Aug. 30 Post Secret: Here are some secrets from Post Secret.
"I'm afraid my church won't ordain me if I go to rehab for depression but I'm afraid I'll take my life if I don't. I shouldn't have to choose between my calling and MY LIFE.:
Email: I am a 31 year old ordained non-denominational minister. Last winter I went to a 30 day inpatient facility for grief and suicidal thoughts. I found God there more than I did at the church that ordained me. Go.
"Sometimes I think this is heaven and we just don't realize it."
"I can't wait for the day we are 90 yrs old, dieing in the hospital together either from overeating or indoor tanning too much. I'll love you till the end."
"I made my therapist cry."
"After months of depression and suicidal thoughts I am finally happy again. Don't give up!"
"I'm 49 and still waiting for my life to begin."
Me: What are you waiting for exactly? Do something about it.
"No one knows I'm not returning to my job after summer vacation."
Me: That sounds very freeing. Just don't show up.
"When I am really desperate I remind myself: I'm a good person."
Names: This is a Post Secret: "I can't help but judge when people with people give their kids stupid- ass self- involved made up names." The names were: Diezel, Rumer, Blaze, Neveah, Cinsere."
Tweet:
I always assume that children named Neveah will grow up to be strippers.
Email:
I always assume those who judge 'made-up' names, haven't thought about the fact that at some point in history, their name was 'made-up' too.
Email:
"Nevaeh" is heaven spelled backwards. I find it hard to believe children with such a name could grow up to be strippers.
Email:
I feel as though some of the email comments regarding the "made-up names" postcard are critical of the postcard author. PostSecret is supposed to be a place where we can unburden ourselves, and nobody can do that if they think they might get "called out" for expressing their inner secrets.
Me: This has been discussed on 16 and Pregnant thread on twop.com. There aren't really any "made up names" and Neveah being a stripper name.
Aug. 31 Family joke: I got this from Daily Silly. It's a little dark, but I thought it was kind of funny.
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"
Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn't really your dad."
Adoption jokes: I was thinking about Buffy again, but this time she says to Cordelia:
Buffy: You don't know anything about sharing because you're an only child. Why? Because your brother's adopted.
Not really funny, and I wrote that joke.
I got a flashback of 2007 when I was working at a cafe and talking to my manager Aziz who's married and has a kid.
Me: Have you ever thought of adopting?
Aziz: No, because you know the kid is not really yours.
Me: Well look at Angelina Jolie. She adopts lots of kids.
Aziz: Yeah, well she can afford to hire 10 nannies to take care of all of them.
Sept. 2 Director joke: I was watching Glee's Valentine's Day ep way back in Feb. I see that Tate Donovan directed the ep called "Silly Love Songs." TD played Marissa's dad on The OC. He went from acting to directing.
That reminds me of the joke on The Simpsons where Homer bowls a perfect score and goes on Springfield Squares which is a parody of Hollywood Squares.
Ron Howard: Why did you think I went from acting to directing?
Homer: I don't know. Because you weren't cute anymore.
Disco Stu (contestant): I agree.
Kent Brockman (host): You're right, good night everybody!
Script pitch: Today I pitched my Rain script to Panacea Entertainment. I hope I get a reply back and they will read my script.
Headlines:
Stupid criminals:
I got this from the Globe and Mail. According to Orange News U.K., a 61 yr old man forgot to bring a bag to rob a bank. Thus, he left empty- handed on a bicycle. The cashier said she didn't have a bag and activated the alarm. The police arrested him 7 min. later.
Police in New Hampshire captured a woman who robbed a pharmacy. A motorist saw the woman running into her car with the license plate "B-USHER" and caught Bonnie Usher quickly.
In Grants Pass Daily Courier, a woman robbed a Umpqua Bank and then rode off in a car driven by a man. She then picked up her daughters from elementary school. They got home and the police were there and was arrested.
Stupid: Also from the G&M. British town councils have gotten these questions from the public, (reported from a survey):
-A woman asked her council ask if a car park was haunted because her car had "moved to another parking space when she went shopping.
-A person asked what the plot of was to She Stoops to Conquer, an 18th century play.
-A person complained to Surrey Council that the phone number to the library didn't work. He was told that "0900-1800" was the opening hours.
Smart: A 6 yr old boy in Missouri saw a road sign that said there was one single curve ahead, when there were many. He wrote to highway administrators. They called him back and said he was right and they will change the sign. -Associated Press
I got this from 24, where "Naked Man chases down Thief." An Australian man Ryan Dein saw a man in his home stealing his laptop, wallet, and camera. Dein was naked and he chased him and tackled him down and got his stuff. He let the thief go, but he dropped his wallet. The police arrested a 22 yr old Ballina, New South Wales man.
Parents: I got this from the Edmonton Journal. What if your daughter is going to leave the country to marry a foreigner you don't like? What would you do? In Russia, a mother called the airport and told them that her daughter is a suicide bomber and that they have to stop her at the Domodedovo Airport. This is from the RIA Novosti news agency.
The mom is arrested for making a false terror report. I thought that was extreme on the mom, but in a way it was kind of creative I could use for my storytelling. I have talked about "overreacting to situations" like on MADtv where a woman falsely accuses her neighbor of hitting her children because some of her leaves were blown onto her yard.
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