jokes/ Autocorrect jokes/ Michelle Krusiec

Mar. 27 Jokes: The other day I was eating dinner with my family. My little brother was talking.

P: He was working for 104 hrs straight.
Sister: That's like what? 3 days?
P: 4.
Me: "I worked for 48 hrs straight and I thought I was a humming bird."
P: No, it's "I worked for 96 hrs straight and I thought I was a humming bird."

Does anyone get the joke? It's from The Simpsons where Apu loses the Kwik-E- Mart and the actor James Woods takes over the place. JW shows the video footage of Apu acting like a humming bird. lol.

Yes, random things trigger TV jokes. Earlier this week my grandma was weighing some gin seng. It reminded me of Angel. Angel, Wesley, and Gunn enter a Chinese shop. An old Chinese couple are there.

Woman: You're kind not welcome here.
Gunn: Oh what huh? A black man can't buy some gin seng?
lol.

What the woman really meant was Angel because he's a vampire.
Angel: You two take grandma and I'll take grandpa.
They get into this fight scene because the couple were actually demons.

Headlines: My friend Sherry sent me this video about a old woman stops a jewelery store robbery. This documentary camera guy was filming for a job, and caught this whole thing on tape. This old woman is using her handbag to hit the bad guys. lol.

http://abcnews.go.com/International/northampton-grandmother-stops-jewelry-store-robbery-handbag/story?id=12866752

Apr. 4 The Office: I saw this The Office episode a couple of months ago. The boss Michael Scott made this awful short movie called Threat Level Midnight. It took him 11 yrs to make the movie with his employees as his cast. The cliches were montages, and bad dialogue.

After MS kills someone in his office he says: "Clean up on aisle 9" which is not relevant to the scene. The bad guy is called Golden Face which is making fun of James Bond's Golden Eye. There was bad acting like MS kills Oscar by strangling him and O's eyes stay open when they're supposed to close. In fact, O blinks when he's supposed to pass out. lol.

Rashida Jones (now on Parks and Recreation) make an appearance in it. There was even a musical number thrown in. I do like this one line at the end of the ep about the film.

MS: Don't listen to your critics. Listen to your fans.

I would say listen to both.

It's like The Simpsons episode where they make Radio Active Man movie. I was like 9 yrs old when I saw it and thought it was funny. Now that I'm older I realize the movie dialogue was very poor because it was too expository and doesn't sound like real people talking.

Apr. 5 Autocorrect jokes: I was watching Jay Leno yesterday and he told us about a website called http://damnyouautocorrect.com/

He had a segment called "That's not what I meant." Autocorrect is when you're typing something and that app predicts what you're going to write, and writes it for you. JL then read some real text messages that were sent.

Mother: Your brother is adopted.
Daughter: What? Why are you telling me through text? Call me.
Mother: I mean your brother got accepted into Yale.

lol. That's really good to get accepted into Yale. That also brings a flashback of Maury where this woman tells her teen daughter that she has a baby boy that she gave up for adoption years ago. They were then all reunited. Aww...

It also reminded me of 16 and Pregnant where the girl Maci texts her mom to her that she's pregnant.

Forums: It's like art imitating life. I was watching 30 Rock.

Liz Lemon: There were a lot of good Amazing Race episodes to watch, and I had to read comments about it on the internet.

That's like me, and a lot of other people. That's why there is twop.com. It's gotten way better. I remember back in 2002-2004, there was Fametracker forums and I went on there regularly. Then it closed down the forums. Then in 2006 I went on twop.com and I went crazy with it for 5 months by reading comments and then writing my own comments about TV shows. I had to go and read to see if anyone was making comments about my comments.

I then quit to focus on my first yr of college to study writing. Then I came back a yr later after school was done. It was the summer time so I had time to read and write comments, but I wasn't obsessed with it. Now I only read the 16 and Pregnant thread, usually 1 page a day. I check out "TV moments that angry up the blood" and "Unintentionally funny TV moments".

I was watching the Teen Mom 2 Finale Special and there's a promo for 16&P season 4 on Apr. 19. Damn, I thought they were ending the show. Yeah, well at least I don't read the Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 threads. That would eat up a lot of time. I need to use the time to focus on my goals.

Apr. 6 Kingsway: I went to Kingsway mall a couple of weeks ago. Club Monaco closed down. There are houses by the mall, and they were teared down. When did that happen? I remember this house that had a neon psychic reader sign in the window.

Celebrity: I was watching this Desperate Housewives episode called "Farewell Letter". Gabby visits her hometown and went to a restaurant. There were framed pictures of her in there. That reminds me of something I saw years ago about Britney Spears. In her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana, there was a restaurant and there were framed pics of her. It was back when her 2nd album was out in 2000.

Quote: I was reading an article by Jonathan Goldstien in The Globe and Mail. He said: "Turn inspiration into reality."

Chips: Did you know there's pizza flavored and cheese burger flavor chips? Cheese burger is from Doritos. My sister told me there is hot dog flavor.

Head lice: This was like a yr ago, but I was watching South Park and it reminded of the girl who's in a religion that doesn't allow her to talk to boys. In the show, this kid Clyde has head lice and the the teacher Mr. Garrison tells the class there is one kid who has head lice, but won't tell which one.

Cartman: C'mon, tell us who it is so we can treat this person like an outcast!

How the class was reacting was similar to how my gr.9 class was reacting. Then in the episode they think it's Kenny and they take out there soap and socks. You think they're going to beat him up by putting the soap in the sock and hitting him with it. However, they were cleaning him with it. Mr. Garrison then comes and tells the class that they all have head lice and that it was contagious. I didn't expect that one.

As soon as we find out who the girl who's in a religion that doesn't allow her to talk to boys, she is going to be treated like an outcast.

Tattoo: This was last summer, but I saw this girl who had this tattoo on her left wrist: "No codeine, no penicillin." I thought it was kind of cool. I remember reading some article in the newspaper that instead of wearing some medical tag, people tattoo their medical info on them so paramedics and medical professionals can read it.

Michelle Krusiec: I was watching Secret Life of the American Teenager and I see that Madison's step mom is Asian. I always think there should be more Asian actors on American TV shows. She's pretty. So I went on the internet to see who she is and her name is Michelle Krusiec.

I was like: "Oh my god!" I have seen her before in movies like Saving Face. That's a really good movie about a young Chinese woman dealing with her sexuality and falling in love with another Asian woman. She also has to deal with her mom being pregnant and not married. It's a really good movie, I have it on dvd. I remember seeing her way back in the late 90s in the sitcom called One World about a family that adopted a bunch of kids from different races. Lots of ethnic diversity.