Thursday, June 14, 2018

"Friends are good for your health"

May 26, 2016 "More and more research shows that friends are good for your health": I found this article by Emily Sohn in the Edmonton Journal:


Overwhelmed recently by the stress of an impending move — along with the usual demands of a busy life — I turned to the people I love.



In small chunks of time between tasks on my to-do list, I called and texted with my sister, my parents, local friends and old friends scattered around the country. Some conversations turned my stress into laughter. Others made me cry. One friend came over to clean out my closet. Then she took our kids for four hours so we could pack without interruption.



With each hug, conversation and gesture of support, I started to feel better. As it turns out, those feelings may be paying long-term dividends, too: According to accumulating evidence, strong relationships breed better health, with benefits that include resilience against heart disease and a longer life.



It’s encouraging research that’s worth paying attention to. When life gets hectic, making time for friends can be a challenge. And some studies suggest that many of us have fewer friends today than our parents did a generation ago.

Those obstacles make prioritizing relationships all the more important, experts say.

“A good friendship is a wonderful antidepressant,” says psychologist Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, director of the Institute for Behavioral Medicine Research at the Ohio State University College of Medicine in Columbus. “Relationships are so powerful, we don’t always appreciate the many levels at which they affect us.”

Ever since researchers began to make links between loneliness and poor health about 25 years ago, the scientific literature on the value of friendship has exploded. Today, the data make a convincing case: Having people who care about us is good for us.

In a 2010 meta-analysis that combined data on more than 308,000 people across 148 studies, for example, researchers found a strong connection between social relationships and life span. The size of the effect rivaled that of better-known health-related behaviors such as smoking and exercise.

Because the studies used different methods, the analysis couldn’t say exactly how many more years of life we might gain by having true pals, says lead author Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychologist at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah.


But in a 2015 analysis that compiled data on more than 3.4 million people across 70 studies, she and colleagues found that the absence of social connections carried the same health risk as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. Loneliness led to worse outcomes than obesity. And the findings held true for people of all ages.



Early on, it seemed possible that healthier people might simply make more friends. But a growing body of research suggests instead that good relationships actually lead to better health. 



One clue comes from studies that begin with a large group of healthy people and follow them for decades. Experimental work on animals has also linked isolation with earlier death.



And plenty of studies have revealed biological theories that may explain what makes us healthier when we feel supported: lower blood pressure, better hormone function, stronger immune systems and possibly lower levels of inflammation.

Meanwhile, friends can influence health-related behaviors through peer pressure that values healthy eating, exercise taking prescriptions and going to doctor’s appointments, Holt-Lundstad adds. True friendships can also give us a sense of purpose, making us more motivated to take care of ourselves.

But even as evidence piles up to support the value of bonding, the nature of friendship seems to be changing, says Glenn Sparks, a communications professor at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind., who studies how media affect people. 

One reason is that people move more frequently than they used to. And for many people, a focus on display screens has replaced a focus on faces.

Sparks remembers arriving at Purdue in 1986 and marveling at a stretch of sidewalk on campus dubbed the “Hello Walk.” The point was to smile and say hello to the people you passed there, and that’s what students did.

“Today, you walk down that sidewalk and people are starting at their iPhones and iPads and in some cases even their laptops,” says Sparks, co-author of “Refrigerator Rights: Creating Connections and Restoring Relationships.” “Their ear buds are in and they’re gone into some virtual space. We think that really takes a toll on the relational health of any community.”

Technology isn’t necessarily all bad, he adds. Facebook and Skype can help keep people connected from afar, and science hasn’t yet caught up with the nuanced ways that digital devices might alter relationships. But a confluence of factors seems to be threatening the potential for connection.

According to a long-term study published in 2006, people had an average of about three friends they felt they could discuss important things with in 1984. By 2005, the average number of confidants had dropped to about two. At the end of the study, close to 25 percent of respondents said they didn’t have anyone they could truly trust, triple the proportion from two decades earlier.

More recently, a 2010 study by AARP surveyed more than 3,000 people age 45 and older and found that 35 percent scored in the lonely category. Another survey, published this year by researchers at the University of Oxford, included more than 3,300 British people and found that, even though respondents averaged 155 Facebook connections, the number they felt they could approach in times of extreme distress was just four.

It’s not necessarily important to have a lot of friends, though some studies suggest that more might be better than fewer. The AARP survey found that loneliness rates were highest in people who had fewer than three close friends, and having five or more was better than having three or four.

What is clear is that quality trumps quantity. Just as strong relationships can improve health measures, toxic or stressful relationships can lead to depression, high blood pressure and other negative outcomes.

In one recent study, Kiecolt-Glaser and colleagues asked married couples to discuss something they disagreed about. Over the next day, pairs that both included someone with a history of depression and had argued with hostility burned fewer calories than did those who talked to each other with more kindness. That suggests that relationship quality can affect metabolism.

So how can we cultivate more and stronger relationships? Science can’t yet say. Studies that have randomly assigned patients in hospitals to be part of a support group or have sent visitors to sit with lonely people have produced mixed results, probably because of chemistry: There’s no guarantee that two people will click.



A better strategy, Hold-Lundstad suspects, is to try volunteering or joining activities that allow for interaction with a wide variety of people. It’s also worth making a conscious effort to be the kind of friend you’d like people to be for you, Kiecolt-Glaser says. 



That includes being supportive, being there when friends need you, having fun together and making an effort to listen, even when you’re busy or stressed-out.



In my case, I’m going to try to remember how much it meant to me when friends helped us with our move. And if I can organize a closet or even show up to give a hug, I’ll do my best to be there. After all, there’s something in it for me, too.



Jul. 21, 2016 "What it’s like ... to prescribe companionship to my patients": I found this article by Iris Gorfinkel in the Globe and Mail today.  It's about making friends and how you'll be happier.  She introduced 2 patients to each other and they became friends:

I had been attending this particular patient’s medical needs as her general practitioner for the past five years. Enid dressed impeccably, was a young 85 years of age and had the amenities that most elders dream about. She had her health, financial security, education and a strong intellect. What she was missing was companionship.

“If only I had someone to travel with,” she lamented.
Hardly 24 hours later, I was asked to see Fred, who had been my patient for seven years. He was a robust 87-year-old, financially secure and well-educated and possessed a marvellous sense of humour. He had remained active despite having lost his partner to lung cancer the year before.

“I miss having someone when I travel,” he told me.
Hearing these patients express an identical desire within 24 hours had an odd effect on me. I sensed that the boundary to which I had steadfastly adhered for the past 25 years was somehow null and void in this particular instance. Awkward as it was, introducing these patients to one another seemed at once appropriate and sound care for both. They matched on so many levels.

My next words surprised Fred and even startled me. “You’re not going to believe this,” I began, “but not 24 hours ago I saw another patient in this very room wishing for a travel companion as well.”

These words sparked a sense of uncertainty, but hope – even excitement – within me. Introducing patents is ethically questionable and does not fall within the expected boundary of a physician/patient relationship. On the other hand, what better medicine for loneliness than companionship? This prescription seemed nothing short of patently obvious.

Within a few minutes, Fred gave me permission to provide his name and telephone number to Enid. My own hesitation notwithstanding, I gave her a call and described him to her. She was cautious but agreed to his telephoning her.

Two months went by before I saw Fred again.

“I know you’re curious,” he grinned. “Enid and I are talking every day and we go out for coffee. I must thank you. She’s really quite a nice lady.”

Two weeks later, Enid expressed a similar sentiment about her new-found relationship with Fred.

“Such a gentleman, he’s truly quite wonderful,” she said.

Over the following year, their relationship steadily strengthened. They enjoyed long walks, went to the theatre, shared intimate dinners and took the occasional local trip together.

Fred was 90 years old when he was diagnosed with lung cancer. He and Enid continued to share daily conversations throughout his chemotherapy. On several occasions, he 
expressed gratitude for the companionship that they continued to share.

 Although he greatly loved his immediate family, he repeatedly said children and grandchildren could never offer the same validation and companionship.

Notwithstanding his illness, Enid told me that she, too, was grateful for the new relationship. 

She looked forward to their daily calls and they continued to meet for coffee when his health allowed. Their bond had blossomed into a meaningful connection that sustained him even as he entered palliative care.

Well before these encounters, the tremendous healing of meaningful companionship had delighted me. It has also saved my patients from tests, drugs and referrals. It has long been known that more socially isolated individuals are less psychologically and physically healthy and are more likely to die sooner. 

Yet, while beautiful and seemingly simple, this is all too scarce, especially in the twilight of life, as Fred and Enid had been.

Introducing two patients is a foray into the murky realm of the art of medicine and is highly exceptional. In 25 years as a family physician, I had never before and never since introduced two patients.

 Even thinking this way is counter to my training. As physicians, we are taught to offer a sympathetic ear and an investigative workup and to prescribe medication to ease emotional pain. We are taught to remain impassive, to sit on the sidelines of loneliness and to simply reflect on emotions.

In this instance, the introduction was highly therapeutic and proved beneficial to both.
Should a physician contemplate such a role? Is there any instance in which such an introduction would be desirable or even ethically called for? Would you personally agree to being assessed by a physician who would consider such an introduction?

At one time, I would have responded to these questions confidently and without hesitation: To take on such a role is perilous to both patient and physician. Patients are vulnerable. No health-care worker can fully understand what is truly in the heart of a patient. Emotions are complex. A patient may misrepresent feelings or may reinvent individual reality. Fears may be expressed as facts. Good intentions and strong intuitive senses on a doctor’s part are subjective and may be misguided.

But physicians are also taught to understand that the rare exists, to never say never. We are taught to understand that strict rules that invoke the term “always” in medicine do not exist. Exceptions to the norm are ever-present. It is how such exceptions are managed that the practice of medicine transforms into the art of medicine.

Iris Gorfinkel is a family physician in Toronto.


My week:

Jun. 14 Once Upon a Time: I finally finished watching this show season 7 finale/ series finale.   It's a very good show.

 However, I missed season 6.  I had recorded all the episodes, but then last year we upgraded my Telus.  The recordings on the DVR were then deleted.  I asked the tech guy if we can transfer the recordings to the other one, but he said it can't be done.

 If you have Netflix, may I come over and watch it?

 If you have the dvds, may I borrow a disc at a time and watch it?


 Andrew J. West: I really like this actor who plays the adult Henry.  It turns out I have seen him a couple of times before on Castle and The Walking Dead.  He is good-looking in the handsome and hot way.

 https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2366201/?ref_=nv_sr_1
Quantico: I saw the season 3 premiere and it was good.  This show is going to get cancelled after this season.

 The Crossing: This is a spring TV show and I am watching it this week.  I saw a few episodes and it's average.  It got cancelled.

 Summer 2018 TV shows: There are only 2 new ones: 

 Crawford: I'm watching it because one of my favorite Edmonton actors Kyle Mac is in it.  It's on tonight on CBC:
"A comedy about a dysfunctional family with 3 children. Oldest Wendy is trying to figure out life. Don came home after being kicked out of his band and finds he can talk to raccoons. Youngest Brian always seems to unite the family."
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6635810/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

 Reverie: This show is average.  I only saw the pilot and recorded the episodes.

 Shades of Blue: This is on their 3rd and final season.  It's good.

 Humans: This is on their 3rd season.  It's good.

 Social event: I finally attended one of these events after a couple got cancelled.  Here are some people I met:

 East Indian guy: He said he's a psychiatrist.  He did 4 yrs of Bachelor's, 3 yrs of research, and 5 yrs of residency.  He did 4 yrs of something else.  He did say he went to school for 16 yrs.  We talked about psychology which I like.

 Asian guy: He is in the military police and he said has watched some cop shows and Cops.  There is a lot of paper work. 

 White guy: He told me about Amazon selling groceries and how there is a store with no workers.  You can get the products and it charges onto your account.

 https://www.bloomberg.com/view/articles/2018-06-12/amazon-whole-foods-anniversary-sorting-the-groceries

White guy #2: I also met this guy who mentions "minimalism" and we talked about decluttering.  He thought of getting rid of his TV because he watches everything on his laptop.

I told him about 2016 was the Year of Decluttering.  

 95% of the things was from my sister: I donated 200 magazines my sister gave me in 2012 to Value Village.  I also donated some books she gave me.  I had read all the magazines and books.

 4% of the things are mine: I had donated books I had bought for Professional Writing in college.  I graduated in 2008.  By 2016, I never really referenced the books.  I thought I would need them if I got a job at the newspaper, magazine or publishing company.  I never got hired.

 1%: 4 books that my friend Jessica gave me.

 They were all donated.

Whitespark.ca: I was looking for a job and I found his site.  I like the graphics of clouds moving:

https://whitespark.ca/

 Zengot: I found this site where people run errands, organize your home, lawnwork, elder assistance, and pet services:

 https://zengot.com/

 Sign language: This must be the law of attraction.  I met this woman S at work.  She says she learns sign language in her free time.

 Then I watched Quantico season premiere and a character is deaf and speaks sign language.

 Then I'm looking for a job and search "part-time" and this sign language interpreter comes up.
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