Dec. 15
Christmas consumerism: I want to add to this. I say don't buy
Christmas gifts. Rahmit Sethi from I
Will Teach You to be Rich says that.
My neighbor Marek, a 50-something yr old man says Christmas is all
“spend, spend, spend.” I have another
person who has the same opinion as me and it’s David Eddie who writes an advice
column in the Globe and Mail. On Dec. 13, 2013 there was a “The
delicate art of Christmas gift giving.”
The question
For 10 years, my parents, brother and I, along with our spouses have
participated in a Christmas gift exchange whereby you provide a list of items
you’d be delighted to receive to the person who has your name and you get them
gift-wrapped under the tree. Last year I was royally burned by my sister-in-law
and received various unwanted items, something she has certainly done before. I
am over this tradition and really feel that this idea is one whose time has
come and gone. My brother is not taking the idea of cancelling the tradition
well and my parents are caught in the middle. How do I extricate myself
gracefully?
The answer
Have you really thought this through? Why on earth would you want to
extricate yourself from such an excellent system?
My wife Pam’s family has a similar system. They draw names from a hat or
bowl, and whoever’s name you get you have to buy that person a present and
whoever gets your name has to buy you one. And they only get “table presents,”
i.e. nothing too extravagant (to be opened at the table).
It’s a good system, promoting such time-honoured virtues as frugality and
thrift, and is an excellent antidote to the prodigality and wastefulness that
seems to be a hallmark of the season.
Since you only have to give to one person, you can really take your time,
think about that person and try to get the perfect, thoughtful gift. As opposed
to my family, where (no offence, family) everyone gets something for everyone,
and the result is chaos, anarchy – and horribly expensive, to boot.
In my family, everyone goes into a frantic pre-Xmas shopping frenzy (except
my Dad, who does his shopping in May). It’s exhausting. Compromises are made.
Or should I say approximations? Hope springs eternal, especially when you’re
standing, shopped-out, in some crowded department store, listening to the same
jingle-jangle, dashing-through-the-snow-type music, staring at (say) a green
cashmere sweater on a pile of picked-over cashmere sweaters: “Would this suit
Pam? She might like this. Anyway I can’t take it any more, I’m rolling
the dice and getting it.”
Then you have to brave the post-Xmas hordes to try to return everything,
which is a nightmare.
A while back, I tried to impose a system on my family: “consumables only” –
e.g. red-pepper jellies, gourmet olives, Scotch. It worked so beautifully for a
while – but then someone cheated, then a couple of other people cheated and it
went back to chaos again.
Now it’s to the point where my sister and her family of three kids will mail
stuff to us from Virginia. Are we
supposed to mail stuff to them? Their dog gives a present to our dog. So do we
need to get a present from our dog to theirs, then mail it? Who has time for
that?
It’s a nightmare! And now you want to be the one who breaks a perfectly good
system. Fine. You want to do it gracefully? E-mail everyone, tell them you’re
opting out, and this year you’re getting everyone a present. It’s up to them
whether they want to reciprocate.
That’s “graceful.” It will be chaos but at least you’ll have made your
point.
Are you detecting a little sarcasm/resistance to the idea of you deep-sixing
this system? Basically, I think it’s better if you let the current system
reign. And if you want to be “graceful,” learn to graciously accept your
sister-in-law’s not exactly-what-you-were-hoping-for presents.
Try this in front of a mirror: “Thank you! I love it!” With a big smile.
Look at it this way: It’s only one person giving you crummy presents, as
opposed to multiple people. Less stuff to return.
And do I really need to say that Xmas is not about what you get, that
it’s about spending time with your family, having fun, taking a break from the
rat race?
Anyway, ’tis better to give than receive, right? And also, as you could
gently remind her, if she keeps going off the grid of the system, ’tis easier
to return items if she includes a gift receipt.
Dec. 17 Christmas
UPS stories: I found this
on Yahoo news today. Tracey Sole saved
for months to buy an Android phone for her daughter. She bought it on UPS,
and then it was delivered. It was placed
in black trash can. It was empty so the
driver put it there thinking it wasn’t trash day. Tracey was really upset about it and told the
UPS about it.
“UPS
investigated what happened and it was found that the driver did indeed leave
the package in Sole’s trash can. The company told the station that,”…drivers
are trained to leave packages out of sight and protected from inclement
weather,” a practice the company calls, “driver release.” UPS
apologized for the mistake and eventually agreed to buy a new tablet for Ms.
Sole’s daughter before Christmas.
After the story
was broadcast, people offered to purchase a replacement tablet for Tracey’s
daughter, or money for a new one. She refused all of those offers but suggested
that those donations instead be made to Toys for Tots. Tracey also wrote in her
post that she does not want the employee to be fired because, “I can guarantee
he will never make that mistake again.”
My opinion:
What a nice story with a happy ending.
The company made a mistake and actually solved it.
Here’s a comment
on the article:
Dradmom33:
My son and I had a situation with UPS.
He and I had both bought some items on line one day, not knowing that the other
had ordered anything, we both put a three day rush on our items, and we both
had the tracking and e-mail updates. On the same day, we each received a
notification that our packages had been delivered. When I got home, our
packages were NO where to be found. Both my son and husband were home at the
time the packages were said to be delivered. I called UPS
and was told to contact each vendor and open an investigation. We did. Four
days later, a gentleman from two streets away came to our house and gave my son
our packages. This gentleman didn't even live on our same street. I am so
thankful he was honest and brought our stuff back to us. My package was merely
a cd that I had purchased, my son's package was computer parts, and cost a
quite a bit. This is not the first time we have had issues with UPS.
They are constantly delivering our packages to the wrong address, and
delivering other peoples packages to our house. I just wish the driver would
pay more attention to what he is doing. I am very lucky to have honest neighbors!
Others in this world can't say the same.
Christmas TV
movies: Last Thurs. I watched the Christmas TV movie Call Me Mrs.
Miracle. It was a week or so ago and
on the TV’s description it starred Doris Roberts and Jewel Staite (Firefly). It was how Mrs. Miracle will help a
struggling department store during the holiday season. A week later I was checking what’s on TV in
the newspaper it says that TV movie with Doris Roberts and Eric Johnson. I had to check if it was my favorite Edmonton
actor Johnson. I was right. So I watched it. It was a light, happy, and fun movie. On imdb.com it went by the title Miracle
in Manhattan.
Showcase then
played that movie twice on Sun. Last
night I watched the mystery TV movie Deck the Halls. It’s based on the book by Carol Higgins Clark
and Mary Higgins Clark. It’s about two
women, Detective Regan and PI Alvirah have to investigate the kidnapping of
Regan’s dad Luke and his driver Rosie.
Eric Johnson is in it as a cop.
If I really had
to choose which one I liked more, it would be Deck the Halls because it’s a
mystery.
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