Saturday, May 5, 2018

"Office romance"/ Woman with no arms turn social change/ Eric Johnson tweet

Dec. 11, 2017 "Understand the risks of office romance": Today I found this article by Eileen Dooley in the Globe and Mail

Before asking a colleague to have a relationship outside the workplace, make sure the desire to start one is mutual Vice-president of VF Career Management and a career-transition specialist based in Calgary

It starts out innocently enough. He may be early in his career, where all he does is work and the only people he ever sees are at work. Or he is mid-career, working late during crunch periods at the office more times than he wants to. Along the way, he finds himself attracted to someone he works with.

Work is finished. He summons the courage to ask that person to go for a drink after a long day. Instead of saying okay, or “no, thank you,” he gets that look as if he is a pariah at the bar: totally disinterested and she wants him to go away, calling the bartender to make it happen.

Only this time, the bartender is the human-resources director and he finds himself in a meeting to go over the details, one by one. He is told she feels uncomfortable and is now going to have a hard time working with him as a result.

An investigation is under way. His action caused her to feel uncomfortable and, although it may not qualify as “sexual harassment,” it really does not matter. The boundaries for appropriate conduct with co-workers have never been more blurred. He made the gamble – and lost.

According to company-data website’s 2017 Office Romance Survey, 57 per cent of workers surveyed have had an office romance. Of those, 21 per cent were random hookups, 16 per cent led to long-term relationships and 14 per cent were casual.

Ten per cent of those surveyed met their spouse or partner at work; 22 per cent say they use social media to flirt with co-workers. In contrast, 41 per cent say they avoid the whole office romance thing altogether.

Clearly, the workplace is full of lovers. But there is risk of having your employment and professional reputation tarnished, especially if the relationships go south – or even if they don’t get off the ground with the first move.

Where is that sweet spot to have two relationships, one business and one personal, with the same person? Is it even possible anymore, given the attention drawn to unwanted attention? It used to be that “what happened outside of the office was outside the office.”

Not any more.

For employers, the pressure to act is on. Clearly, this particular “date gone wrong” scenario is not comparable with a Harvey Weinstein-style situation with multiple allegations of harassment. But it is a real concern when any attempt to have or grow a personal relationship with a co-worker is not reciprocated immediately, or in the future.

Employers are expected – as they should be – to investigate any accusation of inappropriate behavior, especially those alleging harassment or sexual misconduct. Even if the original relationship was consensual and initially started to go somewhere, it is still all too easy for things to go wrong and to see one party subsequently alleging inappropriate conduct.

I have not even touched on the subject of company holiday parties, which are going on right now. According to the same survey, 26 per cent of office romances began during happy hour or an office party. There is no coincidence that many human-resource consulting firms get requests in January to conduct respectful-workplace training.

Essentially, if you are going to make a move, such as asking someone at work to have a relationship outside of work, you’d better be sure that the other person is mentally fawning over you, talking to his or her friends about you and, in short, cannot wait for someone to break the awkward silence.

It’s like dating back as a teenager, but instead of parents to question and monitor your moves, it’s your employer. If the relationship goes south, there is more onus on your employer to get involved.

Consent is like a form of trust – it is only good until it’s not. Clearly, many people are willing to take the risk, despite all the potential ramifications. Employees also know the court of public opinion is more powerful than ever before, so if a concern is raised, it will be quickly dealt with.

A concern can really be anything – from a first ask on a date, to feeling uncomfortable working together if something goes wrong in the relationship.

So, if you find yourself ready to embark on an office romance, have your employment lawyer on speed-dial.

Or change employers. It’s like dating as a teenager: Move out if you do not want your parents involved.

"After a restructure, I didn't get a new position.  Is management sending a signal?": Today I found this article in the Globe and Mail:


When the company named me a team lead 1 1/2 years ago, I was told that when the number of direct reports justify it, I would receive a promotion to a higher role as operations manager. But following a recent restructuring that consolidated two groups and eliminated the team lead position, the company transferred in an operations manager from another province. I am now reporting to him – essentially in my prior job. They said the decision had nothing to do with performance. Is senior management sending me a signal?


Colleen Clarke
Workplace coach and corporate trainer, Toronto

Restructuring, mergers and downsizing situations are usually an advantage to the few rather than the masses, and they should never be taken personally. Employees are merely pawns in the game when there is corporate change.

Imagine a chess board and each chessman is an employee: now, reconfigure the board from square to triangular with more or less squares and try to put everyone back in place where they were before or might be anew – it's crazy. Employers think that if as many people as possible can still be on the board, life is good – for them maybe, often not for the employees.

You have to reassess your new/regressive place in the company and ascertain whether there is a future for you here. Whatever you decide, continue to be a star performer in case the new operations manager doesn't work out, so you can be ready to take the lead.

And if he does work out, you can offer a new company your professional services with pride and confidence. Always be prepared for change; it isn't always fair or may not seem right, but it is always going to be imminent in all aspects of our lives.


Bruce Sandy
Principal, Pathfinder Coaching and Consulting, Vancouver

You need to be curious and ask the senior company officials why you were not given an opportunity to step into the operations manager position or at least compete for it. Ask for feedback on your performance. Be prepared with a list of your achievements and accomplishments. Give this to senior company officials.

Take notes on the feedback that the company officials give you. Ask where you have excelled in their view. Then ask for areas where they feel that you need more growth and development. Request that they give you specific examples. Ask where they see you going in the company in the future. Ask what it will take for you to move up to the next level such as the operations manager position.

Pay attention to see if the company officials are open and forthcoming with their answers to your questions. Consider the sincerity of their responses. If there are questions about these first two conditions and, if the company officials give more negative feedback than positive feedback and are not encouraging about your future development, then you know where you stand.

At this point, start to network and look for other opportunities. Update your résumé. Seek the advice of an employment lawyer. You may have a case for functional dismissal.

Try to stay at your current company until you find a new position. It is usually easier to find a new position when you are gainfully employed as opposed to out of work.

2 days ago

They’re just not that into you. Make peace with it or move on.
2 Reactions

2 days ago

I agree very good advice. I would not follow the second answer. Touchy, feely type, this company is not. At this moment they are downsizing.
1 Reaction

Bill G
2 days ago

Your company probably still values you as before. They obviously value the other person enough to warrant the transfer. Or he/she may have someone high enough in the food chain to watch their back and protect them in times of restructure. Restructuring is temporary, you career is longer. There will be other opportunities once the dust settles.

Beans Maroc
2 days ago

Do you think maybe!!

My week:

May 1, 2018 Think outside of the box:

Leg braces: I had passed my resume to this place that builds braces for legs.  I never got a call back.  The job ad was in the Edmonton Journal.

Vertically Inclined: I emailed my resume to this rock climbing gym to be a climbing instructor.  The job ad was in the Edmonton Journal.

They emailed me that I had to be available for these 5 days to do training.  I thought about it some more and decided not to go to it:

1. I have never rock climbed before.  That's okay, you don't have to have experience.  

2. I have no interest in rock climbing.  I may do it once and never do it again.

3. I'm not really athletic or interested in sports.

4. I was looking for a job that's not physically hard, and this seems physically hard.

5. This rock climbing skill is not a skill that I am looking to develop.

I emailed this job to V at work.  He wants to be a personal trainer, but he said he isn't interested in rock climbing.

This job would be a fit for people who are athletic, physically fit, and likes to teach people.

West 49 closed down: I looked it up on the internet and it says it has permanently closed down.  At least you can go to the website to buy stuff.

"A Chinese woman with no arms is turning her online fame into social change": Today I found this article by Nathan Vanderklippe in the Globe and Mail.  It was very inspirational to read.  I'm going to put the whole article into another email/ post.  Here are some excerpts:

“Let’s shake hands,” Yang Li says, getting up from the couch to greet a visitor. She lifts her right foot above her waist, curls it around and gives a slight squeeze to an outstretched hand.

It’s the kind of unexpected everyday gesture that has won the young office worker a huge and growing following in China. Ms. Yang’s loss of her arms in a childhood accident − both were completely amputated, leaving no possibility of prosthetics − and no-nonsense mien have made her the subject of national interest and an icon for disabled people.

She was born in Bengbu, in Anhui province, historically one of China’s poorest regions. When she was 4, she ran into a 110,000-volt electrical wire while rummaging for wild fruit in a transformer substation. It took three days for her to see a doctor, at which point both of her arms were amputated at the shoulder.

Indeed, an occasional Kuaishou commenter will react with disgust to her use of feet to eat, particularly in public places. One called it “uncivilized.” But most are supportive. “The pain you experienced earlier in life will turn into great fortune in the next half of your life,” one viewer wrote.

“Watching your videos makes me feel ashamed of myself, because even though I’m a healthy person even the smallest difficulty can easily get me down,” another wrote. “I think I need to learn more from you.”

For her part, Ms. Yang embraces the idea that her unusual appearance and unusual skill can attract attention – and do a bit of good in the process.

“I think I’m a freak, because I’m different from you people in many ways,” she said.

“Think about it − all the things that are usually done by hand, I need to tackle them with feet. Isn’t that freakish or eye-catching? But I don’t see it as anything to be ashamed of. It’s natural. Maybe seeing me do something makes you feel strange, but for me, it is another kind of ‘normal,’ normal with quotation marks.”

Ms. Yang has transformed her considerable audience − which continues to increase by some 10,000 a day − into a source of revenue, launching a small online store selling foodstuffs. Fans also send gifts. It’s not enough to allow her to quit her regular job, but enough to improve her life, she says.

With reporting by Alexandra Li

Maury: It reminded me of watching Maury.  There was a black woman with no arms.  She was doing grocery shopping and chopping vegetables.

Workplace disability: In 2005 I was in the Arts and Cultural Management program at MacEwan.  I took 3 classes and 2 of them went into my Professional Writing college diploma.  I remember this woman Christy who worked at Ticket Master.  She said there was a guy who worked there and didn't have hands and he had his feet and toes to type the keyboard.

Jeopardy: This was when I was in elementary school.  This woman was a contestant.  She didn't have a physical disability.  She said she knows how to play the piano with her toes.

Money Joy Masterclass: I have signed up to listen to this free telesummit:
May 3, 2018 Haircut: I went to get a haircut in Chinatown.  I went there at 10am (when it opens) on a Thurs., and there were 2 people already there.  I waited for 35 min, but at least I was reading the newspaper.

May 4, 2018 Dr. Jean Houston: She is an author and here is a good inspirational interview I listened to:

Michael Anthony Jeweller is closing down: I saw this while riding the bus.  It turns out all their stores are closing down:

Ben Moss Jewellers: Does anyone remember this store closing down?

May 5, 2018 Bill Nye: I was watching Blindspot's episode called "Let It Go" and Bill Nye makes an appearance as himself.  He helps the team with a case.

Also I have noticed that the character Patterson has been on the show for 3 seasons and they never said her first name.

Eric Johnson tweet: He is one of my favorite Edmonton actors.  I tweeted to him:

My sister's co-worker and friend bumped into you back in Jun. 2002 (after season 1 Smallville).  You & your GF were at Jacob clothing store.  They took pic with you.

Replying to

Wow!  That girlfriend BTW is now my wife:) please send my best!

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