pregnant at 11/ friend advice

Feb. 20: I’ve told you this before.  I only watch Dr. Phil if it’s about teen pregnancy.

Pregnant at 11: On Dec. 27, 2013 I saw that the episode was about a girl named Hope and she got pregnant at 11.  I had to watch it.  I’m gong to tell you about it and then give you my opinion.

Hope is 11 yrs old.  Her mom Lisa says she hasn’t even gotten her period yet.  (She must have if she got pregnant.)  Lisa didn’t know Hope was pregnant until she saw that her stomach was sticking out a bit.  She was shocked to find out she was pregnant at 6 months.

Bailey is the 13 yr old boy who gathered the baby Ashlynn.  The baby is raised by Lisa’s sister.  CPS put the baby there.

A lot of people are talking about Lisa condones the pregnancy.

Lisa: I told Hope the sex talk and she was embarrassed.

Bailey’s mom Sharon: I gave the talk to Bailey and he was like “Ew.”

Hope was hemorrhaging, rushed to the hospital.  She gave birth within 25 min when she was there.

Kailyn (fiancé/ step mom to Bailey’s dad): Hope almost died.

Bailey’s dad is Rod.

Hope’s dad is Mark.

The question is where did they have sex?  Possibly under the bridge or at a skate park.

Kailyn: Hope is boy crazy.

Lisa: She grabbed a boy’s butt at the dance.

Jennifer Berman from the TV talk show The Doctors was on.  She went to Boston med school and UCLA.  She talks about girls who give birth at this young of an age are more likely to have premature labor, deliver mostly through c-section because they can’t push it naturally.  

Ashlynn was born prematurely, 2 pounds and 2 ounces.

Bailey’s parents Sharon and Rod can only see the baby 10-15 min. at a time.

Lisa: I want my sister to raise Ashlynn.  My sister is a mom and married.  Ashlynn will be the kid.

Lisa: Hope is out of control.  She assaults people, she will scream and yell to get what she wants.

The show mentions it takes $250,000 to raise a kid 0-18 yrs old.

Dr. Phil then talks to Hope and Bailey backstage.  They don’t show the kids’ faces.

Hope: I slept with him after a year.  I had sex with him 6 times.

Bailey: People at school call me Baby Daddy.  Sometimes people say it to be funny, or to be mean.

Dr. Phil: Did you use protection?

Kids: No.

Dr. Phil: Were you happy when you found out you were pregnant?

Hope: No, I was scared.

Hope doesn’t want to have another baby.  They’re not dating because they don’t like each other.

Hope’s dad Mark cries: I let Hope down.  I wasn’t there for her and she is the way she is partly because of me.

Bailey’s parents: Bailey is good at math and numbers and can put a motor together.  He could be autistic or have a learning disability.

Dr. Phil arranged a team of experts to work with Hope.  They will take Hope out of her home and put her into a centre called the Centre of Discovery.  The audience applauds.  After the show Hope is crying and saying she doesn’t want to go to it.  She is brought to the car and driven away.

My opinion: As soon as I saw that “Pregnant at 11” title, I was compelled to watch.  I was kind of surprised the girl actually had the kid.  If she knew she was pregnant earlier like within the first 3 months of pregnancy, and told her mom, then they probably would have gotten an abortion.

This reminds me of Jenny Jones show with the out of control 13 yr old girl.

Jones: So you got pregnant when you were 13?

Girl: Yeah.

Jones: And you got an abortion?

Girl: Yeah. 

At least the girl on Jenny Jones was smart enough to have an abortion.  Hope will probably get help at the centre.  I also hope the parents of both kids get counseling if they need it.

Onto Bailey: When he said kids at school call him Baby Daddy, I thought: “What a fitting name.”  If I was in jr. high school, and a 13 yr old boy had a kid, I would have thought “Baby Daddy.”  Most of the time when a girl gets pregnant, there is stigma.  In his case, there’s a stigma too.

Mar. 18 Friend advice: I was thinking about this old advice column by Ed the Sock from Much Music.  He was a sock puppet and he was giving advice to teens. 

One teen girl wrote this: “I am friends with this cool and fun girl, but whenever we make plans to do something, she doesn’t confirm with me until the very last minute, in case someone else invites her to do something more fun.  How do I get her to confirm plans with me?”

Ed the Sock: Stop making plans with her.  You will never be a first choice to her.

My opinion: That reminds me of an a manners quiz in a teen magazine.  It was:

Guy #1 asks you out to go rollerblading with him on Saturday.  You say yes, and then Guy #2 comes and he asks you to go to a movie with him on Saturday.  You would rather go with Guy #2.  You:

1. Go with Guy #1.
2. Go with Guy #2.

The correct answer is to go to Guy #1 because you already made plans with him.  If you start breaking plans with people and people find out, then you will start getting less invites.

When I first read the teen girl question, I immediately thought of the manners quiz.  It’s not like the friend is totally rude because she doesn’t confirm plans with you.  What would be rude is if she confirms it with you, and then she breaks them when she would rather do something else with someone else.

Though I’m sure a lot of you guys may be thinking: “That girl is so rude that she wouldn’t confirm plans with you until the last minute in case something more fun comes along.”

When I read the advice column, I was a teen and the above opinion was that the girl wasn’t totally rude.  Now that I’m 28 yrs old, I’m thinking this girl is kind of mediocre friend.  She is somebody you call to have fun with, but not have a real connection with.  That’s fine.  It’s one of those take it or leave it situations.  You can lower your expectations of her.

If you have low expectations of people and things, you are less likely to be disappointed.  There are times I want to spend time with a friend, but they don’t agree with the activity I want to do.  Remember how I mentioned about I invited my friend Sonia to the scary movie Pulse?  She doesn’t want to see scary movies, so she turned it down.

I remember this time way back in 2006, I was calling all my friends to go to Capital Ex/ Klondike days with me.  My friend Angela says yes, but I would have to pick her up at her work.  I didn’t know how to get there.  So we didn’t go together.

It was in 2010 when I started learning how to use Google Maps and the ETS to go to all these job interviews.  Now I can see how easy it is to go to her work.  Take a bus and an LRT.