Oct. 18, 2017 "I've had coffee with someone new everyday for 25 years": Today I found this article by Alex Chepovetsky in the Globe and Mail. I like this article, because it motivates me to network with people.
Alex Chepovetsky is chief digital officer of Havas Canada.
As a quiet teenager who spoke only a few words of English, moving from Ukraine (known at the time as the Soviet Union) to Saskatchewan didn't exactly help build my interpersonal skills.
It was the late 1970s, and while Western culture was new to me, I fell in love the music immediately. Thanks to the Ramones, Led Zeppelin, David Bowie and the Sex Pistols, my English steadily improved, and I eventually worked up enough nerve to get a job as a bartender at the BBop Cafe in Regina.
One might think that I was there to serve drinks, but conversations with people became 90 per cent of what I did. It was not uncommon for waitresses to come to me complaining that I was stealing their tips because customers chose to come directly to the bar. Not only did these conversations help me get phone numbers and party invites, they are also how I ended up moving to Toronto (but that's a story for another time).
I may not have known it, but this was also my first foray into networking. It's something I would continue to do every day for the next 25 years.
I may not have known it, but this was also my first foray into networking. It's something I would continue to do every day for the next 25 years.
What I've learned is that networking is a muscle, and you do get better at it over time. If you had coffee with me in the 1990s and one today, you'd be talking to a completely different person (and that has nothing to do with the length of my hair or outfit choice).
Here's what changed:
You have to actually care
If you don't have a genuine interest in the person that you're meeting, the relationship won't last beyond the last sip of coffee. The key is to find common ground and regardless of age, seniority or background, you have something in common with everyone.
Spend time to learn about their children, hobbies, last vacation or even their favourite restaurant. Ask questions. Naturally, if you ask about others, they'll want to learn about you, too.
And while learning about others is caring, actually caring means you'll remember these details. One time, I had a deep conversation about someone's two children. The next time I ran into them, I asked them if they had children. Don't do that.
Spend time to learn about their children, hobbies, last vacation or even their favourite restaurant. Ask questions. Naturally, if you ask about others, they'll want to learn about you, too.
And while learning about others is caring, actually caring means you'll remember these details. One time, I had a deep conversation about someone's two children. The next time I ran into them, I asked them if they had children. Don't do that.
No one's there for the coffee
Asking for a coffee is non-threatening. And honestly, who says no to a free coffee or tea, hot chocolate or pumpkin-spiced latte? Yet, in my experience, people know that there's a reason behind the coffee and if they've agreed to meet, they've agreed to hear you out.
That doesn't mean that I need to ask them for what I need right away. Before every meeting I make sure that I have an opener, usually something personal, to help break the ice. After, I let the conversation go where it may.
I have found many of my 15-minute coffees about business have turned into 90-minute chats about life. And sometimes those chats become more valuable than what I was looking for in the first place.
If I don't have time to get my original point across because we get lost on tangents, I will add it into my follow-up e-mail by trying to set up another meeting.
I have found many of my 15-minute coffees about business have turned into 90-minute chats about life. And sometimes those chats become more valuable than what I was looking for in the first place.
If I don't have time to get my original point across because we get lost on tangents, I will add it into my follow-up e-mail by trying to set up another meeting.
Also, I have an "ask me anything" policy. While no one has taken me up on it yet by asking a truly out there question, it does set the tone for an open and candid conversation without fear of rejection.
That being said, you likely won't get what you're looking for
Networking isn't meeting someone once – it's a process. It's over a series of many touch points and meaningful conversations that you grow your network.
So if you're looking for an introduction, a new client or a job, remember that it likely won't happen following that first meeting.
Send a follow-up thank you note referencing something you chatted about, send them a relevant article or even invite them to an upcoming event. The point is, make an effort to stay connected.
People are busy, so the onus is on you to be remembered.
So if you're looking for an introduction, a new client or a job, remember that it likely won't happen following that first meeting.
Send a follow-up thank you note referencing something you chatted about, send them a relevant article or even invite them to an upcoming event. The point is, make an effort to stay connected.
People are busy, so the onus is on you to be remembered.
Looking back, I never thought that the lessons I learned as a bartender at BBop would have been as important to my career as those I learned in the classroom. When it comes to networking, not much can beat human interaction.
duali
9 hours ago
All of this is true until someone decides to poison your water and everything else in your life. Don't laugh. It could be you next.
3 Reactions
Vote4Me
5 hours ago
Okay, I didn't laugh.
"Where do all the disgraced CEOs go?": Today I found this article by John Schwartz in the Globe and Mail:
It’s become a ritual of corporate life: Trouble comes, and the chief executive walks the plank. These days, though, so many companies are embroiled in scandals that we need a wider plank.
These frequent dramas usually leave me with questions. Where do these people go after leaving the rarefied atmosphere of the gilded corporate flagships?
After all, they don’t actually drop into an ocean full of sharks. Most of them go on to live long and very well-compensated lives. Which makes me wonder: Is there a way to make money off them?
The first question has been bedeviling me as the list of departing chief executives lengthens. Just consider a few examples.
Richard F. Smith left Equifax in September after the company came under fire for a hack that compromised the personal information of millions of consumers.
Mike Cagney left Social Finance, the student loan company he co-founded, after reports of allegations of sexual harassment and the company’s “frat house” culture emerged.
And then there is the movie mogul, Harvey Weinstein, who was fired by his own company last week after years of allegations of sexual harassment and payoffs to accusers came to light in an investigation published by The New York Times and in a subsequent article in The New Yorker.
He has admitted having “caused a lot of pain,” while denying many of the allegations. Mr. Weinstein also said growing up in the ’60s influenced his behavior, though he’s not that much older than I, and I’ve never done any of the things he’s talked about. And I went to college in Austin!
He has admitted having “caused a lot of pain,” while denying many of the allegations. Mr. Weinstein also said growing up in the ’60s influenced his behavior, though he’s not that much older than I, and I’ve never done any of the things he’s talked about. And I went to college in Austin!
Calls for dismissals of chief executives are everywhere: In a recent hearing, Senator Elizabeth Warren told Timothy J. Sloan of Wells Fargo “you should be fired” over the company’s fake-accounts scandal and more. Harsh! He’s barely been in the job for a year.
His predecessor, John G. Stumpf, resigned just last year. That job’s starting to sound as ill-fated as the role of the drummer in the fictional rock group Spinal Tap.
His predecessor, John G. Stumpf, resigned just last year. That job’s starting to sound as ill-fated as the role of the drummer in the fictional rock group Spinal Tap.
Captains of industry, however, do not spontaneously combust. In fact, they tend to lead long lives, especially since they have enough money for truly fabulous health care. And so, where do they go? And what do they do? None of the people I’ve mentioned would comment for this article, though a spokeswoman for Mr. Weinstein told a Times reporter that “he is taking the time to focus on his family, on getting counseling and rebuilding his life.”
Anodyne answers like that don’t satisfy my curiosity. After all, how much time can they actually spend with their families?
Anodyne answers like that don’t satisfy my curiosity. After all, how much time can they actually spend with their families?
Do they have a club, kind of an ex-bigwig version of the Bada Bing, where they can let their hair down and hang out with friends? That’s probably too downmarket for people with the money for mansions big enough to have their own ZIP codes.
These people can go anywhere, their pockets stuffed full of sweet severance, stock and whatever other remuneration top executives get whether they hold onto the job or not.
They need their own island where they can down overpriced umbrella drinks without having to worry about the rabble asking, “Didn’t you used to be … ?” Islands tend to be hard to travel to, but the execs could drop in with their golden parachutes.
For advice, I called Eric Dezenhall, a crisis management consultant who has witnessed many corporate executions.
“Firing the C.E.O. is now the first item in the crisis management bag of tricks,” he said. “It’s all about the theater of human sacrifice now.”
His work has led him to counsel some of the fallen, some of whom frantically seek ways to get back in the game and salvage their reputations, even when their reputations are beyond repair. You’ve got to feel for folks like that, with nothing but their millions to console them.
Yet Mr. Dezenhall said he didn’t know of any secret island where former top executives while away their days. And not just because it would be a secret island, duh. There doesn’t seem to be one.
That, my friends, is where I cash in on this ex-exec glut.
So here’s my brilliant idea: Let’s build that very exclusive island resort, sparing no expense, at least for our clients. There will be a glorious beach, fine food and wines in a setting that allows sullied chiefs to circulate among their peers and not skulk around. It would be family friendly! I would hire professional actors for the staff, people with such rigorous stage training that they won’t sneer. Not while they’re working.
Come on, Kickstarter it with me! We’ll become as rich as our besmirched clients. With the promise of thick, marbled steak, vintage port and plentiful Havana cigars — and, of course, golf, tennis and fast cars — they would flock to our fantasy island. We’ll give it a really great name, like Last Resort. It will be far, far away.
And then let’s leave them there.
My opinion: It was kind of funny.
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