Aug. 5 Joke flops: I've been thinking about how I unintentionally offended my friend in an email. I thought I made this light joke, and she
would either laugh or be indifferent. Instead she was offended. From now on, I will be more careful, and stick with jokes that have been confirmed that there were some laughs by some people. Well, I will admit that I have told jokes
that have flopped. These are dark ones, so I'm forewarning you right now, they could be offensive.
The Sausage Factory: I've told you this one before. Cut to Tracy is 16 and S is 19. Tracy is watching TV and laughing. It's The Sausage Factory where Zack and Lisa are having a serious conversation. It's a TV sitcom without a laugh track, and was on Comedy Network. This confirms it's supposed to be funny.
S: What are they talking about?
Tracy: She thinks he needs a kidney transplant, and he thinks they're talking about him having a VD.
S gasps and looks scared.
S: Yeah, well did he have sex?
Tracy: No.
S: Yeah, well I don't think they should be joking about something so serious.
I predicted she would not find it funny and be offended by it, but I didn't forewarn her. I didn't predict
that she would be scared.
Blue: C'mon, a few months prior to it, I told her the joke during the British boy band Blue interview.
Tracy: The question was: "Do you guys own any pets?" Then Lee says: "My cat committed suicide."
S: Suicide is nothing to joke about.
In the interview Antony burst out laughing.
Lee: Why are you laughing? My cat committed suicide- that is nothing to laugh about!
Antony: Sorry mate.
I thought it was kind of unintentionally funny. Antony laughed, so I thought my sister might find it funny. Hence, she did not.
ADD: Here's one more. I think it was in 2004. I was watching Comedy Network with this stand- up comedian. I don't know his name.
Comedian: I have ADD and I heard it's hereditary. If it turns out my daughter has ADD, I will send her to concentration camp.
The audience laughs.
I tell this to my sister, and she doesn't find it funny. I remember telling it to my little brother and he didn't find it funny either. My brother and I have the same sense of humor and find the same things funny. He said: "A lot of people died in those concentration camps."
I thought it was about ADD, so we can laugh at it. It was on Comedy Network, the audience laughs, so there is this confirmation that it's funny. I'm sure all of you guys noticed by now, I don't make jokes. I get them from TV shows, movies, and other people and then quote them into my life.
Aug. 6 Other people's flops:
Summer school: I told you this one before of back in gr. 10 math summer school. Mike was joking around and making fun of these girls giggling really loudly. He giggles really loudly in a girlish tone of voice.
Mike: "Let's go and make cookies for the boys!"
The entire class (unison): What?!
Mike: Guys, I got that from The Simpsons.
Teacher: Yeah, sure, you get everything from The Simpsons.
Mike: Yeah, but I did. Remember it was about the Malibu Stacey doll being too sexist?
The entire class (unison): Oh, yeah.
This joke flopped because no one got the reference, and then nobody laughed.
Sexual harassment: I've mentioned this before. This was the worst joke flops I have ever seen. It was also in gr. 10 and this guy was pretending he was interested in my friend by saying disgusting and sexual things to her for 20 min. He was suffering from delusions of grandeur that he thought was so funny, but no one else was, especially my friend. He also suffered from low level of emotional intelligence because he couldn't see how offended my friend was. It's not until she cried and walked out that he was like: "Oh my God, I totally offended her."
Funny and annoying: Most of my jokes are funny and annoying. It's often aimed at my sister.
Here's one I mentioned before. Cut to Tracy is 14 and S is 16. They're playing cards.
S: I win.
Tracy: "Lucky in cards, but not lucky in love."
S (laughs): Shut up!
It's not a personal diss at her for being single. I got that saying from this book about astrology. When I read that saying, I was like: "I got to use that in a card game."
Cut to Tracy is 15 and S is 18, and they're walking to school.
S: And if you don't go to college, you might as well be working at retail for the rest of your life.
Tracy: Fine, I'll just go and work at a tire store then.
S laughs for a moment and then regains composure.
S: The point is, to get more than just a job, but a career.
The "tire store" was from the TV show Angel. Wesley was pretending to be Angel and he meets a woman who says: "Maybe I'll run away and work at tire store."
Aug. 7 My sister's turn: This was when I was 16 and she was 19. Tracy was watching The Simpsons where Bart gets diagnosed with ADD and has to take Focusyn.
S: Hey Tracy, here's your favorite episode!
Tracy: No, my favorite episode is when George Bush moves across the street from The Simpsons.
S was making a direct shot at me for having ADD. It was a light and fun joke that I was not offended by. I did get back at her with The Sausage Factory joke about VD. She had made a joke about ADD so that's why I told her the "ADD/ concentration camp" joke thinking she would find it funny.
Aug. 12 Funny wedding video: I found this on Yahoo. Cut to a bride and groom walking out and they crowd is throwing confetti. The Granny accidentally throws her drink on the bride. You can hear her say: "I'm so sorry." lol.
I believe it was an accident, but it was kind of funny. Yeah, well at least they were just married, so they can then trash the dress. If it was before the wedding started, not so much. At least it was alcohol and not coffee, so it won't stain as much.
http://ca.screen.yahoo.com/grandma-confuses-confetti-drink-095329095.html?vp=1
Obvious: Some things are really obvious and some aren't so obvious to some people. For example, like that time my friend told me she is annoyed that I call and leave a message thinking she's available to talk on the weekends, because it's the weekend. I thought it was a good time then say a weekday morning. My only days off are the weekdays, but I know not to call because all my friends are at work.
Or the sexual harassment paragraph from above. It was so obvious that the guy was offending my friend, but it was not obvious to him at all. I will give you my examples.
Tyra Banks show: I was watching this show where she interviews 3 bad girls and they were talking about how they like to be bad and have fun. They looked like they were trying too hard to be cool and funny.
Tyra: You guys are so fake.
The audience applauds.
Tyra: You guys are like performing.
I can't believe I didn't notice how obviously fake they were. I was getting annoyed by the girls because they were saying things, but they weren't telling us what bad things they did. I thought I was getting angry because Tyra didn't ask the question: "What are the bad things you did?" Then I was like: "Oh, yeah."
The Simpsons: I felt like Homer Simpson on the ep where he goes to lesbian bar.
Homer is sitting at the bar and looking around.
Homer: There is something not right about this place, but I don't know what it is. Oh yeah, there's no fire escape. Enjoy your death trap ladies!
You want to tell Homer: "This is a lesbian bar, and not because there's no fire escape." I was a kid in elementary school when I saw this, so I didn't get what the real reason/ joke was. I thought: "Flashing lights, loud music. This is so not Homer's scene." lol.
The Sausage Factory: I've told you this one before. Cut to Tracy is 16 and S is 19. Tracy is watching TV and laughing. It's The Sausage Factory where Zack and Lisa are having a serious conversation. It's a TV sitcom without a laugh track, and was on Comedy Network. This confirms it's supposed to be funny.
S: What are they talking about?
Tracy: She thinks he needs a kidney transplant, and he thinks they're talking about him having a VD.
S gasps and looks scared.
S: Yeah, well did he have sex?
Tracy: No.
S: Yeah, well I don't think they should be joking about something so serious.
I predicted she would not find it funny and be offended by it, but I didn't forewarn her. I didn't predict
that she would be scared.
Blue: C'mon, a few months prior to it, I told her the joke during the British boy band Blue interview.
Tracy: The question was: "Do you guys own any pets?" Then Lee says: "My cat committed suicide."
S: Suicide is nothing to joke about.
In the interview Antony burst out laughing.
Lee: Why are you laughing? My cat committed suicide- that is nothing to laugh about!
Antony: Sorry mate.
I thought it was kind of unintentionally funny. Antony laughed, so I thought my sister might find it funny. Hence, she did not.
ADD: Here's one more. I think it was in 2004. I was watching Comedy Network with this stand- up comedian. I don't know his name.
Comedian: I have ADD and I heard it's hereditary. If it turns out my daughter has ADD, I will send her to concentration camp.
The audience laughs.
I tell this to my sister, and she doesn't find it funny. I remember telling it to my little brother and he didn't find it funny either. My brother and I have the same sense of humor and find the same things funny. He said: "A lot of people died in those concentration camps."
I thought it was about ADD, so we can laugh at it. It was on Comedy Network, the audience laughs, so there is this confirmation that it's funny. I'm sure all of you guys noticed by now, I don't make jokes. I get them from TV shows, movies, and other people and then quote them into my life.
Aug. 6 Other people's flops:
Summer school: I told you this one before of back in gr. 10 math summer school. Mike was joking around and making fun of these girls giggling really loudly. He giggles really loudly in a girlish tone of voice.
Mike: "Let's go and make cookies for the boys!"
The entire class (unison): What?!
Mike: Guys, I got that from The Simpsons.
Teacher: Yeah, sure, you get everything from The Simpsons.
Mike: Yeah, but I did. Remember it was about the Malibu Stacey doll being too sexist?
The entire class (unison): Oh, yeah.
This joke flopped because no one got the reference, and then nobody laughed.
Sexual harassment: I've mentioned this before. This was the worst joke flops I have ever seen. It was also in gr. 10 and this guy was pretending he was interested in my friend by saying disgusting and sexual things to her for 20 min. He was suffering from delusions of grandeur that he thought was so funny, but no one else was, especially my friend. He also suffered from low level of emotional intelligence because he couldn't see how offended my friend was. It's not until she cried and walked out that he was like: "Oh my God, I totally offended her."
Funny and annoying: Most of my jokes are funny and annoying. It's often aimed at my sister.
Here's one I mentioned before. Cut to Tracy is 14 and S is 16. They're playing cards.
S: I win.
Tracy: "Lucky in cards, but not lucky in love."
S (laughs): Shut up!
It's not a personal diss at her for being single. I got that saying from this book about astrology. When I read that saying, I was like: "I got to use that in a card game."
Cut to Tracy is 15 and S is 18, and they're walking to school.
S: And if you don't go to college, you might as well be working at retail for the rest of your life.
Tracy: Fine, I'll just go and work at a tire store then.
S laughs for a moment and then regains composure.
S: The point is, to get more than just a job, but a career.
The "tire store" was from the TV show Angel. Wesley was pretending to be Angel and he meets a woman who says: "Maybe I'll run away and work at tire store."
Aug. 7 My sister's turn: This was when I was 16 and she was 19. Tracy was watching The Simpsons where Bart gets diagnosed with ADD and has to take Focusyn.
S: Hey Tracy, here's your favorite episode!
Tracy: No, my favorite episode is when George Bush moves across the street from The Simpsons.
S was making a direct shot at me for having ADD. It was a light and fun joke that I was not offended by. I did get back at her with The Sausage Factory joke about VD. She had made a joke about ADD so that's why I told her the "ADD/ concentration camp" joke thinking she would find it funny.
Aug. 12 Funny wedding video: I found this on Yahoo. Cut to a bride and groom walking out and they crowd is throwing confetti. The Granny accidentally throws her drink on the bride. You can hear her say: "I'm so sorry." lol.
I believe it was an accident, but it was kind of funny. Yeah, well at least they were just married, so they can then trash the dress. If it was before the wedding started, not so much. At least it was alcohol and not coffee, so it won't stain as much.
http://ca.screen.yahoo.com/grandma-confuses-confetti-drink-095329095.html?vp=1
Obvious: Some things are really obvious and some aren't so obvious to some people. For example, like that time my friend told me she is annoyed that I call and leave a message thinking she's available to talk on the weekends, because it's the weekend. I thought it was a good time then say a weekday morning. My only days off are the weekdays, but I know not to call because all my friends are at work.
Or the sexual harassment paragraph from above. It was so obvious that the guy was offending my friend, but it was not obvious to him at all. I will give you my examples.
Tyra Banks show: I was watching this show where she interviews 3 bad girls and they were talking about how they like to be bad and have fun. They looked like they were trying too hard to be cool and funny.
Tyra: You guys are so fake.
The audience applauds.
Tyra: You guys are like performing.
I can't believe I didn't notice how obviously fake they were. I was getting annoyed by the girls because they were saying things, but they weren't telling us what bad things they did. I thought I was getting angry because Tyra didn't ask the question: "What are the bad things you did?" Then I was like: "Oh, yeah."
The Simpsons: I felt like Homer Simpson on the ep where he goes to lesbian bar.
Homer is sitting at the bar and looking around.
Homer: There is something not right about this place, but I don't know what it is. Oh yeah, there's no fire escape. Enjoy your death trap ladies!
You want to tell Homer: "This is a lesbian bar, and not because there's no fire escape." I was a kid in elementary school when I saw this, so I didn't get what the real reason/ joke was. I thought: "Flashing lights, loud music. This is so not Homer's scene." lol.
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