writer rant/ Do No Harm/ jokes

Feb. 9 Writer rant: The EPL Writer in Residence Omar Mouallem said my Rain script was kind of predictable and the dialogue needed work.  I'm not mad about that, because lots of writers and producers have read it, and they all said that. I guess I'm kind of mad, because Omar said I should start over.  Okay, I can take criticism, no problem.  I guess I have to write about it, to get over it.  Let's get to the bottom of this.  He said "start over" and I don't feel like I should have to start over.  I have done so many changes and rewrites at the beginning of the script.  In a period of 4 yrs, I would say this is the best 43 pages. He should take a look at all the changes I made.  I mentioned it before in my other emails/ blog posts of: how the bad guys were supposed to be introduced the next day.  Then I decided to make it sooner, like that night.  This was in 2010. In 2011, the EPL Writer in Residence Marty Chan read it, and said that first morning scene seemed arbitrary.  So I rewrote it, to straight to the night scene. Feb. 13 Do No Harm: This show is like the modern version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  It's about a doctor by day Dr. Jason Cole, and by night he becomes Ian Price.  I saw the first two episodes and I thought it was really good.  Today I read in the Globe and Mail's article by John Doyle that the show got cancelled.  Here's some more info about it: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/nbc-cancels-do-no-harm-417513 Me: What?  It got cancelled?  What about Elementary?  That show is the modern version of Sherlock Holmes and it came out in the fall.  It's doing well.  I only saw the pilot of that show, but I thought it was good. I read the rest of the linked article, and it's not about old characters from novels being brought into modern times, it's about "dual- universe dramas": "Do No Harm continues the broadcast networks' struggles with dual-universe dramas. Despite positive reviews, NBC canceled underperformer Awake after one season, and Fox axed Lone Star after two episodes. In 2008, NBC canceled Christian Slater's split-personality series My Own Worst Enemy after a handful of airings." Writing article: I was checking up on The Golden Vanguard.  Their website was being remade and now I'm on the staff page. I read the article "5 Ways You're Limiting Your Writing" by Jessica McHugh. 1. Ignoring your issues. 2. Writing is an ART, not a business. 3. Going against your gut. 4. Ignoring feedback. 5. Copying your favorite story. http://thegoldenvanguard.ca/2013/02/10/5-ways-youre-limiting-your-writing/comment-page-1/#comment-103 I then left a comment at the end of the article: "Hi, I really like your article.  Good advice and I already have taken some of it before like the line 'Trust your gut, and don’t be afraid to cut. But don’t throw those chunks away. Save them–for years, if need be. Just because you drop fat from one story doesn’t mean it won’t be the meat of another.'  (#3 tip).  That happens a lot to me.  I write a scene and then think: "I like it, but it doesn't fit in this story" and I save it for another story. I'm going to mention your article on my blog." Feb. 17 Jokes: I've been under a lot of stress lately because I've been working a lot of hours.  Here's a way to unwind by laughing.  I got these jokes from Daily Silly: "If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?" Me: I never thought of it that way. "Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: 'We are the proud parents of a child who's self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.'" "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY and they meet at the bar." Me: That has angry tone of voice. "What do you call a duck in a box? Quackers." Me: I thought that was kind of cute and funny.  It's a simple joke. Laughing about death: "I hate it when old people poke me at wedding and say 'You're next!' So I have started doing the same thing at funerals." Me: That's pretty dark. Feb. 18 Dog jokes: I got this from Daily Silly. Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could draw. His dogs name was "T-Square", and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle and a triangle, which he did with no sweat. The accountant said he thought his dog, "Balance", could do better. He told him to fetch a dozen cookies and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem. The chemist said that was a very good stunt, but that his dog, "Apothecary", could do better yet. He told his dog to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. Apothecary did this without a hitch. All three men agreed their dogs were equally smart. They turned to the Civil Servant and asked him what his dog could do. The Civil Servant called his dog, whose name was "Coffee break", and said, "Show the fellows what you can do, old buddy." Coffee Break then strolled over and ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, screwed the other three dogs and claimed he injured his back while doing so. He then filed a grievance for unsafe conditions, applied for Workers Compensation, and left for home on sick leave. Me: I would call this a dog joke, and also a job joke.  I thought it was creative. Here's another one: Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "Whats your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "Thats a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus." Me: Good story with a plot twist. Cop joke: A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop. After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didnt stop, he just slowed down a little. The gentleman said "Stop or slow down, whats the difference?" The cop pulled the guy out of the car and hit him with a nightstick for about a minute and then said, "Would you like for me to stop or just slow down?" Me: I think when real cops reads this, they will say: "I should use that the next time I pull someone over." Die Hard: Alex Hillsberg sent me this fun infographic called "5 Reasons Die Hard 5 will Earn Hard Cash."  I will always associate this movie to The Simpsons joke.  The FBI are looking for Homer's mom Mona so they go through Homer's mail. FBI agent: People write to movie stars, but he (Homer) writes to movies.  "Dear Die Hard: You rock." According to the infographic, Frank Sinatra was offered this part.  Bruce Willis was the 6th person this part was offered to after Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Harrison Ford, Richard Gere, and Mel Gibson.  http://financesonline.com/infographic-5-reasons-die-hard-5-will-earn-hard-cash/