Mar. 2 Jokes: I got this from Facebook. It's by Progressive Liberitarinism. There's a pic of Stephen Colbert.
"Contraception leads to more babies born out of wedlock. The exact same way that fire extinguisher causes fires."
I said: lol.
I got this from Daily Silly:
"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy."
Mar. 4 Hotel/ dog joke: I got this from Daily Silly. If you work at a hotel or like dogs, you might like this joke.
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you re welcome to stay here, too."
Stupid criminals: I got this from Daily Silly. I then looked it up on the internet to see if it's real. I then found other sites like www.funny.com and www.laughbreak.com that has the same joke.
Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
Me: I guess I don't totally believe it's real if there's no actual name. Also shouldn't the man just say to the clerk: "Put the bottle of scotch in the bag or I'll shoot you." Then shoot some warning shot at the wall and the clerk will most likely jump and give it to him.
Comedy comparisons:
A character thinks someone's going to commit suicide, but they really aren't: In the vampire show True Blood, Tara enters and sees Sookie's head stuck in the oven.
Tara: Sookie, no!
Tara pulls Sookie out and Sookie's wearing a mask, and rubber gloves with a sponge. She's cleaning her oven.
It was done in the other vampire show Angel years before. Angel was rolling a pencil on his desk, and his friends Doyle and Cordelia are talking about how they're worried about him. Angel pulls out a stake.
Doyle and Cordelia burst in.
Doyle: Angel, don't! It's not worth it!
Angel: My desk was wobbly and I need to even it out.
Angel puts the stake on one of the desk legs.
Mar. 7: I was watching Once Upon a Time's episode "Dreamy." There was a scene where Leroy gets on top of a ledge.
Miss. Blanchard: No, don't!
Leroy: I wasn't going to jump.
Mar. 5 Good joke: I got this from Daily Silly and I like it.
Whenever I fill out an, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
Me: lol. I noticed the joke was missing "Whenever I fill out an..." A what? A job application?
Crazy fight: Yesterday I was working and there was a fight outside my restaurant. 2 guys were fighting and I yelled to them: "I'm calling security!" My co-worker told me what to dial. I called security and they were there right away.
Remember that Pepsi Max commercial I ranted about earlier? If you hear or see a fight going on, call security and I did.
Crazy site: Today I was on my online dating site. I don't surf, you can just have the site on. So then I clicked on a few photos and then I was like: "Oh my God! That's one of my managers at work."
I have seen a guy I used to go to high school with on the site and emailed him. He emailed back. I am not going to email this manager. I read his profile and it seemed normal. Then I went and looked at my profile so it would still seem normal and/ or professional if he finds my page.
I list interests and TV shows and movies I like. I was right by guessing I was one yr off in his age. Then I thought: "Does he know how old I am? I know I look young."
Facebook: I'm sure all of you guys know about looking professional online like Facebook. Overall, don't put anything sexual up.
Mar. 6: Then I kind of got paranoid today. What if the manager knew that I viewed his profile? The site could send him something. Well I'm not going to tell my co-workers about it.
Dream: Maybe this is the law of attraction. Yesterday I dreamed I got a call on my cell phone and he wanted to speak to my brother or Nick Lachey. (NL was in the boy band 98 Degrees, was married to Jessica Simpson and was on the reality TV show called Newlyweds.) I wasn't a fan of NL.
In the dream, I told my brother and he said he got the call on his cell phone too. Then today I read in the newspaper that NL and his 2nd wife Vanessa Minnillo are expecting a baby. That was weird that I dreamed about NL and he's in the news.
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