I'm posting these articles because usually at the end of the year or the beginning of the year, a lot of people are decluttering or organizing their homes. You can do that any time of the year, but it's common to do that now.
It’s now modern – at least for those of us in the overindulged West – to profess a preference for experiences over things. Experiences are widely acknowledged to last a lifetime, while our tendency to acquire is a sort of dirty habit we are supposed to overcome with some restraint, like smoking or eating carbs.
Whether this distaste with the material world has anything to do with the rise of the virtual or digital one, a severe, almost repentant minimalism is so in among millennials that the chronicles of those who have vowed to live with less seem more of-the-moment than shopping guides.
Beyond whatever pleasures there might be in self-denial (if anyone knows, please do share), this kind of thinking misses the point entirely. As those of us who have survived the final disassembly of their parents’ home can fully appreciate, there is a deep-rooted connection between the things acquired over a lifetime, and human experience.
So much so that as we clear the contents of the bedroom or the living room of someone who was central to our lives and is now gone, almost every single thing they have left behind seems to radiate with meaning and memories.
But beyond the grave and final reckoning of our things and our selves, aren’t the triggers to our memories almost always objects? Whether it’s a story of acquisition or discovery, or a sense memory like Proust’s madeleine, our things are like 3-D printouts of our stories. And it is so often the thing above even the thought or idea that starts the reverie of recollection.
Consider the T-shirt you stole from your high-school boyfriend that’s still in the back of your top dresser drawer. The box of mints with the green-and-white striped label that were your grandmother’s favourite. The hand-woven bag you got that time in Mexico, or the worn carpet in the family room that you bought because it always reminds you of your favourite children’s book with its funny animal parade.
Hence nostalgia. The voyeuristic draw of the vitrine, or cabinet of curiosity. The haunting immediacy of a photo collection, or the emotional pull of the keepsake or memento.
Even the notion, from the 12th century French for “to remember, or come to mind,” of the souvenir.
Each of us, it turns out, has a lifelong sideline in the museum business as curators of our own little dioramas of our tastes and aspirations – and, yes, experiences. By collecting, preserving and displaying our precious things we defy our mortality by attempting to live on in memory.
How and why the things that we acquire and surround ourselves with have become the containers of our stories, if not actual expressions of ourselves is something I have attempted to explore in a new memoir about my late mother called What Remains: Object Lessons of Love and Loss.
Each chapter centres on a different thing or object that reminds me of her. Each of these items, which range from silver satin sofas to a pack of Craven “A” cigarettes, I use as a starting point, lens and metaphor to talk about who she was. The first line of the book is that the last word my mother ever said to me was “pearls.”
While this might be a novel approach to memoir, I am hardly a pioneer in looking at material culture in this way. The idea that our possessions have totemic powers is an ancient one.
Early peoples treated their things as meaningful in ritual and rite – some so precious that they planned to take them along in the afterworld by being buried with them. What is the science of anthropology if not an acknowledgment of the importance of objects in human culture?
The archeological dig – an exercise in unearthing memory through possessions – is a search for clues as to how lost cultures lived and what they cared about through what they had and kept and used.
Not only is it very old, its also basic. After “Mommy” or “Daddy”, or something random and domestic like “cat” or “apple,” one of the very first words a young child learns to say aloud is “mine.” And of course they are often inclined to say it with ferocity, as if their very being was at stake. To “have,” at least according to Jean-Paul Sartre, is as essential as the verb, “to be.”
Our things may not literally be us, but they do offer both insight and reflection into what makes each one of us tick. Like it or not, we read every book by its cover, and judge everyone we meet by their shoes.
Which is why we live our lives engaged in a deep and meaningful relationship with both our possessions, and also those of whom we love. This isn’t a sad result of “consumer society”. It is merely human.
Karen von Hahn’s book What Remains is published by House of Anansi Press.
Apr. 21, 2018 "Give yourself some breathing space": Today I found this article by Lindsay M. Roberts in the Edmonton Journal:
There is a method, but no madness, to the type of minimalism espoused by Cary Telander Fortin and Kyle Louise Quilici. The organizing experts and authors of “New Minimalism” argue for something a little more practical than a strict 37-piece clothing wardrobe or a monastic-looking house. “It’s not extreme, not hyper-industrial, not only for single men, but for everyone and looks however you want it to look,” Fortin says.
She and Quilici started developing this more practical take on the less-is-more lifestyle when they met at a yoga retreat in San Francisco in 2011. They discovered they were seeking a slower, calmer life; Fortin wanted to leave her corporate job and learn to live within new means, and Quilici was trying to put sustainability into better practice.
Their mutual passion turned into a blog, the book and, in 2013, a business, also called New Minimalism, that helps clients find their own decluttering way.
Fortin and Quilici are more about ending the cycle of “busy” than creating a perfect house. As Quilici explains: “Minimalism is a tool that you use to uncover what it is you want most in life and to get that space to breathe. It’s not the goal,” but a way of prioritizing “working within the space of 24 hours a day, seven days a week.”
So how does this kinder, gentler method work? The two have some tips.
Before you dig in and sort your shoes, it’s about asking yourself why you are doing it.
“Why is now the right time?
What are you hoping to get from this?
What do you want your space to feel like?” says Fortin, who now lives in Boise, Idaho.
“If you start decluttering before you know the answers, you’ll get lost along the way.” The clients who are clearest on their priorities are usually those going through a transition, she explains, such as an illness, a divorce or a new baby. They’re saying, “I want my stuff to work for me instead of me working for my stuff.”
Have someone with you
“It’s great if you can have a friend with you, rather than a partner who is invested,” Fortin advises. “Find someone who can bag up the stuff, donate, mend . . . and someone who can say, ‘I know you love that, but there’s a hole in the armpit.’ You want someone honest and kind.”
Start with your closet
The best part about beginning with your clothes is that “you don’t have to get buy-in from partners or kids,” Fortin says. “You can lead by example, and it’s a great, clarifying, universal place to start.”
Then go category by category
“We recommend the deep-dive approach,” Quilici says. “You do one category of things so that you’re done. Get back to zero. If you don’t have time to go through all of your clothes in one day, pick one subcategory that you can go through all at once: all jackets and tops. Then you can see the volume of what you have.”
Define what full is
Start with your boundary before you pare down. Say to yourself, “This house is big enough for my family,” and then make your stuff fit in it comfortably. Or say, “This drawer is enough for my socks,” and discard those solo, holey and uncomfortable socks until your sock collection fits comfortably into that drawer. Once you’ve decluttered and you later open a cabinet or closet, enjoy the breathing room and tell yourself this is what full looks like.
Let one stand for many
Clearing out the sentimental items is usually the hardest part of simplifying, so Fortin and Quilici suggest letting one special item stand for a memory or person. If your grandmother collected china, Fortin explains, but you have neither a love of china nor the space to store it, maybe keep a favorite teacup and saucer to remember her by. “You have to think, ‘My grandmother isn’t in this china,’ ” she says.
Fewer things can mean better things
“You have to have durable, well-made things if you want to rely on two pairs of jeans and you wear them every day. There’s a little bit of an investment there,” Quilici says. In the long run, though, she and Fortin say they hope for a philosophical shift in thankfulness and appreciating what we have. “We’re coming from a place of gratitude,” she says. “It’s a privileged conversation.”
Be a grateful gift receiver
Once you’ve simplified your possessions, it’s okay to tell people about your preferences for gifts for you or your kids, but it’s still important to be gracious. Allow gift receiving to be a “beautiful exchange of energy,” Fortin says, “and then if you use the toy later, great, but if you don’t, you can let it go.”
It won't all look the same
After reducing your possessions and schedules to a comfortable place, it’s time to redecorate, move furniture around, position mementos as art, etc. Don’t worry about your minimalism looking like someone else’s or any magazine’s. As Fortin and Quilici write in their book, “Let your freak flag fly.” This is your minimalism, and it can look boho, funky, uncool or very cool.
Minimalism is really about time
“We work with a lot of families where both parents work,” Quilici says. “If you want to know someone who knows how precious time is, it’s those families.” Think about what you would rather spend your time on than hunting for something in a drawer or organizing on the weekends. This motivation will help you get started, do the deep dive and then commit to the maintenance.
There are 46 comments about people and their decluttering experiences. There are a lot about donating and giving furniture and kitchen items to younger and poorer friends who would need and use this.
The other blog posts are:
"Office-less companies risk alienating Gen Z"/ "Over half of remote workers would consider quitting before returning to office, poll finds"
"Google employees who opt to work from home may earn less than they did before"/ "These people were able to take their big-city salaries to more affordable towns
My week:
Meetups:
Jan. 9, 2022 Camille Virginia: Meet People, Your Match in Real Life: I went to this online presentation last week. She is the author of The Offline Dating Method. I wrote notes:
Ask questions like casual and contextual. If you are at the grocery store and he's holding a box of granola bars, ask: "What kind of granola bars do you like?"
My opinion: This was very good and helpful for anyone who wants to meet new people. After I watched this, I was in a good mood. This was like those dating videos I watch on those free online series.
2022: Practices for higher living: I went to this online presentation yesterday. This was like those self- development videos I watch:
"The new year offers us an opportunity to reflect on our path, align with our higher calling, and set conscious intentions for growth. Since all of existence is Primal Energy, this is also the time to examine how we use the energetic structures in our life - our time, focus, and relations with self and others.
To make this year the best year ever, we will focus on the following core practices:
1. Eliminate toxicity from our lives
2. Reclaim our physical and mental resources for a higher purpose
3. Align with Joy
4. Cultivate awareness of how we create our reality
This is a free webinar organized by Children of Infinity, a non-commercial, non-denominational organization dedicated to serving those who seek higher truths."
To make this year the best year ever, we will focus on the following core practices:
1. Eliminate toxicity from our lives
2. Reclaim our physical and mental resources for a higher purpose
3. Align with Joy
4. Cultivate awareness of how we create our reality
This is a free webinar organized by Children of Infinity, a non-commercial, non-denominational organization dedicated to serving those who seek higher truths."
My opinion: This was good and all, but I already know and do everything that was said there like:
Cut down on consuming the news: You can limit to 5 min. a day. Set a timer.
Go on a social media detox like: 30 days off from Facebook.
Meditate
Read more instead of watch TV.
It's ok to watch TV sometimes.
Jan. 11, 2022 Edmonton Toastmasters Clubs: There are a lot of these. There was one that I spontaneously entered in an online meeting. The other 2 above were presentations. This one I actually interacted.
"Do you want to meet some new people while improving your ability to think on your feet?
Come join us for a free and quick practice session every night at 8 pm MST!
How it works:
- Each person prepares 2-3 questions about any topic and can be directed to anybody they want.
- Each person answers 2-3 questions so there's ample opportunity to practice.
- Everyone will keep track of their own time so please have a timer ready for the meeting. Please try to keep each table topic response to 2 minutes max.
- Duration would be about 30 minutes for each meeting, but can be flexible.
- If you want any feedback on particular areas for improvement, please let the group know at the beginning of the table topic session."
Come join us for a free and quick practice session every night at 8 pm MST!
How it works:
- Each person prepares 2-3 questions about any topic and can be directed to anybody they want.
- Each person answers 2-3 questions so there's ample opportunity to practice.
- Everyone will keep track of their own time so please have a timer ready for the meeting. Please try to keep each table topic response to 2 minutes max.
- Duration would be about 30 minutes for each meeting, but can be flexible.
- If you want any feedback on particular areas for improvement, please let the group know at the beginning of the table topic session."
My opinion: I went to the one on Sun. and on Mon. night. I wrote a bit, but I should ask for the organizer's permission to write about their responses to my questions.
I can write here about what questions I asked:
Which is worse? A teen girl who gets pregnant by accident or on purpose?
Do you have a driver's license and was it hard to get?
A weird coincidence that I asked you that driver's license question to a professional driver.
I got asked: "Why did you join this Meetup group?"
Tracy: Well, it was kind of spontaneous. I came in last night late. This is online so it's easy to get to. I'm curious and inquisitive, and I ask questions. I like to know about people's opinions, point-of-views on the news/ current events and TV shows and movies. This is kind of fun and interesting so you don't know who is going to get asked next and what question will be asked.
I told them the night before that I was trying to get my TV script produced. The next night I was asked what The Vertex Fighter was about. I gave them this and the links to both my blogs:
"The Vertex Fighter is about a young man named Shawn Stiller who is trying to escape his criminal ridden past and start a new life in a new city. A chance meeting with a stranger proves that the task will be difficult when he is offered a job as an illegal cage fighter. Shawn takes the opportunity to make thousands of dollars a week, but at what price?"
Dec. 27, 2021 "Waning protection from 2 doses shows need for COVID-19 boosters, says head of Ontario's science table": Today I found this article on CBC news:
Protection provided by COVID-19 vaccines against infection by the novel coronavirus has waned dramatically since the highly infectious Omicron variant started spreading across Ontario, according to data from the province's Science Advisory Table.
The data shows that while having two doses does protect against severe illness among those who contract the virus, its ability to prevent infection altogether is plummeting, said Dr. Peter Jüni, the group's scientific director.
Vaccine protection has fallen to 14.9 per cent — from nearly 90 per cent a month ago — for people who have received two doses, according to the data.
"Vaccine protection against infection is melting like snow under the sun," Jüni said in an interview on CBC News Network. "Omicron is evading the immune system.
"In reality, there is no way — if it comes to infection — to distinguish anymore between a person who is not vaccinated and a person who has received two doses."
Jan. 11, 2022 My opinion: I am fully vaccinated. I wasn't going to get my booster shot until my big sister S said so and I read the above article. Last week, my parents wanted to get the booster shot too. I called one Shoppers Drug Mart and they didn't have them, so I called another one and they said they had enough for us. We went there the same day.
Jan. 10, 2022 "Saskatoon woman reunited with lost wedding necklace 6 months later": This is a happy story:
It's been weeks since Christmas, but one Saskatoon woman is still in awe of a special gift she received over the holidays.
Last June, LeeAnne Benjamin lost her 20-year-old wedding necklace — a thaali, as it's known in Indian culture — which was gifted to her by her late mother-in-law.
"We could easily replace it with another piece of gold — but we could not replace it with one that she had chosen with me, that she had touched and placed around my neck," Benjamin said. "It was irreplaceable."
Having dealt with the deaths of her mother-in-law and father just months apart last year, Benjamin said losing her thaali compounded the feelings of grief for her and her husband.
"It was just this symbol of the loss that we were going through," she explained.
For months, Benjamin and her husband retraced her steps, putting up notes around the city and on social media, garnering help from the community along the way. But they still came up short.
"We kind of gradually accepted the fact that we were not going to get this back," she said. "I thought, 'Life goes on. We're happy, we're healthy — move on.'"
They met up and the woman gave back the thaali. Benjamin's husband promised to return the favour to the single mother with a food and toy hamper for her family — something Benjamin unknowingly helped put together.
At that point, her husband explained what had happened and told her they had a special delivery to make to the woman and her children.
"It was just this really beautiful moment where we could give her these Christmas gifts, but at the same time, she gave us back so much more than that," Benjamin said. "It was just this beautiful symbol that there is hope."
Saskatoon woman reunited with lost wedding necklace 6 months later | CBC News
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