forget when someone from the centre walked with me to my car one night after class. I don’t remember her name, but I remember feeling safer with her by my side.
Safety is one reason I go to an all-women’s gym. It’s busy there no matter the time of day. The members I’ve chatted with have said that they much prefer an all-women’s gym to a co-ed gym because they can be themselves.
I’ve worked out in co-ed gyms a few times. I find it to be intimidating to do any type of weight lifting there because the weight area is dominated by males. Inevitably, there’s always a guy that tries to give me lifting tips that I didn’t ask for. I politely listen assuming that they’re well-intentioned, quickly finish my set and then leave that space feeling self-conscious about being watched.
Our women-only parties aren’t in response to feeling marginalized in male-dominated spaces. They’re about us creating spaces to strengthen sisterhood.
“Have you ever been to a Muslim women-only party before?” I ask the DJ.
“I have. I deejayed a bridal shower once. I was shocked at the music, the dancing and the outfits.” She laughs. “But, I think it’s great. Everyone’s just having fun.”
Feb. 23, 2022: I found this in my old physical news articles:
Sept. 16, 2014 "SheTaxi creator has empire state of mind": Today I found this article in the Metro:
"Such requests are common among some religious communities, like among some Orthodox Jews and conservative Muslims where social and cultural mores emphasize men and women staying in separate spheres.
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