rut/ movie/ "Cracked Actor" short story

MONDAY, APRIL 27, 2009

rut/ movie/ "Cracked Actor" short story

Apr. 25 Rut: Yesterday I was watching the series finale to The OC. The characters Seth and Summer were in a rut. That is the perfect way to describe my life. They were watching Briefcase or No Briefcase and The Valley which is a parody of Deal or No Deal and The OC. My life revolves around TV. It was like that when I was in school. After I do my homework or I schedule my breaks around TV.

It's been nearly a year since I graduated from college. My solution is to try something new, and do something exciting. Last month I finished my script. That was exciting. This month I auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance Canada.

Fighting: I was on imdb.com and reading people's comments on this movie. It got 6/10 out of 403 votes which is pretty good. The comments taught me on how to improve my own script. I laughed at this one comment:

"When Shawn is most in need of money, he still insists upon his code of honor and refuses to throw a match. This is utterly ridiculous considering his reason for fighting and the fact that the fights themselves are "anything goes." Where's the honor in that? Apparently the trophy for integrity outweighs the desire for food and shelter, especially for someone content with living like a derelict." lol. I did read a review that he does get more money if he throws the match. In my script, no one ever throws matches.

And here's another one:
"The movie doesn't exactly bridge between events either. When Shawn wins his first fight against the white dude that he knocks out with the water fountain, he is supposed to win $5000...but you never see him get it. The time you find out is when he is paying for Zulay's cab fare.  They do this in another sense when they jump into the $100,000 Mercedes and are 'going somewhere'. The movie then jumps to Shawn in his bed and his phone vibrating from a text."

I also learned that Shawn's enemy is an old rival of his, and he has to fight him in the last fight scene. The same goes for Never Back Down. In my movie, the main bad guy isn't a fighter. Look, I'm going to admit it. Right now I'm stalling from writing any more things into my script. I'm waiting for a production company to get back to me on it. If they say yes, they will produce it, then I won't have to do anything to the script. Well the same goes for they say yes, but I will have to do some things to the script. For now I will wait.

I did write some additional scenes, but I didn't type it up yet. Typing it onto the disk is this next level of commitment to it.

Apr. 26 Writing: I had to work on Sunday and as usual it's boring so I got to write. Afterwards, I went home and actually typed up and edited some works on another script.

Movie: Last night I saw the movie The Devil's Advocate starring Keanu Reeves as a defense lawyer, and Charlize Theron as his wife. KR defends an obvious child molester. KR is then recruited to work at a law firm, that turns out to be owned by the devil played by Al Pacino. My co-worker Christine told me it was scary, and it was.

It kind of reminded me of the movie Next. If you want to avoid spoilers, skip this paragraph. In both movies, the majority of it was like a dream/ premonition. Then the lead character comes to, and prevents the bad thing from happening.

I did learn something today. There was a scene where KR ends up quitting the case in the middle of the trial. They said he might end up being disbarred. I asked my sister about it.

Me: Can you quit in the middle of the trial?
S: You can quit, but you will be disciplined. Well you can't get disbarred, but you could be suspended. You need to give notice before quitting.

Cracked Actor: Here is a short story I wrote when I was 16 back in 2001. I submitted it to www.ecrush.com under the section "Horror Date" where people tells stories about bad dates. I wrote a fictional story, and passed it off as true for the website. I submitted it and it got published a week later. Ecrush gave the title "Cracked Actor." It's been 8 years, but I still remember how it goes. Here it is:

So I met this guy named Jesse at the mall. He picked a cd I liked and we both started talking about. Then he asked me out. He goes to this performing arts high school which is in the innercity. Not a lot of people have good backgrounds there, but I didn't care. He went there so he could become an actor.

I went out with his friends to the movies. After the movie, his friend Sydney said there was a party going on. We went there. The house was rundown, and the walls had their paints peeling off. Two friends left and came back stoned. I stuck close by to Jesse.

It turns out it was a drug house, and it was like that all the time. The police came, and we all went to the police station. On the way there, I learned that Jesse had a police record. He was caught selling drugs, and he went to a juvenile detention centre. I was there for about 45 minutes. We did a drug test. Some of us who weren't high or drunk were driven home, which was very few of us.

The police dropped me off at my house, and my mom saw me through the window. I told her that one of my friend's dad is a cop, and he dropped me off after his shift. I then get an email from Jesse that his parents grounded him, and he may go to military school.

Later he went to Vancouver to start his acting career. He moved there so he would get away from his friends. We went out one more time before he left. I think a cop was staring at us. He emailed me telling me he got a part in a indie film. A few weeks later I was at the mall. Hey, isn't that one of his friends getting into a police car?

Ecrush: "It's great that this guy wants to get away from all the drugs and alcohol, but if he wants to get away from all that, then why is he going into....showbiz?"

lol. It's good that it got published. Also good that Ecrush pointed out how there was major flaw with the character Jesse. Maybe I should have written that he was into computers or something.

Anyway, looking back on it, there was a flaw with the police dropping off my character at her house, without talking to the parents. In real life, I'm sure the police would drop the kid off, talk to the parents and say that: "Your kid was at a drug house today. She may not have drank or did drugs, but she could be going to do it, but we busted the party, before she did. You should talk to your kid about drugs and alcohol."

Apr. 27: On the weekend, I emailed this production company to see if they finished reading my script yet. It has been a few weeks. They replied yesterday:

"Hello, Tracy...
We took a look at your script and first let me say that it is always an accomplishment to complete a feature-length screenplay. Many people start, but never finish.

Having said that, we think it is early work. In other words, the script needs more revision to get closer to being considered for production. If you are considering working in this field, it might be beneficial to take some courses/workshops and read several books on the craft of screenwriting, as well.

Thanks for sharing your work with us. We are returning it by mail."

I emailed them back asking after I revised and edited it, can I mail it again? And ask on how to improve it.

Onto lighter news, an old friend from jr. high has confirmed as a friend of Facebook. Mary Ann Maxwell. I went to her Halloween party in 1999, her bday parties in 2000, and 2001. Then after 2001, I didn't hear from her. Then in 2003, I bumped into her at Centre High and we chatted for a bit.

differences/ funny/ fighting

Apr. 20 Differences: Yesterday I was talking to my sister about newspapers like Metro and 24. She says she hates those because they make garbage because it's all over the bus and LRTs, and they don't really go into depth of the stories. I like to read it during my breaks at work. I get the news in a really fast condense version because I really have a lot of time.

Funny: I was thinking about that Primetime experiment again. You know where that teen girl is trying to get birth control pills, and the pharmacist won't give it to her because he thinks she's too young to be having sex? They're actors. The experiment is to see if anyone will say anything about it.

Doesn't mean that someone is taking birth control pills means that person is having sex. She could be taking it to lighten her periods. I'll add that someone buying a box of condoms doesn't mean that person is having sex. It's from my favorite joke: "So the other day I bought a box of condoms... because my last one was expired."

I'll also add something I heard from the cancelled TV show The Lone Gunmen back in 2001. A character said: "Doesn't mean that you see a blinking light means that something bad is going to happen." I remember a time I was on the computer and I had Realplayer on. Maybe it was in 2004.

The pause button was blinking. Patrick comes.
P: Oh my God, what's that?
Me: Doesn't mean you see a blinking light means something bad is going to happen.

Apr. 21 Music: The store Southside Sound on Whyte Avenue will be closing down due to too much competition. I read that in 24. The article mentioned about Sam the Record Man and then I found this on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_the_record_man

That store actually closed down in 2001 by filing for bankruptcy. There were other franchise stores that weren't part of the bankruptcy filing. Those stores closed down in 2007. I don't think I have ever been to that store before. I remember in Capilano mall, there was a music store called Top Forty. It was back in the 90s.

It also mentioned CD Plus. I remember that store back in 2003 I went there and sold some cds and dvds at the Londonderry mall location. There are still stores across Canada, but none in Edmonton.

Joke: Last night my sister was watching The Hills while Patrick and I were on the computer. The girls are out in a club, and Audrina's ex- boyfriend Justin Bobby enters. A throws this crumpled paper at him.

S: Yeah, sure, throw garbage at him.
Me: Yeah well he does look like a homeless guy.
S, and P burst out laughing. Well S has said that before.

S checked out this book on how to organize your stuff and life. I always read those articles in magazines and newspapers. I would say I'm relatively organized.

Writing: I saw Desperate Housewives, and they killed of the character Edie. I have known for awhile that she was going to be written off. There is nothing for the character to do now, and they needed to cut down on budget costs. I felt they were doing a little recycling because the ep had Edie in all these flashbacks as people remember about good times with her. There was an ep earlier this season about the handyman Eli Struggs who ended up dying, and everybody goes into flashbacks remembering him.

I'm going to admit that I read an article in the newspaper about Maury on Sunday. It doesn't count as a relapse because I'm not watching his show, nor reading about comments dissing him on twop.com. Reading it did not make me want to watch the show.

Apr. 22: Oh my God, I saw an ep of Lie to Me and it reminded of an old episode of the short- lived show Johnny Zero. Lie to Me did an ep about a woman lying that she was a child soldier when she wasn't. Veronica Mars did an ep about a guy saying that, but he was. This week LtM did an episode where this Rapper's friend Dante ended up being murdered.

Later it turns out that the Rapper was gay. The Rapper's manager (I think it was the manager or friend) was the one who killed the boyfriend. If the Rapper had came out, then he wouldn't have any of the success like house and cars. The Rapper said: "But I still would have had Dante." In 2004 I saw a Johnny Zero ep where J was in an alley with this guy. This drive- by shooting goes by and shoots at them.

Later J finds out that the rapper is gay, and the manager got the boyfriend killed. Manager makes it look J who was working as a bodyguard, that he's the one who did it. Manager created the story of how J stole Rapper's girlfriend, Rapper then shoots J in a jealous rage. There is a struggle with a gun, and the Girlfriend shoots the Manager. Then Rapper ends up saying that he shot the Manager, so Gf won't go to jail.

Not to mention, a Rapper being in a shooting does get more publicity for him. lol. Well it's dark, but it's true. In LtM, a character said: "When there's a fued between rappers, it sells more records."

Apr. 23 Girlicious: I borrowed the girl group Girlicious's cd. They have some good tracks like "It's Mine." It's a song about it meaning it's my body and I'll do what I want with it. I like the songs they already released like "Like Me", "Stupid S---", and "Baby Doll." I saw an interview with them and they said they like the song "My Boo" and I like it too.

Apr. 24 Fighting: I read the two reviews in the newspapers about the movie Fighting starring Channing Tatum. It got 2 stars, and 2 and 1/2 stars in The Journal and The Globe and Mail. I see that the movie is quite different from mine which is good. CT is a hustler selling fake Harry Potter books. Some thugs come by, and CT beats them up. Terrence Howard's character sees it, and gets him into fighting. In my movie, my lead character gets into fighting in a different way, in a different place, by a different kind of character.

CT falls in love with a single mom. My character falls in love with a different character. CT fights in different places. My character fights in the same place. They fight with no gloves. My character fights with gloves. There is a short mention of CT's estranged father, and no other background information. My character's family is different, and there is more background.

I was out passing 10 resumes today, and this month I passed out 32 resumes. I picked up 24 and Metro, and they gave the movie 3 stars, and 2 stars. It mentioned there are only 4 fight scenes. In my movie, there's way more.

Good: Today I was watching Tyra because it was about teen pregnancy. What was so good about it was that there was this African- American girl who was on the show months ago who said she wanted to have a kid. The girl Jessica came back, and she said: "After I saw myself on TV, I thought I looked so stupid and ridiculous. Thank you for having me on your show so I could realize that Tyra." They then hug each other. Awww.... see Tyra helps people unlike Dr Phil.

Jessica earlier said she wanted to have a kid with her ex- boyfriend so that would bring them closer together. Well she got back with her boyfriend, and she's still in school, and doesn't plan to have a baby. T asked expectant teen mothers about what they're going to do with the baby and how much money they're going to need to raise the baby.

T also talked to this teen girl who wants to have a baby. The girl then tells her mom and her boyfriend about it. They try to convince her to not have one.

Question: Has anyone ever passed a card to you that said: "I'm deaf and mute, and can't get work. Please donate some money to me"? I got that once when I was volunteering at the Heritage Day Festival in 2003. When I first got it, I was skeptical like: "Seriously? This guy could be faking." Then I gave the card back.

Then I felt guilty for not giving him money. I thought this was a step above panhandling because he's selling cards. Though it's not really worth anything. Now I'm thinking of seeing a guy at Taco Bell, he has the same disability, but he does work by making tacos. Then in October, this guy handed me a card that said that, and I gave him a $1. I thought had right my wrongs by not donating earlier.

Now I look back and thnk that this guy can get a job. He can see and is able- bodied. What about data- entry. Well my sister thinks the same thing.

news/ movie/ weird

Apr. 18 News: Last night I was watching Yahoo News about this "Craigslist Killer." This guy looks for hookers on the site and he kills them. Then today I went on "Ripped from the Headlines thread" and there is a link. This does sound like what Law and Order: SVU would do an ep on.

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view/2009_04_17_Craigslist_killer_may_have_struck_again/srvc=home&position=0
I hope they catch the guy. This news story is pretty much saying to him: "We're onto you!"

Lookalike: I earlier emailed how the following singer, tennis star, and actor all look alike. Well my friend Sherry analyzed it and here are her following notes:

Lee Ryan:http://www.babynames.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/lee-ryan.jpg

Andy Roddick:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2851969024/nm1496310

Sean William Scott:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1530237952/nm0005405

similarities:
overall shape of face
the nose tip is rounded
sort of a 'cowlick' in centre of forehead where hair goes up
then outbrows have a peak after a bar (versus constant curve)
atypical style of grinning

differences:
andy eyes more rounded, the other two similar
lee and andy nose more 'bulbous' in shape than seann
looks like seann had broken in nose at some point as angle is off
lee could almost be kevin bacon's rel, and ative, seann could almost be dennis quaid or ashton kutchner relative

I have to say her notes are very accurate.

New: I tried Thai Express today. I ordered the rice noodles with beef and it costs $7.13, It was good. It's a little bit expensive. I would prefer Famous Wok, order 2 items for $5.50.

Coincidence: Today I was on Yahoo News and it showed this mentalist doing magic tricks. He totally bent this spoon with his mind. Coincidentally I saw some of The Matrix last night during the commercial breaks of the shows I was watching last night. You know where Neo bends the spoon with his mind.

Wait, I'm getting a flasback of 2000 when I was watching the show Street Cents and they did a parody of it.

Me: The reality is that there is no spoon!
Morpheus: But the reality is that there is no spoon.
My sister laughed at the fact that I knew what he was going to say.

Another coincidence was that I was watching The Simpsons yesterday, and it was about the Simpsons going to a magic show. The waiter was a mentalist and gave Marge the drink a Long Island ice tea.

Kyle Riabko: I was watching the mentalist do his trick, and then I saw this cute guy as a screencap. The headline said something being a blues singer. I clicked on it, and it's Kyle Riabko. It's this musician who I met once in 2006 at Capital Ex, and again in 2007 at Winston Churchill Square.

He was talking about touring for the musical Spring Awakening. I then check his www.myspace.com/kyleriabko and found this 50 second video. He said he didn't know there was a camera rolling. I burst out laughing at it. It's a behind the scenes of the play, and Kyle is goofing around with his Nerf gun.

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=9566245&blogId=436286835

Apr. 19 Writing: Yesterday I went and read my old blog posts of the times I met Kyle Riabko. I then found an old email that said I submitted my script to a company and I got rejected. It was dated Aug. 19, 2008. I then went through my old emails on my account and found out which company rejected me.

Then I realized this was before Sept. 2008 which was where I got these great notes from Glynis Whiting. Those notes helped me significantly improve my script. Today I went and emailed that production company that rejected me earlier. I told them about the earlier rejection, and how I improved it, and that it's 90 pages. Maybe they'll be interested in reading it again and saying yes.

Movies: I was thinking about character development in movies. I remember watching Road Trip back in 2000. I was on the choir/ band trip to Saskatchewan. On the bus, that movie was on so I watched it. It was a poor movie. It did have character development for one character played by DJ Qualls. He's this nerd, and then later he develops a back bone.

I also thought of A Walk to Remember. Shane West's character is not likeable. After he falls in love with Mandy Moore's character, he becomes likable. His character development is that he goes from being a jerk, to being a good guy.

I was talking to my friend Ray about my script. The reader told me that the character needs to fight for another reason, other than money.

Me: I then thought about that movie Fighting. The trailer has the girl say: "Why are you fighting?"
Ray (quoting Channing Tatum's line): "I'm fighting for us." That is so corny.

The reader did give me some other reasons to fight, but I don't know which one to take.

Music: I borrowed the cd from the duo Dear Science. It's kind of techno with some singing in it. Most techno music don't have lyrics, just beats. I didn't really like it. Then I went and borrowed the Katy Perry cd. I really like it. I like her song "UR So Gay." She's singing about this metrosexual guy. I also like "Fingerprints" where she sings about not watching on the sidelines, and actually living your life.

Apr. 20 Weird: It's weird how I am thinking of Andy Roddick (26 years old) recently. Today I read that he got married on Friday to his gf, Sports Illustrated model Brooklyn Decker, 21. Well I don't like it when people get married before they're 25, but it's alright if one person is over 25, and the other isn't.

The other weird thing is that last month, Mandy Moore got married. MM and AD dated from 2002- 2004. It's so weird that they got married to 2 other people within a month of each other.

Good: Today I finally got to see The Big Bang Theory episode where Michael Trucco guest stars. I am so happy.

I read a Metro review of the movie Crank: High Voltage. It said: "Crank: High Voltage is disgusting, disposable, disorienting, inhuman, and infantile... and those are its good points." It got 2 out of 4 stars. It's a mediocore- average movie. I disliked the first movie. I saw it on my bday in Aug. 2007.

My friend Leslie lent it to me. I thought I would like it because I like action movies, and Jason Statham. I found myself cringing at it because it was so violent.

dating/ crazy story/ parody

Apr. 16 Dating: You know two weeks ago, about how that guy I was talking with on the dating website who blocked me? And how yesterday he asked to be put onto my IM contact list? Well today I was IMing with him. We straightened some stuff out. He said that he didn't block me, he closed the account on the site.

I asked if he wanted to meet up. He said: "You're too goody good. We won't click." I asked why he asked to be put onto my IM list. He said it was accident and that he'll take me off and said bye. Well now that's all clear.

Charity: Did you know that Madonna donated $500 000 to help the people who were affected by the Italy earthquake? Today in the Metro, it said that liquids like shampoo that are seized at the airport are being donated to the Leduc Food Bank.

Apr. 17 Job: Today was my day off. I woke up an hour early to use the washroom, and I couldn't get back to sleep. So I got up, printed my resume and dropped it at the Capital Health hospital in downtown. Then I went to my job so I could sell my pica knife blades to my manager. I bought these for my pica knife back in 2004 when I was at Nait. I never used it, so I decided to sell it to them for $7.80 which is what I bought it for.

She bought it off me because she does need it to cut open boxes. She asked if I could work during the lunch rush. One of the workers was sick. I said yes, and worked for 2 hours. I also got a free sandwich for my services.

Crazy story: I took the time to read people's comments on the Law and Order: SVU ep "Ballerina" on twop.com. Then I read the "Ripped from the headlines" thread where people throw in headlines that SVU writers could use for their episodes.

The crazy story is that in Russia, there is this hairstylist who took the armed robber who tried to rob her salon, and she tied him up for 2 days and used him as a sex slave. Seriously. You can go to the link below and read it. The robber tried to rob the salon, and the hairstylist beat him, and tied him up in the back. She told the workers and customers to keep doing what they were doing, and she'll call the cops.

She never did call the cops. Later, everybody left and she sexually assaulted him. She then released him, he goes to the hospital and tells the cops about what happened. In the end, the article says they could charge each other with crime. Him for the armed robbery, and her for the sexual assault.
http://www.themoscowtimes.com/article/1292/42/376242.htm

20/20: I was watching 20/20 today and they discussed about those Somali pirates. Some boats do defend themselves with noise. There was this demonstration of this really loud beeping noise. They also spray the pirates with hoses. Then if that doesn't deter them, they run for cover, and lock themselves inside. They call the Navy seals.They talked to this French captain. He was in his 30s and good- looking. So anyway, they were a crew of 30. 7 of them were women, so they got locked into this safe place so the pirates won't get to them.

There are pirates because Somali is a poor country. That's how they make money. However, they aren't Robin Hoods where they steal the money and give it to the poor.

They talked to Women's tennis star Monica Seles. She got stabbed in the back when she was at the height of her career. They captured the guy, and he got 2 years probation. MS lost a lot of her sponsorships. Weird coincidence is that later on I saw this commercial with tennis star Andy Roddick who does a commercial to sell laptops. He didn't say anything in it.

Now that reminds me that he went out with Mandy Moore. He also played himself in an ep of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I also remember I used to go on www.fametracker.com and there was these forums discussing music, books, TV, movies, and celebs. Someone mentioned: "Have you ever noticed that Andy Roddick, Sean William Scott, and Lee Ryan (my favorite member from the British boy band Blue) all look alike?"

I looked at the links, and they all have the same nose. Oh my God. Check it out:

Lee Ryan:http://www.babynames.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/lee-ryan.jpg

Andy Roddick:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2851969024/nm1496310

Sean William Scott:
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1530237952/nm0005405

Parody: Today I was watching a new ep of Prison Break and 20/20. During the commercial breaks I saw The Matrix. Patrick showed me this College Humour parody of the movie. My friend Daniel told me about that show. Here's a clip called The Matrix runs on Windows:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX8yrOAjfKM

The only part that I really liked was when the icon from Microsoft Word appeared. You know the paper clip with a face and it's floating on a piece of paper? lol.

funny/ defense/ inspired

Apr. 12 Funny: I was watching Criminal Minds and there was this really funny part in it. The FBI have to find a man and a woman who are murdering college guys. The woman is to lure the guy into the hotel room, the man comes in and rapes and murders him. The FBI think it's the female suspect Julie.

Julie and the guy turns around like they are going back to her place. Agent Rossi is standing right there.

Rossi: Trust me kid, this is your lucky night.
I burst out laughing at that. I told it to Patrick. This joke works on two levels. It seems like the guy is going to get some, but he isn't. He is lucky that he will survive.

I was watching Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update." Seth Meyers says: "The TV show Guiding Light will be cancelled. There is a decrease in viewership once white people now got real problems." lol. I think he was referring to the recession.

Harper's Island: I saw this show the other night. It's about a wedding celebration that is held at Harper's Island, which is by Seattle. Each week, someone gets killed. It's a murder mystery. You should check it out. There are so many actors that I recognize on this show. Christopher Gorham plays the groom, I saw him on Popular and the short- lived show Jake 2.0 which was from Buffy producer David Greenwalt.

I see Gina Holden (Flash Gordon, Blood Ties), Brandon Jay McLaren (The Best Years), Harry Hamlin (Veronica Mars).

Writing: I was thinking about once again on Joss Whedon shows Buffy and Dollhouse, where people are under the influence of something, and remember what they did. I also remembered an ep of Angel season 1 that happened. This actress drugged Angel's drink with doxamil which makes him happy. As soon as Angel is happy, he becomes evil.

Angel then says all these mean things to his friends Wesley and Cordelia, and tries to kill them. They manage to get Angel unconscious, and chained him to the bed. Angel remembers what he did, and starts apologizing for what he did. See, now that's good. Unlike Smallville, with their lazy and bad writing, they just have the characters forget all the bad things they did without any consequences.

Job: Working on Good Friday was like working on a Sunday. Very little work. On Saturday, there was a lot of business. I've been working here for 11 months now.

Friends: On Wednesday I called up my friend Sherri and we talked a bit. Then on Friday and Saturday, I worked with my friend Ray. On Saturday, my friend Chamnouer actually dropped by at work. She mentioned that she wanted to see my gr. 12 yearbook, but I didn't know if she got the message. I didn't bring it, but I will next Saturday.

C says she likes the movie Slumdog Millionare, but didn't really like Watchmen. To each their own. I was talking to my friend Angela last night. She said there were actually a few guys who asked her out, but she turned them down because she's too busy.

Rant: I remember this one time back in 2001, I was on the website www.ecrush.com and I was reading "Horror Date." It was an old section where people write about bad dating experiences. I was 16 when I wrote a fictional story about a bad date, and it got published on the website.

There was this guy ranting about how dating for guys is really bad. The first rant was: "Guys always have to pay for the first date." I told this to my sister, and she's like: "Yeah well that is the rule." Then S started getting really angry when I told her this: "Then the guy says that girls get to choose the pace of the entire relationship."

S: Well yeah, you mean sexually? Because you can't force yourself on her.
Me: Then the guy says something about the Titanic and how the women and children got to get off the sinking boat.
S: That's because women were the weaker sex, and they get to go on it.
Then S says: " He must not be getting any." Well after the guy wrote his rant, a whole bunch of girls made comments that pretty much said the same thing that he wasn't getting any. It's an easy shot at him. Due to my memory, there were 2 guys who agreed with him. None of the girls dissed those 2 guys though.

Usually the guy Phil who is in charge of Ecrush, he makes a comment after the story of the date. However he wrote: "I'm going to let you guys do the talking." lol. When I was reading that guy's rant and the comments, I wasn't angry. I thought it was fun to read the discussion.

Apr. 13 Defense: Today my co-worker Jennifer was ranting about her boyfriend. I told her about the guy I was talking to through the online dating site, and he blocked me. Jen said: "What a jerk." I'm going to defend this guy. When we first started talking, we talked about mix martial arts (mma), TV, and movies. Then I didn't hear from him in two weeks. Then he emails me and we were IMing again. Then he blocks me.

I was talking to my friends Sherri and Angela about it. I don't have any bad blood against this guy because he blocked me for not having any sexual experience. I didn't know that could be a deal breaker, at least for him. Jen then said the exact same thing I said, that it's good that we ended it right then and there before we put any more time and effort into each other.

I also got another flashback of the show Angel. The police all take sensitivity training, and touch this magic stick that later makes them all act wild and crazy. Then they blame it on the alcohol they had at the bar where a retirement party was held. Angel also touched the stick. He and the cops remember everything they did, and dealt with the consequences.

Apr. 14 Saying: You know the saying: "You miss all the shots you never take." Last week I saw a job posting to write a script for this guy. I sent him an email, he asks for 2 of my writing samples. I sent it to him. 5 days later, I emailed him today asking if he will hire me. Don Krouskop emails me this:

Tracy,

I did have the opportunity to read your samples, and was very impressed. However, another writer has already been chosen to script this project. His vision for the material was just too close to my own for me to pass on him.

I will definitely keep you in mind for future projects!

Success,
Don

Apr. 15 Inspired: Wow, he said "very impressed." Well today, one of the production companies emailed me back after reading it. The first two paragraphs were about what the story was. Then it says this:

"This script needs a major overhaul in many areas- particularly character development, plot, structure and most certainly dialogue – before it can be considered ready for production."

Ouch. Well I needed to hear that to improve the script.

Weird: I got onto my email account, and it was so weird. The guy who I was talking to on that online dating website, the guy who blocked me. Well today he then asked me to be put onto his IM list again. So I did. I can easily delete him later.

dance/ filming/ southland

Apr. 7 Dance: Here's Part 2 to the So You Think You Can Dance Canada auditions. When I saw all these people stretching and dancing, I was very nervous and excited. Then I felt really intimidated. When I was in gr.7 and 9 and danced in front of 700 people at the school's talent show, it wasn't so nerve- racking. Back then I wasn't competing with anyone, I was just there to perform and have fun.

Well I haven't performed since 2000 when that last talent show was. Mainly I dance at home. When the Canadian show came out, the auditions were in Calgary, so I didn't go there. I had to come out when they were in Edmonton. I remember reading a LuLuLemon bag that said: "Do something that scares you once a day." Well I did it. I did tell my manager and my friend Ray at work that I was auditioning. I know if I told my sister, she would be like: "You can't make it." Well Patrick wished me luck.

Blake McGrath didn't really look that good today. Well, this was like the pre- auditions and the cameras weren't really on him so he didn't have to dress up. He was wearing a muscle shirt, jeans, black shoes, and a black touque. It really showed off his tattoos. He and the executive producer, this blond woman were like the two judges to pick who gets through.

One of the rules was to not wear any logos on your shirt. So I wore a black polo shirt, black dress pants and sneakers. I took off my glasses when dancing. Everything was kind of blurry. It's good to dance for Blake. I'm looking at him when I'm dancing, but I can't really see him so I can't get nervous. I felt I did kind of sloppy in the middle of the dance.

We were to dance to Rihanna's "Breakin' Dishes." I heard a girl say: "Go hard, or go home." I did see a beer commercial that said: "Go big, or go home." I felt I gave it my all. I showed my hip hop moves, tried to look cool, had fun, and after my bit was over, I felt breathlesss. It's important that I tried my best and tried something new.

Since I was outside, I didn't get to see a lot of the auditions. From what I did see, the dancers who did their bit, and got rejected, they weren't bad. I think the judges just didn't really like it as much as the others. So about 3 and a half hours of waiting, and dancing for 30 seconds, I got rejected. It's still a good experience, and now I have something to write about.

I remember a couple of years ago I wrote in an email: "I'm watching So You Think You Can Dance. I think I can get to Las Vegas, but I don't know about the Top 20." Well now I know I can't even get through the first round of pre- auditions. Well I'm still going to keep auditioning until I'm 30, which is the cut off age. I haven't been so happy and excited since last month when I finished my script and sent it out.

I always wanted to audition for the show, and I did. I'll throw in another small detail. During the break, Blake was dipping crackers in cheese. You're like: "Okay..." lol.

Apr. 10: Let's think here, what's the new thing I tried recently besides this? Well I ate at Good Buddy Express awhile ago. It's not bad, but Chinese food does taste all the same to me.

Filming: I also saw the host and Muchmusic VJ Leah Miller. The filming was interesting. We're all supposed to run and cheer when we run into the Winspear. Then the producer tells us to all walk back to where we are. Then there were some takes of Leah saying: "Welcome to..." and the dancers say: "So You Think You Can Dance!" Then there were takes of Leah saying: "Welcome to So You Think You Can Dance..." and the dancers say: "On CTV!"

Leah was wearing a white trenchcoat. In between takes a producer puts a big winter coat over her. It wasn't that cold, like 5 degrees. That's like autumn in September.

Economy: I read in the Journal that the economy isn't as bad as it was back in 1930s. We have unemployment insurance and the Canadian Pension Plan.

I'm predicting Blockbuster will close down. Besides the recession, there is the warm weather. People are going to go out instead of stay in and watch movies.

Job search: I uploaded my profile for City of Edmonton. I already uploaded my profile on Telus.

Mar. 9: I was watching America's Best Dance Crew during the commercial breaks of a new Criminal Minds last night and I thought: "I should really take some hip- hop lessons." I didn't because I didn't feel like I should learn how to dance by paying, when I could pick up all these dance moves from watching TV. I reflected back when I was in the talent show. The entire school has watched music videos of Britney Spears and Janet Jackson, so they know what's good dancing. Now these days, there are so many TV shows that showcase dancing, and now with Youtube, where I can watch videos of anyone dancing. There is this whole set of standards that have been raised than just music videos.

Auditioning for SYTYCDC, is way different than performing in front 700 people. I know that not all 700 people can dance, or even be able to perform in front of so many people. But to dance for Blake McGrath who did dance for Britney, Janet, and can do all types of dance, perform in front of thousands of people, and make lots of money doing it takes it to a whole another level.

Writing: I've been getting these newsletters from the Screenwriting Goldmine. This time it said something about looking for a screenwriter. I then emailed the guy. He emails me back with the story, and he asks for me to send one or two writing samples. So I sent Part 1 of The Fighter and Part 1 of Garret Chase.

Southland: I checked out the new show called Southland. It's from the producers of ER. It's a good thing now that ER is over after 15 years, the producers still have work. It stars Ben Mackenzie from The OC, and he plays a rookie cop. The show is really gritty and shot in a different film stock. It's good, I recommend you watch it.

It kind of reminds me of why I decided to not be a cop. I used to watch real cop shows like Cops and the Canadian version of the show called To Serve and Protect. It's so depressing and gets me angry. If watching that makes me feel like that, then I can only imagine that it will be 10 times worse when I'm actually there.

the fog/ entertainment/ dance

Apr. 4 The Fog: Today I saw the movie called The Fog that came out in 2005. It's a remake of a 1980 thriller from John Carpenter. He also produced this new one. It stars Tom Welling (Clark Kent from Smallville.) My nitpick is that I always kind of had a problem with TW being casted on that show. He was 25 years old, and he looked way too old to be playing a high school kid.

Yeah, I know, twenty- somethings are always playing high school kids, but I didn't like how he was casted. Anyway, back to the movie. It was scary because there is this supernatural fog that kills people. It turns out the fog is created by ghosts who were betrayed colonists and they were to seek revenge. I do like the fact that the black guy Spooner survives. There are a few movies where I see the black guy survive in a horror movie.It also stars Selma Blair. I was creeped out and there was suspense in it.

The movie really does go full circle. In the beginning, four men jump off a ship that is on fire. Towards the end of the movie, it explains how it caught on fire.

Fun: Today I got to watch Flash Gordon. Yesterday on my day off, I was watching some TV and I saw that One Tree Hill was on. It's the one where Michael Trucco guest stars and I was so happy. lol.

Music: I borrowed the Metro Station cd from the library. I love the song "Tell Me What to Do." Most of the songs are short and fast.

Apr. 5 Entertainment: I was reading Degrassi: The Next Generation on twop.com. It turns out some actors from the show are in this theatre play called "Dog Sees God." It's a parody of Charlie Brown if they all grew up. Here's a trailer of it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7OYkby2bcc

I found news about the new CW pilot called Vampire Diaries starring Nina Gobrev from Degrassi. She plays a girl in a love triangle where two vampire brothers are in love with her. I'll check it out.
http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/03/pilot-castings.html

I read that celebrity choreographey Alex Da Silva was arrested for raping 4 women. He was a choreographer for the TV show So You Think You Can Dance. When I read that I said: "Oh my God!" Well at least they got him off the streets. The 4 women didn't know each other, but all their stories were exactly the same.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/090405/entertainment/dancer_arrested

Rant: Here's a mild rant. I don't like TV shows like Paris Hilton's BFF, and her British BFF show. I don't like Brody Jenner's show called Bromance. These shows are where people compete to be a this celebrity's best friend. At first I thought it was okay, like it's better than The Bachelor where one person is dating 10 people at the same time. They're competing to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend. The Bachelor/ Bachelorette shows are so bad, it makes me appreciate Blind Date.

On BD, they don't compete. They actually get to know each other and see if they're actually a good match or not. I thought competing to be someone's friend wasn't going to be trashy. But then I watch some of it, and I realized it was. Competing to be someone's friend is just as bad as competing to be someone's boyfriend/ girlfriend.

I might was well throw this one in too: I saw the trailer for the new Hannah Montana movie, and I see that Tyra Banks makes an appearance in it. Tyra is okay and all, I don't hate Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus, but... maybe I'm annoyed because I'm thinking: "Wow, Tyra has sunk into a new low by doing this movie." It's not really a low if Tyra wants to do something that teens would be interested in like her talk show and her modeling show.

I guess I'm annoyed because the scene looked bad. It's where Tyra and Miley are fighting over a pair of shoes at a shoe store. Wait, I think I figured out why I'm annoyed. It looks like a bad movie, so I won't watch it.

Funny: On my day off on Friday, I did my job search. I had Sunday off, so I was going to chill out the whole day. Then I get a call from my manager and he needs me to work. Well I got to hang out with my friend Ray there.

Me: I was reading about Degrassi: The Next Generation on twop.com and on the show, they created a site called "Face Range." Someone writes: "What's next? Lifejournal, Gaagle, Tweeter?"
lol.
Me: I was on "TV Lessons I've Learned" thread and I said: "Social networking sites are bad like on Degrassi's 'My Room' and Law and Order: Special Victims Unit "Face Union." Then someone said: "The internet is bad in general."
Ray: TV slams the internet, and the internet slams TV.

Writing: Ray says that if you look at the teen fiction section in a bookstore, there is a lot about vampires and not just Twilight. I remembered going to a bookstore and seeing that. It's often a love story. I have written a vamp script when I was in high school, and it was all action. Right now I'm hitting writer's block on this vamp story. It's also action. I think I hit writer's block, because I don't write supernatural things anymore. I want to write things that are realistic.

Apr. 6: Today I worked on my vamp story The Hunter. I worked on it for 45 minutes. Then I worked on it for another hour while I had The Hills on in the background. I convince myself that I'm not watching it, because I'm really writing.

Apr. 7 Dance: I auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance Canada today. It was so surreal to be dancing for one of my celebrity crushes Blake McGrath who is one of the judges, and was in the top 6 dancers in SYTYCD season 1. I got (fake cough in hand) rejected! Let's do a rewind.

3 weeks ago, I read in the Metro and 24 newspaper, that there will be the auditions on Apr. 7 in the Winspear Centre. I was so happy and excited. Then a week before it, I then went on the site and printed out the pages and forms to fill out and sign. I was then rehearsing my dance moves. I thought I was going to be dancing in front of the 4 judges on stage. However, I learned that it was different.

You have to dance for 30 seconds to a song that they give you, and if you do well, you can go to the next audition tomorrow. Then you get to dance for 10 seconds. Then you can dance in front of the four judges. I was talking to this girl Anna.

Me: I don't get that. I see some pretty bad dancers dancing in front of the four judges.
Anna: That's because some not very good dancers make some good TV.

I then remembered back at NAIT in 2004, this girl Tanya told me about how she auditioned for two other people at Canadian Idol, before she could get to the four judges. I didn't really tell anybody about my auditioning. Well I told Patrick because I needed someone to sign these forms as a witness.

Me: Do you have any comments about it?
P: Yeah. Why?
Me: Because I know I can dance. I never auditioned for Canadian Idol because I know I can't sing. My music teacher in high school Mr. Muth told me I was tone deaf. I respect his opinion. I never auditioned for Canada's Next Top Model because I'm not tall enough. But dancing I like.

They played this song "Breakin' Dishes" by Rihanna when the camera crew was warming up the stage which was really a dance floor. I recognized her voice, and then later I hear the lyrics and remember reading them in the Metro.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMGVTYVAqnI

About 100 people showed up to audition. I think about 70 girls. They were mainly contemporary. I did hip- hop. I woke up at 5am in the morning to use the washroom, but then I couldn't go back to sleep though I tried. Then I got up at 7am and left at 7:30am to catch the bus. I got to the Winspear Centre at 7:50am and waited in line.

We entered, and they did a bag check and scan our bodies with metal detectors. Then I handed in one of my forms. Then I saw this black girl who worked there, and asked how I knew about it. I said on the internet. I then recognized her as a girl who was in my Arts and Cultural Management program. Then I realized that I heard about it through the newspaper.

100 of us were in the room with the dance floor. Then I and 30 people were moved outside to the lobby to stretch and stuff. In line I talked to contemporary dancer Kyle and tap dancer Andrew. Anna was a tap dancer too. As we wait, about a dozen dancers came by who had gotten the golden ticket, which means they will be here tomorrow. We applauded as they walked by.

job/ crazy/ funny & weird

Apr. 1 Job: Well Lorraine quit working after about 2 years. Now we are down to 9 people. Though sometimes 10 when Cameron's friend Stephen takes over and works 1 or 2 days a month when we need it.

Then I thought about how she is like the only person who I talk about the bad reality TV show Big Brother with last summer. However, I think I can really quit this. I didn't watch BB9 at all because I had school and would rather watch well- written TV shows instead during my spare time.

Then I watched BB10 in the summer when I didn't have school. I also found myself feeling really indifferent about it. Dan was the most likeable guy who won the show. I didn't really hate anybody on this show. I used to watch that show to get my hate on and see the people I hate get evicted.

News: I was watching the tail end of Access Hollywood and they said that CBS will finally be cancelling the soap opera Guiding Light. The last episode will be airing Sept. 18.

Werther effect: I was watching the TV show Lie to Me and I learned the phrase "werther effect" which means copycat suicide. In the show it said they won't broadcast suicides on the news because it can trigger other people to do it too. After Marilyn Monroe and Kurt Cobain died, suicides increased. Here's a link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werther_effect

Rant: Guys, I have a rant. I just saw a trailer for the movie called Fighting starring Channing Tatum. I like him in the dance movie Step Up. I'm annoyed that there is another fighting movie out there. That means I have competition with my fighting movie. I went on imdb.com and CT's character is named Shawn just like my lead character. Damn it. I may have to change my character's name to avoid comparison.

In the line that I have read about the synopsis is that CT is lured into underground street fighting by this scam artist played by Terrence Howard. That's kind of like my movie. Well in the first draft of my script, Shawn was lured by a guy who was like a scam artist. However, in the latest draft I pitched, it's someone else.

Look, Fighting may not be like my movie The Fighter after all. Hey remember Never Back Down? When I first saw the trailer back in March 2008, I was like: "Nooooo! Not another fighting movie!" But then I watched it and it was really different from mine. In NBD, it was set in high school, and the characters fight in it for a different reason than my characters do. Look, I'll have to wait and see when Fighting comes out on Apr. 24, 2009. Then I'll read the reviews and see how the movie is like.

Apr. 2 Crazy: I was watching Yahoo News, and there was a hit and run. This black man got hit while walking home late at night. A note was left on him that said: "I'm sorry, but I have a family." Cut to the man's mother crying about it. It was unusual to leave a note. That reminds me of the new crime/ comedy procedural drama called The Unusuals starring Joan of Arcadia's Amber Tamblyn. It's about cops dealing with unusual cases.

Then another video appeared about how this man robbed a convenience store right in front of his 9 year- old daughter. I mean you got to do what you got to do to survive, but to do that in front of your daughter? She should have waited in the car, unless he brought her along so the store clerk won't go and pull out his own gun at him. That reminds me of an ep of Cheaters. The confrontation was in a convenience store, and the store clerk was behind bullet proof glass.

In lighter, but still crazy news, I was on Yahoo and saw a pic of a rabbit that has two noses with two nostrils. That is weird.

Dollhouse: Today I saw a new ep of the show. It was great and funny. There is this drug that infects by people because through airborne and touch. Everybody starts acting funny, like drunk and high, and out of character. That kind of reminds of me of Smallville where all the characters get infected by kryptonite, and they start acting all sexy and bad. Then afterwards, they forget what they did when they were on kryptonite.

Well on Dollhouse, everybody remembers what they did except the dolls because they have their memories erased. Forgetting all the bad stuff they did is kind of like the effects of drugs and alcohol. I hated that they always forget what they did; they never faced the consequences. Smallville was like the crappier version of Buffy. On Buffy, there was one ep in season one called "The Pack." Xander and four other kids were possessed by the hyena spirit. Xander pretended to Buffy and Willow that he forgot all the bad stuff he did. Then Giles told him he did his research, and said there was nothing about memory loss, but he will keep his secret.

Funny & Weird: I asked my friend Ray at work if she reads my weekly emails and she said yes, and that she laughed at my "atom joke." But the really funny thing today is when I got home. Let's just say I've been dabbling in some online dating websites. I went to one a few weeks ago and was emailing and IMing this guy for about 4 days. Then he said that he couldn't really see my pic and that I should upload new ones. He says he won't go out with people he can't see.

Then later I went and worked on my script. Two weeks later, (yesterday) he emails me again on the website. I was surprised he was still interested because we never contacted each other at all during that time. He asks me out. I email back. Then he IMs me and he asks some questions. I will paraphrase it.

Guy: Why are you on this site?
Me: To look for a boyfriend.
Guy: Good.
(Looks like we're on the same page).
Guy: Do you like white guys?
Me: Yes.
(I wouldn't be chatting with him if I wasn't.)
Guy: I don't mean to be rude, but do you like sex?
Me: No.
Guy: Are you waiting for marriage?

Me: I guess waiting.
Guy: Have you ever had sex? Have you ever done it?
Me: No.
Guy: Yikes.
Me: That's okay. We can stop this right now, and move on.

He said something, but I can't remember what it was. Then Patrick comes saying he needs to use the computer for school, so I told the guy I had to get off IM. Then I left. Today I didn't know what he was thinking. So I emailed him the atom joke on the site, and the site said: "This user has blocked you."

Me: What?! Oh my God!
I was laughing. I didn't feel rejected at all. I thought it was weird. I told the truth, and he couldn't handle the truth. I was honest though. I can contact him outside the website, because he did give me his email address so we could IM. However, I won't. I will now delete his emails.

Apr. 3: Today I bumped into my friend Sarah on the bus, and I told her the atom joke. She laughed.

S: That was bad.
Me: But you laughed.
S: Yeah, it's so bad I laughed.

Job search: I got off the bus, and went on my white- collar job search. I passed out 13 resumes in downtown. I came home printed 6 more, and passed them out in Capilano. The weather was great, and I liked walking around. I also saw that there was this HSBC location in downtown that closed down. There was a sign that said it closed down on Nov. 28, 2008. Well I already did pass out my resume to 2 other downtown locations.