Apr. 6 Funny video: I was watching some Tosh.O today. It's where the comedian Daniel Tosh shows some videos and makes snarky comments on it.
Cut to the back seat of a car.
A Teen Boy isn't wearing a seat belt, and he opens the door.
Teen Boy sticks half his body out, as he reaches to smack his friend outside.
Teen Boy falls out of the car.
Teen Boy hits his face hard on the back headlight of a parked car.
Cut to the studio.
The audience says: "Ohhhh."
Then DT pretends to be like Oprah by being on a set that looks like her talk show. On the screen it says "Tosh Oprah."
DT interviews the Teen Boy.
TB is wearing bandages all over his face.
DT: Why did you stick your body out like that?
TB: I thought it would be funny to hit my friend as the car goes by.
DT: How fast was the car going?
TB: 35 miles an hr.
DT: Did your friends call 911 or did they drive you the hospital?
TB: They called 911 and the ambulance came 45min later.
DT: How old were you?
TB: 15 yrs old.
DT: Did your parents ground you?
TB: They sent me to live with my grandma.
DT: So they got rid of you.
The audience laughs.
TB takes off his bandages and he looks normal.
It was a "video redemption" segment. It's where TB relives that moment, and he sticks his body out and hits a Guy on his head while Guy is riding a bike. TB, DT, and Woman are riding this sort of jeep.
Apr. 8 Tone of voice: I remember in writing and a gr. 10 drama class exercise, about tone of voice. You can say one sentence in different ways. It was about a month ago, I thought about this.
Dateline: I'm going to bring up Dateline: To Catch a Predator where a 35 yr old guy is going to date a 12 yr old girl. Here's the clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14FZUc8_rWI
Guy: I thought that we should get to know each other a bit first. Then next time I'll bring condoms.
Me: What are you guys going to talk about? Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers? What if she gets pregnant?
I know you guys are only reading this, and you can't hear my voice. I will say my tone is plain. I'm not angry or snarky. The way I asked "Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers?" is the exact same plain tone of voice as I ask the serious question "What if she gets pregnant?"
Tosh.O: However, I can imagine Daniel Tosh on Tosh.O saying what I just said, but in a way more snarky tone.
Here's a clip of DT talking about "Tebowing." You can watch 30 seconds of him and now imagine him saying what I just said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYSRiz52exk
Cut to Tosh. O. They show the Dateline clip.
DT: What are you guys going to talk about? Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers?
The audience laughs.
DT: So are you going to watch some Twilight movies and go to the Justin Beiber concert?
The audience laughs.
DT: Geez, this guy is so fake. It's like watching a really flamboyant gay guy date a straight woman.
The audience laughs.
Imagination: Now I can imagine Daniel Tosh and his producers going on the internet and finding my blog. They would say: "Damn, Tracy Au has kind of got the flow of DT's humor and show."
Internet in movies: Yelin George sent me this article through my blog. "10 Most Ridiculous Uses of the Internet in Movies." It's a mildly funny article.
When I mentioned it to my brother the movie The Italian Job, my brother guessed right away what the scene was. It's where Seth Green's character make all the street lights turn green. #2 was FearDotCom. I remember seeing it on TV, and thought it was mediocre. It's about a website being able to kill people just by visiting it. Then it gave to the link to Justin Beiber's website about his new single "Boyfriend."
http://www.cabletvproviders.net/blog/2012/10-most-ridiculous-uses-of-the-internet-in-movies/
Apr. 9 Joke: I got this from Daily Silly. I thought it was a creative story.
There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.
Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor?
The perfect woman.
She's the only one that really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
* A Male's Response *
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
Me: This joke dissed both genders.
Marriage: Here's another one from Daily Silly:
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well, and I just act as if I'm listening."
Here's another one:
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained, "and today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought for a moment and then asked, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
Apr. 12 Bear joke: I got this from Daily Silly, but I think I've heard this joke before a long time ago:
Two guys were hiking in the forest when they suddenly came across a big grizzly bear. The one guy took off his hiking boots and put on some running shoes. His friend said to him, "You're crazy! Don't you know how fast grizzlies are? You'll never be able to outrun it!" "Outrun it?" said his friend. "I only have to outrun you!"
Dog joke: Here's one from Daily Silly:
A mother's bachelor son invited her over for a meal. He had just gotten two new dogs and wanted his mom to see them. When she sat down at the table, she noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that she had ever seen in her life. "Have these dishes ever been washed?" she asked, running her fingers over the grit and grime. "They're as clean as soap and water could get them," he answered. She felt a bit apprehensive but started eating anyway. The food was really delicious, and she said so, despite the dirty dishes. When dinner was over, her son took the dishes, put them on the floor, whistled, and yelled, "Here, Soap! Here, Water!"
Me: I predicted that the dogs were licking the plates, but I didn't predict that Soap and Water were the dog's names. However, in real life I would have tried to use soap and water and wash the dishes myself. I'm a neat freak and would say: "You're not washing the dishes right. You're not giving it a really good, hard scrub."
Motorcycle: Also from Tosh.O. They showed this video at the beginning of the show. There's a camera on the motorcycle, and it's going over these 3 hills. Then it goes right over 2 girls, and it hits one of them.
The audience: Ohhhhh.
Cut to Daniel Tosh.
DT: Because you can't always hear a motorcycle.
The audience laughs.
Flashback: This brought a flashback of 2001. I was waiting for the bus with my brother and sister, and a motorcycle goes by.
Me: I hate motorcycles. They're so loud.
S: They have to be for safety reasons. If you're on a highway, you can't always see a motorcycle, but you can always hear it.
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