Friday, February 25, 2022

"Conscious Relationships"/ "When friends are so desperate to get you a date, they resort to PowerPoint"

Nov. 18, 2020 "Conscious Relationships": Today I found this article by Shelly Bullard on Facebook:


Sacred Dreams

October 15, 2017 

We are approaching a period of time when relationships are ready to go through a major redesign.

The current paradigm isn’t working.

People are unsatisfied in love; people don’t know how to make relationships work.
And, believe it or not, this isn’t a bad thing. Because when systems break-down, that’s when they change. I believe that’s what’s happening in the area of intimate partnership. The break-down is forcing us to move towards conscious love.
So what exactly is a conscious relationship?
It's a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth.

Individual growth.

Collective growth as a couple.

Growth that makes the world a better place.

As of now, most people get into relationships to satisfy their own personal needs. This might work for a few years, but eventually the relationship fails us, and we end up unsatisfied as a result.
But when two people come together with the intention of growth, the relationship strives towards something much greater than gratification.

The partnership becomes a journey of evolution, and the two individuals have an opportunity to expand more than they could alone.

Deep satisfaction and long-term fulfillment arise as a result.
So if you’re someone who feels called to take your experience of romantic love to the next level, below are four qualities that characterize what being a conscious couple is all about. Welcome to the path of the conscious relationship. This is next-level love ...

1. The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship - growth comes first.

Not being attached to the outcome of the relationship does not mean you don’t care what happens! It also doesn’t mean that you don’t have fantasies about how the relationship will turn out.
What it means is: you’re more committed to the experience of growth than you are to making the relationship “work.”
The reality is, we’re here to grow. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

When growth stops, we automatically feel like something’s gone wrong. Because it has. Without growth, we aren’t fulfilling our soul’s purpose.
Unfortunately, relationships today tend to stifle growth more than enhance it. This is one of the main reasons we’re failing at romantic love.

We want our partners to act in a certain way,

we repress ourselves to please others,

and soon enough, we feel small, oppressed and puzzled about who we’ve become.

This, inevitably, makes the relationship feel like a cage that we want to break out of. But the unfortunate truth is: we’ve caged ourselves.
The conscious couple values growth more than anything else because they know this is the secret to keeping the relationship alive.

Even though growth is scary (because it takes us into the unknown), the couple is willing to strive towards expansion, even at the risk of out-growing the relationship.

Because of this, the relationship maintains a natural feeling of aliveness, and love between the couple does, too.

2. Each person in the relationship is committed to owning their s#*t.
Conscious couples know that we all have wounds from the past, and they understand that these wounds will inevitably be triggered, especially in a relationship. In other words, they expect to feel abandoned, trapped, rejected, overlooked and any other s---- feeling that arises when we bond closely with another person.
Most of us still believe that relationships should only feel good, and when bad feelings surface, something has gone terribly wrong. What we fail to see in this situation is that these s----- feelings stem from our own faulty patterning!

These issues are not caused by our partners; they’re caused by our beliefs.
The conscious couple is willing to look at their past and current issues in relationships because they know that by facing these beliefs systems, they can evolve into a new relationship-reality. Dysfunctional patterns will dissolve, but only when we take responsibility for them, first.

3. All feelings are welcome and no internal process is condemned.
In a conscious relationship, there’s room to feel anything. Not only that, there’s room to express those feelings and fantasies to your partner. This is edgy territory… it’s not easy to do. But it’s also one of the most healing things we can experience in a partnership
It’s rare to be completely honest about who you are, and to stretch yourself to let your partner do the same. You may not like what you hear; in fact, it may trigger the hell out of you. But you’re willing to be triggered if it means your partner can be authentic.
Like I already said, we’re used to molding and changing ourselves to please people we love because we don’t want them to stop loving us! This stifles the love out of our connections.
The only option is radical honesty: revealing parts of ourselves that are hard to share, and letting our partners do the same. This leads to feeling known, seen and truly understood — a combination that will automatically enhance your love.
4. The relationship is a place to practice love.
Love, ultimately, is a practice. A practice of acceptance, being present, forgiveness, and stretching your heart into vulnerable territories.
Sometimes we treat love like it’s a destination. We want that peak feeling all the time, and when it’s not there, we’re not satisfied with what the relationship has become. In my mind, this is missing the whole point of love.
Love is a journey and an exploration. It’s showing up for all varied nuances of your relationship and asking yourself, "What would love do here?” The answer will be different every time, and because of this, you’ll get to grow in ways you never have before!
The conscious couple is fiercely committed to being the embodiment of love. And through their devotion and practice, love shows up in their lives and relationship in ways they would’ve never imagined before.~
~ Shelly Bullard



Jul. 2, 2019 "When friends are so desperate to get you a date, they resort to PowerPoint": Today I found this article by Terry Nguyen in the Star Metro:

“This is a single 27-year-old heterosexual male,” Sean Keller hollered to a crowd of 200 people at the bar Franklin Hall on Friday night.

That heterosexual male was Chris Gillespie, who stood near his friend’s PowerPoint presentation, a wide smile plastered on his face. Gillespie figured the speech would be good, but he was oblivious to what was coming. He didn’t expect the photo of himself in a halfway buttoned-up shirt (“Chris isn’t afraid of a low V”) or the image from his hacked Facebook account (“He’s so cultured that his hacked account got a job in Cairo").

“He’s an outdoorsy dude with a sense of humor, down-to-earth and educated,” Keller continued.

The flattery went on and on, drawing casual laughs. But the goal wasn’t comedy. It was to get Gillespie a date (or dates) by the end of the night. His friends carefully curated each slide of their three-minute presentation, hoping someone in the crowd would find Gillespie attractive.
The speech was part of Franklin Hall’s first Pitch a Friend night, which enlisted 12 on-the-market locals to be hawked by their friends — as the bar’s Facebook page noted, it was like “Shark Tank” for singles. Finding dates via PowerPoint sounded suitable for Washington, a city in which “everyone is Type A,” bar co-owner Peter Bayne said.

Tinder and similar dating apps have more matchmaking power than ever, as relationships are increasingly initiated online. But these apps can be overwhelming. Profiles are filled with poorly lit selfies, basic quips from “The Office” and photos with Joe Biden. How can a person be reduced to a 500-character bio?

Daters are now asking their more-than-willing friends for help. Ship, a dating app launched in January, lets users invite friends to swipe through profiles and chat on their behalf.
 In Facebook groups such as Subtle Asian Dating, users can tout their friends by posting flattering photos, personality descriptions and links to their social media accounts. 
Pitch a Friend night was just one more example of how eager friends are to play the role of wingman for the Tinder era.
Daters have always utilized their social circle, according to Jordana Abraham, co-founder of Ship. 
It’s natural for people to be more comfortable meeting someone who is approved, or at least vetted, by another person. 
As recently as 2009, that was the most common way to date, research shows. In the District, people used to bring their friends to a matchmaking party to speed date through FriendSwap, which was founded in 2002 and ran for more than a decade.

“For most people, their ideal way to meet is in person — at a bar, a function or doing something they enjoy,” Abraham said.

Gillespie, who is on the dating apps, agrees — but meeting in person requires charisma. “It’s hard to approach women at a bar because they might have plans for the night,” he said. “And I don’t want to intrude on that.”
Friday night at Franklin Hall, beer in hand, Gillespie didn’t have to extend much effort. Five different women approached him within five minutes of the presentation, striking up conversations about the memorable bits. 

And yes, it helped that his friends had passed around a flier with tear-off strips with his phone number, conveniently leaving the last digit blank. “Chris has a pen if you’re interested,” one of the presenters yelled before slipping offstage.

Olivia Duggan, a frequent patron at Franklin Hall, emailed Bayne the idea for the event months ago. She was inspired by DateMyFriend.ppt, a similar pitch night her friends had attended in Boston.
“There’s nothing like a good friend who can reveal your idiosyncrasies,” Duggan said. “It makes the stakes in dating seem lower.”
During the presentations, she was seated on one of the bar’s long communal benches, eyeing the clock and commanding the air horn, promptly tooting it after three minutes of frenetic friend-pitching.
Alex Waddell pitched his friend Julian Cowell, in the format of a civil court case with “Julian is a good person” as his closing argument. “You’re only eight simple letters from the best decision of your entire life,” proclaimed Jacob Comer, switching to a slide that showed his friend Matthew Gruber’s Instagram handle.
“It’s like entertainment,” said Shivangi Jain, an attendee who had just heard of the event that day and didn’t appear to be shopping for a date. “It seems very casual, and I just came to watch the presentations."
An hour into the pitches, it became impossible to speak without yelling. People flocked to the bar, drink tickets in hand, to knock back beers. Even after hearing the pitches, some preferred to chat within their circles.
Colleen Moore, one of the first people to be pitched, ended her night in the far-left corner of the hall, intently watching a baseball game on the large television.
“I would’ve been watching the game if they hadn’t told me to come out for this,” she said, gesturing to her friends in conversation nearby. A few guys did approach her as she wandered the bar, Moore said, but her priority was still the game.
Because really, in the age of online dating, who really wants to have an in-person conversation at a bar — even after PowerPoints break the ice?

“I mean, if you don’t meet anyone here, it’s a joke,” muttered one patron to his friend about the event. 
“If you do, you can say it was something serious.”


https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/06/27/when-your-friends-are-so-desperate-get-you-date-that-they-resort-powerpoint/?utm_term=.b11cb06c98a0

Feb. 19, 2022: I don't know if you noticed this, but last year I posted a lot of dating and relationship articles onto my blog.  I read the articles when they first came out in like 2017- 2019 and they were saved in my drafts.  I then reread them last year and published them.

I'm going through my old physical news articles and there are lots about dating and relationships.  I'm rereading them and will be publishing them later. 




This week's theme is about dating and relationships:

"Alicia Silverstone Tells Drew Barrymore She 'Got Banned' from the Same Dating App Twice"/ "Drew Barrymore on the challenges of finding love as a single mom"



"The Red Flags in your own behavior in dating and relationships"/ "The six relationship red flags you should never ignore"




My week:

Feb. 15, 2022 "Video shows hundreds of blackbirds falling from the sky and crashing into pavement": Today I found this article by Asha C. Gilbert on Yahoo news:

Hundreds of blackbirds were seen on video falling from the sky in Mexico and hitting the pavement. Some died on impact.

The circumstances surrounding the event led some to question whether it was pollution or 5G on social media. However, an animal expert told The Guardian it was likely a predatory bird that led the flock of birds to the ground.

Security camera footage recorded the incident on Feb. 7, according to the local paper El Heraldo de Chihuahua. Residents in the community saw hundreds of blackbirds dead on the streets and sidewalks and called police.

Dr. Richard Broughton, an ecologist with the UK Centre for Ecology & Hydrology, told The Guardian he believed there was a raptor who chased the birds and drove them to the ground.

“This looks like a raptor like a peregrine or hawk has been chasing a flock, like they do with murmurating starlings, and they have crashed as the flock was forced low,” he said. “You can see that they act like a wave at the beginning, as if they are being flushed from above.”

Other possible causes for the bizarre fall include the birds inhaling toxic smoke from a nearby heater or they were standing on an overloaded power line.

In 2014, birds continued to fall from the sky in St. Louis, Mich., after they fed on insects and grubs from contaminated soil. Decades of pollution for a former nearby chemical plant led to a forensic study that found lethal levels of DDT in the birds collected.

Video shows hundreds of blackbirds falling from the sky and crashing into pavement (yahoo.com)

Feb. 19, 2022 Wal-mart: Fight Hunger Spark Change:

Food Banks Canada provides national leadership to relieve hunger today and prevent hunger tomorrow in collaboration with the food bank network from coast-to-coast-to-coast. Over 3,000 food banks and community agencies come together to serve our most vulnerable neighbours. Their vision is clear: create a Canada where no one goes hungry. Visit Food Banks Canada to learn more.


Purchase participating items online or in store.

Add a donation to your order on Walmart.ca.

Round up your in store purchase to the next dollar & donate the difference.

Drop off non-perishable food at your local Walmart store.


Our commitment

We’re committed to making a real difference in relieving hunger. Together with our suppliers and customers, we’re setting out to raise and donate enough funds to secure 10 million meals through the Fight Hunger, Spark Change program in 2022. To help deliver on this goal, Walmart Canada will also commit up to $820,000 to  Food Banks Canada. Join the fight by contributing in one of four ways listed above.

Fight Hunger Spark Change | Walmart.ca


Feb. 22, 2022 Edmonton Become a Person of Influence: Last week I went to this online Meetup and we talked about how if you don't act on an idea to make money, someone else will do it.  I told them that I tried to get my scripted produced for 7 yrs and there are other script ideas that were produced before I was able to get my script produced.

I was encouraged to keep trying and how Sylvester Stallone experienced a lot of rejection when trying to get Rocky produced:

Sylvester Stallone Made 'Rocky' Against All Odds (businessinsider.com)

Table Topics: Last week I attended 3 of these online meetings.


Feb. 23, 2022 "As food prices soar, communities find innovative ways to feed more people": Today I found this article by Krystalle Ramlakhan on CBC news.  I like this article because it's about charity and helping people:


In downtown Kitchener, Ont., a church parking lot has been transformed into a takeout spot providing meals for people in need.

"I come here every day, like, I don't have a lot of money," said Paul Jones who lost his job and relies on the Tiny Home Takeout program. "It helps because I don't get enough, you know, for the month, counting groceries."

St. Mary's Roman Catholic Church used to serve from its basement, but when the pandemic hit, it switched to takeout. Its team makes 300 meals five nights a week with the help of volunteers in a newly renovated kitchen, led by a professional chef. People can choose from a menu with items such as pizza, salad and soup.

"You get the dignity of, you know, to be treated like you're in a restaurant," said client Henry Haskins. 

While some people pay what they can to help keep the program running, Father Toby Collins said he's seeing more in need of a free meal.

"There's this need for basic necessities that they used to be able to afford," he said. 

"It's just as important to be innovative about our ideas as it is about accomplishing the task of feeding people who go without food."

High demand for P.E.I.'s first community fridge

In Charlottetown, P.E.I.'s first community fridge is packed with free groceries and some prepared food. It sits inside a newly built shed in the parking lot of a bingo hall. For Kayla Baldwin, a college student on a tight budget, it's a lifeline.

Fifteen-year-old Samel Sunil came up with the idea with his sister. He says with more people turning to the fridge for food, they've ensured it's stocked and open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, so its users can help themselves whenever they need to.

"They can rely on the P.E.I. community fridge to take something, or the next day they can also contribute to it," Sunil said.

Local shops, farmers, restaurants and community groups doing food drives have also stepped up with donated supplies.

As food prices soar, communities find innovative ways to feed more people | CBC News


Feb. 24, 2022 "More shoppers feeling inflation pressure look to dollar stores for deals, retail experts say": Today I found this article by Madeline Cummings on CBC news:


According to Sylvain Charlebois, the director of the Agri-Food Analytics Lab at Dalhousie University and a visiting professor at the University of South Florida, between 15 and 20 per cent of Canadians were going to dollar stores for groceries regularly before the pandemic. 

"When food inflation becomes an issue, we do believe that dollar stores will get more traffic because people are looking for better deals," he said.

Bailey Parnell, who runs the non-profit #SafeSocial and researches social media's effects on mental health, said do-it-yourself tutorials featuring dollar store items have become trendy on TikTok and Instagram.

More than 27,000 Instagram posts include the hashtag "dollaramafinds" and some Canadian Facebook groups dedicated to dollar store hauls have more than 100,000 members.

Parnell said young people struggling with the high cost of living could be driving the trend, posting about doing more with less as a way to connect with others in the same situation.

"The bulk of the people that make up the active social media trends are largely Gen Z and maybe a bit of Gen Y right now — and this is a generation that has been working longer for less money than ever before," she said.

Lower prices, smaller packages

Tara Wilkins, a frequent dollar store shopper in west Edmonton, said she often stocks up on kitchen scrubbers and other household items so she can spend more on groceries like good-quality bread. She also turns to dollar stores for affordable art supplies and toys for her dayhome.

Though dollar stores have a lot of great deals, she said they do not offer the best price on everything.

"Some of the items you can just go somewhere else and get for the same price or less," she said.

A travel-sized container of dishwashing liquid might be convenient for camping, she said, but a larger size is likely to be of better value over time.

More shoppers feeling inflation pressure look to dollar stores for deals, retail experts say | CBC News

My opinion: There are a lot of comments like you can buy pasta, canned foods, and cookies there.

I like looking in the store, but I hardly ever buy anything.  I bought dry erase markers last year because I needed them for my dry erase board.  I have to write things down to do.

Leo opinion: Is the situation in Ukraine/ Russia adding stress to your life?

Yes: 53%

No: 34%

I'm indifferent: 13 %

My opinion: I said "I'm indifferent."  If you add "no" and "I'm indifferent" together, it would be 50%.  If you're reading the news and it's adding stress to your life, stop reading it. 

Feb. 22, 2022 "‘Are you okay?’: Starbucks barista writes secret note to help teen girl": Today I found this article by Michelle Butterfield on Global news:

Texas Starbucks employees are being credited for their quick thinking after they helped a local teenager feel safe when she was being bothered by a man she didn’t know.

Brandy Roberson, the mother of an 18-year-old girl, shared a now-private post to her Facebook page Friday explaining how a barista’s handwritten note helped her daughter avoid a potentially dangerous situation.

Roberson wrote that her daughter was studying by herself at the coffee shop Friday night, when employees at the Corpus Christi store grew concerned for the girl’s safety after they saw a man, displaying some “strange” behaviour, approach the girl.

Roberson wrote that a barista handed her daughter “an extra hot chocolate someone forgot to pick up” after the stranger started talking to her.

On the cup was a handwritten note: “Are you okay? Do you want us to intervene? If you do, take the lid off the cup,” the message read.

Roberson told NBC’s Today that her daughter said the man was “quite animated” and talking “fairly loudly.”

“I believe this is what alerted the employees. He had also not come in with my daughter, so they knew she probably did not know him,” she explained.

Roberson told Today that her daughter didn’t feel the need to remove the lid from the cup, and that the man left when he realized she was communicating with the coffee shop’s staff.

“How grateful I am for people who look out for other people!” she wrote.

‘Are you okay?’: Starbucks barista writes secret note to help teen girl - National | Globalnews.ca


Posted by at No comments:

"The Red Flags in your own behavior in dating and relationships"/ "The six relationship red flags you should never ignore"

Feb. 18, 2021 "The Red Flags in your own behavior in dating and relationships": I found this article by Naomi Cambridge who is a Relationship coach on Facebook:


There is a lot of talk about the red flags to look out for in a potential partner, but what about the red flags to look out for IN YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR when you’re dancing around making a new connection with a special someone?!
.
For e.g. one person can sleep with a potential partner relatively quickly and feel great about it,

another may have remorse or get attached too quickly clouding their objective judgement.
.
Personally I know I can’t have casual sex, I am not able to truly let go and enjoy with someone I don’t know I can trust, so if I end up having sex with someone too quickly this is a red flag for me – to me
.
Anyway I digress
.
This is about knowing what your own red flags are
.
Some common ones are:
.
Getting into fantasy or daydreaming about your crush
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Consistently putting your own life second and theirs first- deciding not to go to an activity because they've asked you out on a date. Dropping everything when they want to see you.

Saying yes when you mean no- for ex. you haven't drank in years, but you get drunk because you want to please them.
.
You’re not at all over your ex- and you know you're using this new person as a distraction from your feelings about it.
.
You want to keep the relationship secret- this one is pretty self- explanatory- if you need to keep it a secret, ask yourself what you're really up to?
.
You know you’re not being honest about your feelings and needs: truly ask yourself why? Is it because you fear that who you really are will repel them?
.
You find yourself over giving- this could be your time, money, contacts, resources, body, etc. and you feel resentful but can't stop yourself.
.
You don’t feel like the best version of yourself when you’re with them- you regularly feel less than or anxious and weird.
.
You find yourself doing protest behaviour
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You’re game playing and you know it- you don't want to show them you care so you don't tell them the truth. You pretend you're into things they're into so they'll like you. You're treating them mean to keep them keen.
.
It’s vague between you - you're unwilling to have a conversation with them about what the relationship is because you're scared of the truth and you'd rather live in the potential and possibility than the reality.

You’re more concerned about whether they like you than you are about whether they’re showing up well for you- all your attention is on them and whether they're into you rather than on yourself and the objected reality of how this connection feels to you.

Do you relate to any of these?!

Or do you have others that you know signal that you need to really check in with yourself?

I’d love to know in the comments!
.
P.S. A good quick antidote to fantasy/daydreaming is - as soon as you catch yourself doing it, bring yourself back into the present moment by naming out loud what you can feel in your body and see in the room.

You may have to repeat it multiple times a day, that’s ok, you’re breaking a habit and creating neural pathways for presence



Sept. 19, 2021 "The six relationship red flags you should never ignore": Today I found this article by Flic Everett on Yahoo News:


Dating shows are balm to our weary post-lockdown brains, full of pretty people in colourful swimwear and wedding outfits, sharing their most mortifying ups and downs with the viewing public. And one of the most enjoyable aspects, of course, is spotting early on who's making a big mistake.

From Love is Blind to Love Island to Married at First Sight, we're all dating experts now, and while we cheer on the successes, there's a sense of smug satisfactions when our grim predictions come to pass. 

Perhaps that's because it's easier to spot 'red flags' in a potential partner when it's not our own hearts on the line.

Relationships coach Melody Chadamoyo says, "a red flag is a sign of danger and in a relationship, it's something your partner does that shows lack of respect, integrity, and interest in your wellbeing - demonstrating that the person would not be able to have a healthy relationship with you."

When it's you being dazzled by hearts and flowers, and declarations of love three days in, it's a lot harder to figure out what's genuine attraction and what's just lust and flattery, and that goes for all of us.

As singles ease back into the dating pool post lockdown, then, they may need a little help - so here are the red flags to watch out for, according to vision experts Lenstore.


1 They spend too much time talking about their ex

Dating and relationships expert Clarissa Bloom comments “I'm firmly in the camp that it's ok to bring up ex-partners if the conversation is relevant, it's not insensitive and won't start a direct argument.”

“But the main area for concern is if they speak highly negatively of their ex," she says. "This could be a sign they haven't fully got over them. Breaking up can be a very hard time and they might want to go on a date to get over their ex-partner, but you shouldn't be used as a tool for them to overcome their ex. 

"They may need some time on their own to fully get over their feelings.”

If he or she still has the ex as a screensaver, and suffers 'mention-itis', talking endlessly about them and their amazing family/friends/house/job, it's a giant neon sign reading 'avoid.'


2 Something in your gut feels wrong

Relationship coach Melody Chadamoyo suggests “Listen to your intuition. Some people spend time writing pros and cons lists to see whether they should be together instead of listening to their intuition." 

“On a date, if you start to feel uncomfortable don’t try to explain it or reason with yourself but rather walk away. Your intuition is always looking out for you. We’ve all said 'I knew this was going to happen' after things have already gone badly. That knowing is your intuition.”

Don't confuse gut feeling with nerves - everyone feels nervous before a date; but intuition is a steady inner voice.


3 They don’t talk through issues

“How you handle disagreements is crucial for how the relationship grows and thrives," says Melody. "In a good relationship, a couple will talk through issues, listening to the other and expressing their own point of view. This allows both parties to feel heard and seen.”

“If something comes up that you don’t agree with, and the person refuses to discuss it this can be a massive red flag.”

If it's early on, it may simply be the case that they're nervous of conflict, but if it persists, consider whether you want to be with someone who can't listen - or even talk - when the going gets tough.


4 Me, me, me

 “If the conversation is purely about one person, this can be a quick red flag," says Bloom. "Both people on the date should be eager to get to know each other, whether that's directly asking questions, or following up an answer with an enquiry back.”

If they're spending more time looking at their phone than looking at you, or holding forth about their own opinions, experiences and thoughts with no interest in yours, it's a serious sign that they're self-obsessed.


5 Whirlwind romance

Chris Pleines, a dating expert from Dating Scout states “Another red flag to watch out for is being trapped into a whirlwind romance.”

“When you haven't build any foundation yet for your relationship but they are already treating you as if you are the love of their life, they are, in fact, lulling you into a false sense of security," he says. "They are just putting up a front and manipulating you into thinking that they are “the one.” 

"Once you fall for them, that's when they start taking advantage of you. They can get away with toxic behaviours in the actual relationship because you are manipulated into thinking they'll go back to being the “perfect” romantic partner you first met.”

If s/he's declared love in the first week and is pushing for moving in within a month, slam on the brakes - and ask why it's all happening to speedily.

The six relationship red flags you should never ignore (yahoo.com)


Posted by at No comments:

"Alicia Silverstone Tells Drew Barrymore She 'Got Banned' from the Same Dating App Twice"/ "Drew Barrymore on the challenges of finding love as a single mom"

 

Oct. 19, 2021 "Alicia Silverstone Tells Drew Barrymore She 'Got Banned' from the Same Dating App Twice": Today I found this article by Alexia Fernandez on Yahoo news:


Alicia Silverstone is opening up about her previous luck on dating apps — to mixed results!

The actress appeared on The Drew Barrymore Show where she told host and friend Drew Barrymore and dating coach Damona Hoffman that she'd been banned from a dating app twice.

"A few years ago I tried to get on one of the dating apps and I put a fake profile because I wasn't comfortable yet being me," Silverstone said. "And then I got kicked off, I got banned."

Silverstone didn't let that stop her. "I tried again," she said.

"I got the courage up because I heard that you were on, and I heard that Sharon Stone was on, so I was like, 'Well, if they can be on, I can be on,' " Silverstone told Barrymore. "So I went on as myself, and it took a lot of courage to do it. And then I did it, and I had a date with someone planned, and the day I went in to find out about the date where we were meeting or whatever, I had been banned. Poor guy. I got kicked off as myself, too."

In September, Silverstone joined Bumble and told PEOPLE the new venture gave her a renewed "hope" for dating.

"I just think it's a great way for people to meet," she said at the time. "You know, I think that it's really nice that we have friends that can connect us. You can be set up by friends, you can be at a party and tell people, 'Hey, do you know anyone?' 

You can do things like that. I have experience where I'll go to an in-person event and no one's really engaged. They're sort of in their phones, and it's a bit discouraging."

She added, "It can be like, how are you supposed to meet anyone in the real world? You know what I mean? I mean, sometimes people are, and sometimes you do meet people out in the real world, and I certainly have, and it's been wonderful, but I think that it's just a really nice way for people to meet."

Silverstone, who filed for divorce from her husband Christopher Jarecki in 2018, said she's "always been intrigued" by dating apps.

"I always thought it sounded so fascinating. It sounded like it opened up a lot of possibility for people and created hope," she said. 

"And I've heard tons of beautiful stories from people. I think it's very much the norm now. And it makes sense. It's kind of like going to a bar, but it's more effective."

Silverstone, who is hard at work with multiple projects including the second season of Netflix's The Baby-Sitters Club, admitted she was excited to fully immerse herself in Bumble.

"It's an adventure," she said.

Alicia Silverstone Tells Drew Barrymore She 'Got Banned' from the Same Dating App Twice (yahoo.com)


Jan. 12, 2022 "Drew Barrymore on the challenges of finding love as a single mom: 'I don’t know how to date with kids'": Today I found this article by David Artavia on Yahoo news:


Drew Barrymore, on the dating market for six years now, admits putting herself out there as a single mom has been an at-times difficult process.

In an upcoming episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, airing Thursday, the affable producer and host sits down with a few stars of Netflix’s Queer Eye, during which Barrymore tearfully reveals for the first time, “I don’t know how to date with kids.”

It's a moment of self-discovery Barrymore says she didn’t expect, and one that she hopes other single moms can relate to.

“I had never realized and said out loud that I don’t know how to date with kids,” Barrymore said on CBS This Morning while promoting the episode. “My kids’ dad [Will Kopelman] is happily remarried with the most wonderful woman in the world, Allie [Michler]. My children have this extraordinary stepmom. Our processes have been different and their side of the street is so functional and whole and happening. And I think I’ve been on the sidelines — in a beautiful, honoring purgatory.

“I’ve been saying 'It’s me,’ ‘It’s my choice,’ ‘I’m not ready,’ ‘I wanna wait,’” she continued. “I don’t think I’ve said out loud that it's really because I have these two daughters.”

Barrymore shares daughters Olive, 9, and Frankie, 7, with her third husband Will Kopelman, from whom she divorced in 2016. She'd previously been married to bar owner Jeremy Thomas and comedian Tom Green. 

“I’ve been single for six years and I’ve [no idea] how to do this,” she added of dating. “I’ll go on an occasional date but that’s only in the last two years. It took me four to even step out there. 

And people have different processes. Then enter a pandemic, where you think maybe I should step out of my comfort zone and see.”

But dating in a pandemic isn’t Barrymore’s cup of tea. “I also honestly found Zoom dates really unromantic,” she explained. “They’re just a reminder to me of the state of the world that were living in. However, counterpoint, you can’t fight City Hall. Online dating is where it’s at.”

While she didn’t expect to have such an emotional response talking about dating as a single mom, Barrymore hopes her story inspires other parents to step "into our bravery.”

As far as the kind of man she’s looking for, well, it’s definitely someone who isn’t “interested in marriage or kids.” 

Still, that doesn't mean she's ready to walk down the aisle anytime soon. “Never!” she exclaimed at the prospect of getting married again. 

“There’s no reason to be. I would maybe live with someone, maybe, but I’ve had kids. There’s no way. I will never ever ever ever [get married],” she added. “This is not just about me being stuck. This is about, when you’re a single mom, it’s a dynamic that I have probably not been able to figure out yet. And that’s OK to have patience with ourselves.”

Barrymore has been open about her divorce, explaining in the past that she was initially devastated by the relationship’s failure, fearing that it would provide an unstable home for her kids. 

"I think that's why I took [the divorce] so hard," she elaborated on Sunday TODAY in October 2020. "I was, like, oh, the ultimate promise I wanted to make with you and for you was to have this amazing family. And I found them. And there's something not working that isn't livable. How tragic is that?"

Despite her concern, Barrymore added that she and Kopelman found a great system for co-parenting, one that benefits the children.

“His family and I sort of made the most important choice: to be so together and united and connected," she shared. "That's, I guess, what they call family. I know from not growing up with any family whatsoever that that was the last thing I wanted to do for my daughters."

The actress also spoke about the experience in her new memoir Rebel Homemaker, revealing that she “unravelled” when trying to process the end of her marriage while living in New York City with her daughters.

“Lightless, grey, wet, soggy days trying to find a rental apartment, wishing I could run back to California so badly, but I knew that would separate my daughters from the other half of their family, and I would do no such thing,” she writes, according to an excerpt printed in Body+Soul. 

"I struggled for the next several years to try to figure out a way to make Manhattan a place where I felt comfortable. Then the pandemic hit. I think I slowly unravelled and yet I felt things I didn't know possible."

Drew Barrymore on the challenges of finding love as a single mom (yahoo.com)


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