Jan. 14, 2022: I posted this article on my blog. However, there are 46 comments and I like them and want to post them.
There are quite a lot of comments where people are talking about their elderly parents or grandparents who aren't putting any time and effort in giving away items to friends and family, donating to charity, or recycling them.
This is to all the seniors: Please do the above and not have your family do this.
"Our things, ourselves"/ "Give yourself some breathing space"/ "Saskatoon woman reunited with lost wedding necklace 6 months later"
Apr. 21, 2018 "Give yourself some breathing space": Today I found this article by Lindsay M. Roberts in the Edmonton Journal:
DivineMsM_TX:
My mom's VCR recently died & she asked me to look into getting her another one. Turns out, Amazon doesn't sell new ones (for under $700 for what I found) and she didn't really want a used one. It took her a while, but she reluctantly admitted that she should probably toss the hundreds (yes, hundreds) of tapes she has since she doesn't watch them as much as she used to. She also admitted that neither one of her children would want them... I tried not to do a happy dance as I agreed with her. Next step, the all the boxes of slides...
Scan the slides. Then you can save the pictures on a computer without all of the space. My mom did this with my dad’s slides and now I am doing mine.
Instead of getting rid of my parent's china, I got rid of my everyday pottery. I now have less but enjoy the things that mean something to me.
Scandinavian saying - Less space, less things, more life.
White box . . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTigPEkvjoM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTigPEkvjoM
heehee
(Edited)
When cleaning out, I often tell myself when I get to an iffy-to-keep thing that someone else needs it more, will use it more, and love it more.
Err...what exactly is a capsule wardrobe? Such an ambiguous or inside term (or both!). I'm not a dummy and I read a lot of home decor mags. So if I don't know what you're talking about...
(Edited)
you won't find it in home decor mags. more likely you'll read about it in a fashion mag or a lifestyle mag.
it's a wardrobe that has been reduced to 35 to 40 pieces (including accessories like scarves, coats, gloves, & shoes) that can be mixed & matched to give different looks.
most of the items are classic wardrobe staples. not a lot of trendy items. it's almost uniform like.
it's a wardrobe that has been reduced to 35 to 40 pieces (including accessories like scarves, coats, gloves, & shoes) that can be mixed & matched to give different looks.
most of the items are classic wardrobe staples. not a lot of trendy items. it's almost uniform like.
It amused me that the photo attached to this article shows a blender -- something many don't use anymore, and a SIX burner stove. Didn't feel minimal to me.
Kind if expensive to replace a stove just for the sake of minimalism, no?
Lots of Moms "treasures" ended up in my basement 5 years ago when we moved her to the nursing home. I photographed the items and had her identify them as best she could. Then they were offered first to her children, and then her grandchildren. Mom died recently but everyone who claimed items were able to thank her for them and tell her how they were enjoying them.
Now I'm decluttering my own stuff by giving things away to younger (and poorer) friends who are happy to get lamps, kitchen items, ottomans, prints, etc., etc.
For books, I've been making deposits at the Little Free Library: https://littlefreelibrary.org/
Now I'm decluttering my own stuff by giving things away to younger (and poorer) friends who are happy to get lamps, kitchen items, ottomans, prints, etc., etc.
For books, I've been making deposits at the Little Free Library: https://littlefreelibrary.org/
These are some great tips - thanks. I especially liked the statement about what full looks like
Having moved several times in the past ten years while downsizing, I sadly and reluctantly parted with thousands of books and LP records accumulated over almost 50 years. During the process it occurred to me that future generations will have similar collections in digital form (or whatever is used then) and simply tote their iPad or cell phone from address A to address B.
(Edited)
Just curious: Did you sell the books and LPs? Donate them? Dump them? You're not the only person with too much stuff on their shelves.
Donated most of the books to a local library. Gave the LPs to a friend who said, "My wife will kill me...she thinks I already have too many albums."
Several decades ago we digitized all of our vinyl records (hundreds: both of us came into the marriage with a bunch) and wrote them onto CDs. Took less than a third of the space.
Now, looking toward our next move, we converted the CDs to files that now fit on a thumb drive. Added benefit: we can take ALL of our music with us when we travel, as our car stereo has a USB port.
I hope you made backups of that thumb drive.
I think we're up to at least six, one in the safe deposit box, one in the cloud, one in each computer...
And per your question to "the shadow", we gave the records to a friend with a hearing problem, who finds vinyl much more satisfying than digital. The books are going to the friends of the library sales.
And per your question to "the shadow", we gave the records to a friend with a hearing problem, who finds vinyl much more satisfying than digital. The books are going to the friends of the library sales.
"Let one stand for many".
This. A thousand times this. I'm at the age where I am starting to get handed down these heirlooms. My parents and in-laws are up in the years and while I wish the day when I have to go through their stuff will be decades away, statistically it probably won't be. I am very much a fan of the idea of letting one stand for many. My mother has a teapot collection. I plan to keep my favorite and donate the rest (assuming other family members don't want it). I can remember her as fondly and honor her as deeply with one as with many.
What I won't do is keep all of it, which is what my mother has done with the things she has inherited. Her china cabinet is very full and there is more packed away, and that's after she gave me what was designated for me by my Grandmother (who passed away when I was a teenager). I would love to keep just one of that collection, but to donate or sell it now would break my mother's heart. So I have three pieces on display and the rest is boxed in the crawlspace, never to be used.
This. A thousand times this. I'm at the age where I am starting to get handed down these heirlooms. My parents and in-laws are up in the years and while I wish the day when I have to go through their stuff will be decades away, statistically it probably won't be. I am very much a fan of the idea of letting one stand for many. My mother has a teapot collection. I plan to keep my favorite and donate the rest (assuming other family members don't want it). I can remember her as fondly and honor her as deeply with one as with many.
What I won't do is keep all of it, which is what my mother has done with the things she has inherited. Her china cabinet is very full and there is more packed away, and that's after she gave me what was designated for me by my Grandmother (who passed away when I was a teenager). I would love to keep just one of that collection, but to donate or sell it now would break my mother's heart. So I have three pieces on display and the rest is boxed in the crawlspace, never to be used.
Minimalism is just another way of telling Americans to be satisfied with less because that is what you can expect under our current economic structure. Can you see Donald Trump practicing minimalism or any other member of the 1%?
I thought it was a way to show I could afford 2500 sqft in manhattan and only need to furnish it with a chieftan chair and eames sofa
This? It doesn't even look comfortable.
http://www.dwr.com/living-lounge-chairs/chieftains-chair/6779.html?lang=en_US
La-Z-Boy forever!
http://www.dwr.com/living-lounge-chairs/chieftains-chair/6779.html?lang=en_US
La-Z-Boy forever!
No, but I don't consider the Trump brand of opulence to be particularly tasteful, either.
This kind of minimalism is expensive. It encourages paring possessions to a minimum, which inevitably means buying new things when circumstances change. People overdo on keeping things "just in case," but that doesn't mean that the intuition behind saving things for when they come in handy is wrong.
True. Its difficult sometimes to know where that balance is, that is, keeping some "extra" stuff (that you already own) because you won't have to go and rebuy it when a need arises for it, but not keeping so much that you are bogged down by your possessions.
I think you can find a happy level of minimalism which reduces the risk of getting rid of something you need later. Or, you can decide that the cost of buying it later is worth the space savings, the de-cluttering, the cost in time of keeping it until you do need it.
@ common grackle - I disagree. First, it's less expensive to buy one pair of quality shoes in a neutral color that can be used for exercise and for casual wear than to buy three (or four) pairs of throw-aways for separate functions. It requires more thought and care, though.
As for the "circumstances change" argument, that would depend on the circumstances. Using the shoe example, a change might be taking up a new hobby which requires a specialized shoe. So be it, but if proper consideration is made before purchasing items, most situations can be accommodated. The exception that comes to mind is when our clothes mysteriously shrink...
As for the "circumstances change" argument, that would depend on the circumstances. Using the shoe example, a change might be taking up a new hobby which requires a specialized shoe. So be it, but if proper consideration is made before purchasing items, most situations can be accommodated. The exception that comes to mind is when our clothes mysteriously shrink...
Paring things to a minimum allows one to live in a smaller, cheaper housing arrangement. Since housing is generally one of the biggest expenses of anyone's budget, having to re-buy the 1% of things you get rid of an need again pales in comparison. If you live in a smaller space minimalism is much cheaper.
In this society, its easy to accumulate gobs of cheap trashy stuff. In most articles about struggling folks in red states living in mobile homes, they have piles of "stuff" in some of the pictures. Minimalism seems to be a fashion style of the upper middle class who can afford high prices and lots of storage.
Minimalism is also practiced by some who live in trailers as a way of living less expensively and avoiding shared walls.
Some things are just easier to keep.
I keep working on culling things, but there's a variety of pragmatic issues. Books - I have many old books which are either of sentimental or historical interest, or are not available in a digital form. And yet, what I have is a quarter of what I use to have.
Clothes - Based on how we do laundry, it practical to have enough shirts for 2 weeks. And depending what activity I'm doing, it's either casual shirts or dress shirts. And, depending on time of year it's long sleeve or short. The laundry method can't easily be changed.
Partner - is a collector. He's never happier than when getting a new model from a sci-fi franchise. He has hundreds of items. Who am I to deny him happiness? It's mostly in one room but....
Clothes - Based on how we do laundry, it practical to have enough shirts for 2 weeks. And depending what activity I'm doing, it's either casual shirts or dress shirts. And, depending on time of year it's long sleeve or short. The laundry method can't easily be changed.
Partner - is a collector. He's never happier than when getting a new model from a sci-fi franchise. He has hundreds of items. Who am I to deny him happiness? It's mostly in one room but....
We have been gradually culling as well. I think it frees up both physical and mental space. The house - which is quite small - is less cluttered, and it feels less cluttered. For our books, we've switched to ebooks and only kept valuable, sentimental, or extremely visual books (like graphic novels). That culled it down to 5 bookshelves only in the main part of the house, and 3 bookshelves of reference books in the crawlspace.
For clothes, if something comes in something else has to come out.
"Minimalism" is going to mean different things to different people. My minimal is still more stuff than others, and then others wonder HOW I can POSSIBLY make do with only 6 pairs of shoes.
For clothes, if something comes in something else has to come out.
"Minimalism" is going to mean different things to different people. My minimal is still more stuff than others, and then others wonder HOW I can POSSIBLY make do with only 6 pairs of shoes.
(Edited)
I don’t know how anyone can only have six pairs of shoes.
An 83 y.o. with so, so many "things" and children with no wish to inherit them,
I recommend buying only essentials and accepting no gifts that can't be eaten/drunk.
I am sentimental and it is hard to say good-bye to my "things," but they have become
a burden. It would be lovely if my children wanted them, but they don't have the space
or the taste.
I recommend buying only essentials and accepting no gifts that can't be eaten/drunk.
I am sentimental and it is hard to say good-bye to my "things," but they have become
a burden. It would be lovely if my children wanted them, but they don't have the space
or the taste.
(Edited)
Thank you for recognizing that your children are not automatic caretakers of your things. I'm facing a large, poorly maintained four bedroom house filled to the brim with stuff that I will have to go through once probate clears, and I'm really in a state of anxiety of what to do about it.
I don't have endless time off from work especially after taking time off to care for my parents, and I live in a very small flat in a different, very expensive country, so I can't just take stuff with me to sort out later.
I hate to say it, by my resentment of my parents' refusal to take responsibility for themselves, particularly later in life, or plan ahead is clouding any sentimentality I might have had towards any of their stuff.
Their attitude was very much that it would be my problem, not theirs, and they refused to cooperate with any discussion or attempts to help clear or maintain anything while they were still alive.
Most of it is just crap my mom bought at the dollar store (her favorite outing) and broken things that should have been discarded long ago, all of which I'll have to figure out how to responsiblity discard. I know it sounds callous, but I'm overwhelmed, to be honest.
I understand that it's sad to know your beloved things will not be beloved after you're gone, but they're not you. Your children love you, not your knick knacks or art or whatever. It would be great if you could find a good home for your favorite things yourself, knowing that they will be appreciated even after you're gone.
I understand that it's sad to know your beloved things will not be beloved after you're gone, but they're not you. Your children love you, not your knick knacks or art or whatever. It would be great if you could find a good home for your favorite things yourself, knowing that they will be appreciated even after you're gone.
It's worthwhile to hire someone to come in and take care of that for you, capsfan. The stress of doing it yourself is not worth the possible benefit. Take two or three things that have meaning....let the rest go.
We did that also, with a family member. Helps a great deal and you might break even on the cost of the service or hopefully even come away with some funds after an estate sale.
I agree with wonderfulworld. We did something similar in 2015, when we helped my mother-in-law clean out her brother's place. It was her parent's place before her brother inherited it, so there was 2 generations worth of stuff, and her brother had hoarding tendencies. We spent a weekend selecting what to take home. We ended up with a xerox box full of items (and 3 xerox boxes full of financial documents to start the estate settlement process).
Mother-in-law ended up with a van full to the brim, but that's her choice. Other relatives were free to come during that weekend to get something if they wanted it. We still left behind a house stuffed from basement to attic. We hired a company that would sort trash from treasure, and sell the treasure. It was totally worth the money, especially since this house was out-of-state.
capsfan, I sympathize greatly with you. My husband and I are facing in the future the homes of both sets of parents who refuse to get rid of anything. So some will be easy initially - decades of utility bills, statements etc - GONE, but as for the rest.......Leave it to say that like you, my resentment grows by the day.
It really grows when I am in their home with not a seat to sit in or a place to sit down have a meal because they value the clutter more than relationships
Do you know about 1-800 Got Junk? Take what you want and have them come in for the rest. It's not too expensive.
Nola, if your things have become a burden, why not ask for help in decluttering? Ask a friend or family member over and focus on one small area for a couple of hours, then break for lunch/dinner/tea/whatever to enjoy their company.
Having someone there who is neutral can help you decide what you want to keep for sentimental reasons and what you want to let go.
They can also help you decide where it should go. If children doesn't want them, what about charity? Knowing that someone else can use it makes me feel better about letting things go.
Nola, I appreciate your attitude towards possessions and wish more seniors would recognize the same. Perhaps a routine would help? For example, every day after lunch spend 15 minutes decluttering. Or everyday, pick up 10 objects to throw out or donate? I think with the exception of severely disabled folks, the majority of seniors can do a very small amount every day. It is a shame that most do not and instead just leave it to their heirs to handle.
Jan. 16, 2022 "She saved 200,000 books from the landfill and hopes to find them all a home": Today I found this article by Alexander Behn on CBC news.
This is about Myriam Gaude who gets all these books from 7 thrift stores and tries to sell them. The books would go to the landfill. However, these could be recycled.
Jun. 4, 2022 Different stages of life: In my 20s, I was mainly focusing on my careers:
Tracy's ideal life (as a TV writer & producer, Actor, Office Career) vs. Tracy's real life (Part 1)
Tracy's ideal life vs. Tracy's real life (Part 2)/ "Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life" by Adam Phillips
2012 TV production company job search: I rebooted my TV production company job search. I attended an interview in 2008, and didn't get hired. I decided I will work a regular job at a restaurant in the day and pitch my script to TV production companies in the evenings. I got 2 interviews in 2 months in 2012. I called my friend Angela about this:
Angela: How come you didn't do this sooner?
Tracy: I did. I attended a job interview at a TV production company back in 2008, after I graduated from Professional Writing. I wrote about it on my blog.
It's okay that she and my friends, family, or blog readers will probably not remember that I attended a job interview at a TV production company from 5 yrs ago.
In Dec. 2014, I was sick for 2 days and decided to look for the blog post about that 2008 interview and I couldn't find it. I edited spelling, punctuation, and grammar. In Dec. 2020, I was saving and backing up my blog and I found it:
Dynacor Media:
In May 2008:
job/ drive/ shopping
Tracy's blog: job/ drive/ shopping (badcb.blogspot.com)
This morning I got up at 10am. Since I got a email from Dynacor, I wanted to get his name so I could call them back. I then called and we will have an interview on Fri. He said I could be a production assistant and not only an office assistant. My dream of working at TV production company could be coming true. I also got a email from Media Masters, but he said that they are a production company. They don't produce the film like pay the writer for the script. They only film it. He told me to get an investor and money for the project before I could call them and start filming.
job/ charity/ 27 Dresses
Tracy's blog: job/ charity/ 27 Dresses (badcb.blogspot.com)
May 9: I went to the Dynacor job interview. It was good. They asked that I email my The Fighter script to them and I did. What was interesting was that one of them kind of recognized me because my name sounded familiar. I told her I called her back in 2004 when I was trying to get into Nait's tv program. They don't really have time to train a production assistant, but they will keep my resume on file. She gave me some tips and production companies like Anaid, Reel girls and Panacea Productions. Call Citytv and ask who is in charge of programming.
Jun. 4, 2022: I can hear Angela saying to the seniors: "How come you didn't do this sooner?"
My family: On my dad's side, my grandpa passed away in 2010. Two years later, they really started cleaning out the home because my grandma was moving to a nursing home. They lived in Calgary and I only go there once or twice a year. There were a lot of aunts, uncles, and cousins who lived there. I don't know if they told my grandparents to clean out their home. The home always looked like it was from the 1970s. They never buy anything to own.
In 2021, my grandma on my dad's side passed away. By that time, there weren't a lot of possessions.
They were not in my daily life, and their actions didn't really affect me.
Jun. 6, 2022: My grandma and parents don't buy anything to own. My mom has been really good at cleaning out the home. My dad hasn't as much.
My experience: I don't buy things to own. This year I was rereading and recycling a lot of old physical news articles and some paper.
1. I'm in my 30s so I'm not going to die of old age.
2. I haven't been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
However, you never really know when and how you're going to die.
Table Topics Daily: I wrote about this before. I was asked:
1. What is something you always wanted to do, but haven't done yet?
2. If you were to die in the next 5 yrs, what would you do?
My answers to both questions:
1. Go to Las Vegas.
2. Digitize all my old physical news articles onto my email and blog accounts.
I mainly did #2. I digitized a lot, but then I started rereading and recycling a lot of old physical news articles.
Jul. 10, 2022: I know cleaning isn't really that interesting to do or read about. Maybe some of you are interested in that. I feel good that I accomplished by recycling so much.
This week doesn't have a theme:
Divine Intervention Professional Matchmaking Services (Part 1)
Divine Intervention Professional Matchmaking Services- relationship partners/ reviews (Part 2)
My week:
Aug. 3, 2022 Glenda Rigon's death: My friend Cham emailed me and told me that our old co-worker/ friend Glenda passed away and this news article. I have known Glenda since Nov. 2010 when I worked at the 1st restaurant job. We worked together for years and are Facebook friends. We weren't really in each other's daily lives.
Sarah Mroz's death: This was a long time ago, when I was in gr. 12 and this girl Sarah died in a car accident. In Feb. 2006, if you were friends with me back then, I wrote an individual email to each of my friends. In the first paragraph it mentions Sarah, and then the second paragraph is where I thank each friend for the friendship and the nice qualities that they have.
"MROZ, Sarah Ann On February 7, 2003, Sarah passed away suddenly and tragically four days before her 17th birthday. She will be sadly missed by her father Les David Mroz of Spruce Grove, her mother Marilyn Valens of Edmonton, her sisters Megan and Hannah, and her brother Bryan. She will also be missed by her grandparents Raymond and Valerie Mroz of Spruce Grove, and Ken and Carole Valens of Edmonton, as well as aunts, uncles, cousins and many special friends. Visitation will be held on Thursday, February 13, 2003 from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. at St. Augustine's Anglican Church, 6110 Fulton Road, Edmonton. Funeral Service will be held on Friday, February 14, 2003 at 11:00 a.m. at St. Augustine's Anglican Church. In memory of Sarah, donations may be made to MADD or STARS Air Ambulance. Send condolences to www.glenwoodmemorial.com GLENWOOD 467-3337 Funeral Home, Cemetery, Cremation Ctr."
To Plant Memorial Trees in memory, please visit our Sympathy Store.
My obituary: You don't know this, but I have written my obituary and saved into my email/ blog posts. I was writing a blog post about Sarah, and I decided to write my own.
We all know that you never really know when and how you're going to die. When Sarah passed away, that really cemented that.
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