rant/ lessons/ foster family

Apr. 2 Rant: I get into these angry moods sometimes.  First I will get to the light stuff and then into the harder stuff of what I'm angry about.  I just need to get this off my mind and write about it to get over it. Counseling: It's because I haven't seen my counselor in 4 months.  She's really good at listening as I rant.  I can't exactly call up one of my friends and rant because it's all hit or miss with them.  I know they're busy with jobs, errands, family, friends, hobbies, etc.  Also I don't want to be a downer and then get my friends angry by saying: "Oh, there's Tracy ranting again.  I don't want to listen to that." Email: There is this beauty with email.  It's totally okay, if you want to skip some paragraphs or you just want to scan.  My sister said that when she reads an article on the internet, she scans and skims.  It's okay if you skim, as long as you get the gist of what I'm saying. What gets me angry and annoyed, is not knowing things.  I was writing the below a bit, and there are some things in life that will always be a mystery. Comedy comparisons: A painting or drawing that is never shown: I have mentioned before about that Malcom in the Middle episode where the dad Hal makes this huge painting throughout the episode.  Then they don't even show it.  There's this huge set up, with no pay off.  On a milder note, it was done on The Simpsons where Marge throws a dinner party, and the Van Houtens get a divorce.  Mr. Van Houten was drawing a picture for the game of Pictionary and Mrs. Van Houten can't tell what it is. Mr. Van Houten: It's dignity.  You draw dignity. Mrs. Van Houten draws it and all the people agree that it's dignity.  They don't show how it looks like.  That's fine, because there wasn't that much of a set up, it's just a little joke. Dateline: Yeah, you guys are saying "Here we go again."  It's about the 35 yr old guy dating a 12 yr old girl.  My questions: 1. Who are you trying to convince?  Her or yourself? 2. What are you guys going to talk about?  Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers? 3. What if she gets pregnant? 4. Did you really think you're going to date a 12 yr old girl when you're 35? Judging from the video, here are the answers: 1. He was trying to convince both. 3. He said he was "just going to make out with her." 4. No, he didn't really think he was going to date a 12 yr old when he was 35. What bugs me is that I don't know the answer is to #2.  Which is stupid.  Look, if CH was to ask one important question that I really wanted answered, it would be #4.  I have to get over it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14FZUc8_rWI Lessons: Here is the tip that I have read in the Globe and Mail life section: Be mindful.  Focus on the present and what's going on in your life right now and not the past.  My counselor agrees with me on that.  She then added that there should be a lesson to what got me angry and to learn from it.  Counselor: You were mad about that time that girl was trying to find out about somebody's identity. Me: Yes, the girl in the religion that doesn't allow her to talk to boys. Counselor: What is the lesson to that? There are so many lessons, and it's not really for me to learn, it's for the girl Erin who's asking to find her.  However, it could be applied to anyone.  I'm going to mention a lot of events that happen in my life, and then the lessons I learned were applied to it. 1. Remember who you are talking to.  In this case, Erin was talking to a teacher, not her friend. 2. Be aware of who's listening.  In this case, she asks this in front of the entire class. 3. Be self-aware.  That can be harder.  In this case, don't be so delusional and think you're so special that you would get to know this and no one else was going to. 4. Know how to get things.  You can either bribe or threaten the teacher to get information.  Or bug and harass the teacher.  In this case, it won't work. 5. Does this have anything to do with you personally?  In this case, Erin has nothing to do with this girl. Foster family: I have applied those lessons.  This is a flashback of 2005.  I was working at Call Centre #1 and I was kind of friends with Gordon.  We were talking about family and he told me he used to live with a foster family. Me: I hope you don't mind my asking, but may I ask why you were put into a foster family?  Like what was with your parents. Gordon: They were just messed up. Me: Oh, okay, you're not going to tell me.  That's fine. We're not really close friends, and I'm not going to push to ask something so personal.  I know it's going to be bad.  It's probably one of the following reasons: child abuse in physical, verbal, sexual; parents addicted to drugs and alcohol, neglectful, prison, poverty, etc.  Him not telling me what it is, is fine.  I wasn't angry or annoyed.  Earlier I mentioned about how I met this girl who worked at this clothing store with me.  She was very open and said her dad was dead in this plain tone of voice.  I guess there could be a possibility that Gordon may say something like: "My mom's dead and I don't have a dad."  I don't know. Work problems: This was a few months ago, and I was talking to one of my friends I've known for years.  She mentioned something about having a problem with somebody at work and that she was stressed out and cried about it.  She said she didn't want to talk about it. Me: That's okay, let's talk about lighter stuff instead. I'm not going to push.  She may be my friend for years, but I don't want to make her cry. Co-workers not working anymore: I had mentioned about at the restaurant, 3 workers were fired and they've been working here for years.  I thought it was restructuring, but it was really for something much worse.  Everybody at work was talking about so that's how I know. Before I knew the reason, I was kind of worried about my job.  Like, if they're going to fire these workers who've been working here for years, what makes me think they're not going to fire me out of the blue?  It does kind of affect me and my job, but I can't ask that question to the boss. Recently at my call centre job, somebody quit.  The boss won't tell us anything for her privacy.  Now I'm kind of bugging about why she's not working here anymore.  I can't ask my boss that question.  I applied those lessons to this situation.  This worker quitting is none of my business.  It has no direct effect on me.  My imagination does act up.  Maybe she got fired.  Or maybe she has an eating disorder and needs to get treatment for it and doesn't want people to know about it.  I don't know. Auto Correct: That reminds me of Damn You Auto Correct.  I heard about it on Jay Leno and he was reading these text messages of miscommunication. Mom: Your brother is adopted. Daughter: What?  Why are you telling me this through text?  Call me. Mom: I mean your brother got accepted into Yale. When I was watching this, the daughter would be mad and has a right to know this.  This is her brother and it seems like her parents were withholding this big information for this long of a time.  It does have an effect on her life and her brother's life if he is adopted. Buffy joke: This reminds me of this line on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy: The whole nine yards.  What does that even mean?  Now that's going to bug me for the rest of the day. Apr. 4: Since I'm at it, I might as well add that friend I used to have in elementary school.  I was in gr.5 and 6 when I was friends with her.  She lived next door and she constantly rang my doorbell everyday and though I'm at home, it doesn't mean that I am available to hang out with her or feel like hanging out with her.  It's like whenever she was bored and wanted to be entertained, she contacts me.  It's like she thought everything revolves around her. I mentioned her before, like how I up and left to Calgary for a few days without telling her.  It was to teach her a lesson that Tracy is not always going to be there for her.  The lesson I learned is that my friends aren't always going to be here for me.  I know everybody has their own schedule and they can't always talk to me when I call.  So I usually leave the same message to all my friends like: "Hi, it's Tracy.  I thought you might be available to talk.  I know it's cold outside and you probably don't want to go out or drive in the winter.  But I hope we can still talk to each other on the phone." This reminds me of a time last Nov.  One time, I was able to talk to my friends Sherry and Sonia in one week.  That's really good.